Delilah1623 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I will admit right off the bat I am awful at relationships. I was with the same person from 17-26 and then dated a sociopath for 4 months. He has been in jail for over a year and I have had some short term casual relationships since then but nothing serious until now. I met my current boyfriend online and we have been together about 2.5 months. We have had 2 fights, the first because of my jealousy and insecurity and the second because of his fear of getting hurt. He was also in a 9 year relationship that ended when his ex wife moved herself and their daughter into her new boyfriends house while he was deployed. The last was 2 weeks ago and after talking and deciding to try and work on our relationship things have gone really well, I am been a lot calmer and trusting and he has been more open with his feelings. The issue I have is that he is the type of person that gets overwhelmed by stress (job related and he also stresses about things like money even though it isn't a real issue at this time) and becomes quiet and withdrawn. He did this yesterday after we had spend most of the weekend together and had a really good time. I told him to take the day to take care of his stuff. He texted me later in the day and he apologized if he was short with me, saying it was nothing I did and that he just needed to clean up his house and take care of some stuff at work. I understand this and i think it's normal. But due to my past I also get anxious that he is falling out of love with me and feel a little resentful even though I know I shouldnt. Any one been through something similar and learned a good way to cope with this?
lostinlove101 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 And have learned it is because of chaotic/dysfunctional family relationships as a child. When you're young-5,6,7 you think the world revolves around you, that is why lots of children you survive divorces etc feel they are why their parents broke up, for example. These experiences are traumatic and get triggered in adult life by things that elicit similar feelings. Sometimes these feels are conscious and sometimes they're subconscious and we're not even aware that were thinking them. The first step to resolving unconscious feelings behavior is to recognize and become aware of them..... I'd say look at those things and ask yourself if there's. connection to what you're feeling now. It seems he explained himself and he explanation is a reasonable one.
Author Delilah1623 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 I know it's nothing he has said or done that makes me stress. He's been amazing and more patient than I think most guys would be. My parents disowned me when I got divorced so now I always have this fear that people will just disappear. It's getting better but still hard for me at tunes.
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