Infinity0 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) So I need advice I have been out of the dating thing for a while since I was married and just got a divorce. Met this guy who asked me out. I told him we will just "hang out" since I don't think I am emotionally ready to date. We clicked right away. He is supper attractive and seemed to like me, too. He did seem very experienced in dating and I felt like he was using "lines" but he was very pleasant. We talked a lot, went for a walk then he started almost shaking and playing with my hand. The way he was playing with my hand seemed like he had done that same thing to many women before... He kept trying to kiss me but seemed hesitant so I asked him "are u trying to kiss me? :)" and he said "yes" lol so I kissed him. We kissed and kissed and made out and I loved it. I haven't felt that kind of attraction in a long time for anyone. This is the first time in my life I made out with someone on a first date so this is really new territory for me. 3,5 hours later I had to go. He invited me to his house *red flag* and I passed. He said he wanted to see me again soon. I said I did, too. On my way back home he texted me saying how good of a time he had and asked me to "turn around come back". The next morning he invited me to dinner (he would cook for me) and a movie at his house. So I know he is attracted and he knows I am, too, but I am not ready to have sex with anyone yet. I hope that's not all he wants. I told him I wasn't going to have sex with him, but I feel like he thinks he is so charming no woman can resist him So to make a long story short I wasn't able to go to dinner, but I promised him we would meet again soon. He seems very excited to see me again. The last conversations I had with him was a text where he was telling me how bummed he was I couldn't go eat with him and that he was cooking and hoping I would change my mind and go see him. I asked him to call me (so I could expain to him on the phone y I couldn't) and he said he would after dinner. HE DIDN'T CALL. I started googling "why is he not calling" and started freaking out a little. One day goes by, 2 days go by...3....4....5....6.....7.....what the heck!? WHAT HAPPENED? I didn't try to contact him, but couldn't stop thinking about him!!! I knew he was playing games, but he is in his 30s and I am in my 20s....I don't do these kinds of games and don't appreciate him doing them. So I decided "screw him". During that weeks where he didn't contact me I went on 3 other dates with other guys, but couldn't stop thinking about him. These 3 other dates were meh one of the guys is awesome, but I am not attracted in any level Soooo since I made the story long -even though I promised I wouldn't- he contacted me A WEEK LATER!!!! Telling me that he was waiting for me to contact him (huh????) and asking me if I wanted to see him that evening. I was SOOOO HAPPY to finally see a text from him. But he texted, he didn't call. I told him I was busy but I had a good time last week. He sais "we have so much to do" and some sexual stuff for which he apologized after I didn't reply. My last text to him just said "bad boy" and he said he wanted to see me. I haven't texted him back. The sexual attraction is 100% there, but I feel like my body is fighting my brain really hard right now. I haven't had good sex in years, but at the same time I'm not a "Friends with benefits" kind of person. I really really like him, but I am not sure if I should see him again because he didn't contact me for a whole week. I didn't question him or ask him why he didn't call (I played it very cool texted him hours after his text today etc) but he never explained why he didn't contact me for a week. What would u do??? Thanks for reading Edited June 25, 2013 by Infinity0
ChessPieceFace Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 He sounds like a player, and you sound like you'll enjoy being played by him. Making out on the 1st date, inviting you home also, talking sex talk before the 2nd date. So obvious what he's after. And no, not all men are after that on the 1st and 2nd date. Some of the ones you rejected and had no interest in were probably good decent guys. And you sat there lusting after the player. So typical. 1
PogoStick Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 You're not playing games? But you refuse to contact him even though you're interested...therefore it's his fault! 1
KatZee Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 It's very obvious he wants you to be in his rotation of booty calls. I don't see much else going on to indicate actual interest in YOU. 8
Jaina19 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 He sounds very immature and into playing games. Sounds like he got upset cos you couldn't make the second date, but that's his problem. If he wanted to contact you he would have done so. I'd forget him, unless you want casual sex with this guy.
Author Infinity0 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 He sounds like a player, and you sound like you'll enjoy being played by him. Making out on the 1st date, inviting you home also, talking sex talk before the 2nd date. So obvious what he's after. And no, not all men are after that on the 1st and 2nd date. Some of the ones you rejected and had no interest in were probably good decent guys. And you sat there lusting after the player. So typical. Ohhh I would enjoy being played by him like an electric guitar lol, but it's not going to happen! I will see him again and there is no sex. Let's see how long this puppy hangs around.
pteromom Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I get a strong player-vibe from him. I get a feeling that all you are gonna get here is sex. You are tempting heartbreak to continue seeing him. But as long as you keep sex off the table, you'll find out quickly if that is all he wants or not. If he is interested in YOU, and not just banging you, he should be asking questions about you and your interests and goals, getting to know you, sharing stuff about himself, etc.
Phantom888 Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 If he were really interested in you, he would not push for sex so blatantly. Once he realized he couldn't get sex from you, he blew you off. Now he may have been rejected by other women, or he is going through his rotation...and you are next on the list again. That's why he text you. Simple dumb male mind games.... I think you already know all of this. You have to decide if you want to be used for sex. Some women see it as an opportunity to bang an attractive guy. But if you are not that kind of girl, you should not see him again. IMHO. 2
BluEyeL Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Agree with everyone else, he just wants sex, he invited you over for sex and he came later to try again, for sex....don't kid yourself. If you are able to have casual sex and want to do it, just do it, but don't expect anything more from this one.
brandnew2 Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Are you really asking us for advice? You're in a classic "I'm attracted to a bad boy" situation. You shouldn't need to resort to an online message board to see where this one's going to end up. I feel bad for the other guys you've dated since meeting him, because they were likely great, genuine people. I'll also tell you from the standpoint of a player, he absolutely believes that he will have sex with you if you go to his place, no matter how much you tell him otherwise. And honestly, I think you will too. 1
justwhoiam Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 What would u do??? 1) go out with him again after some decent courting on his part 2) refrain from making out or kissing him and if he tries to, just say: "No, I'd like to know you better before letting my instincts get the best of me" 3) ask him some freaking out questions like: "How long would you be able to go without sex if you really like a woman?"
BradJacobs Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 I told him we will just "hang out" since I don't think I am emotionally ready to date. We kissed and kissed and made out and I loved it. I haven't felt that kind of attraction in a long time for anyone. 3,5 hours later I had to go. What would u do??? Personally I would have gone back to her house after that three and a half hour makeout session. What would I do if I were you? Decide if I can have sex with someone without an emotional attachment. You set the stage for this type of behavior from the get go. As an important reminder, when you see him again please remember to have that conversation about STDs, protection and contraception. Good luck!
Author Infinity0 Posted June 29, 2013 Author Posted June 29, 2013 Thank you for all the advise So at this point he is frustrated because I am too busy to meet with him everyday. I am not THAT busy. I could make time for him if I wanted to. I saw him a few days ago and it was great again. We kissed, but not for as many hours as last time and went to the movies. He wanted to come to my place and started telling me that he has never liked a girl this much and he is so into me and so attracted and this and that and all I could think is "you are so full of ****" but I kept smiling. So he probably thinks I'm falling in love with him or something. So I've never let a guy "play me" or think that he is playing me and I am kind of enjoying watching him make a fool of himself. I wont contact him for at least a week and see what he does. Definitely not taking this guy seriously.
SJC2008 Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 A woman who consciously uses logic over her emotions? Will you marry me? Now don't cave and be a FWB and make me look bad now lol. 1
sillyanswer Posted June 30, 2013 Posted June 30, 2013 Go on a second date, but not at his house (or yours). That way you can have a date and not just a sex session.
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