JuneJulySeptember Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I was wondering the board's opinion on cold approach for unsuccessful men. As an unsuccessful man who has tried cold approach, I have my own opinion obviously. But, let's hear yours first. Guys who have reached their mid 20s or later generally being bad with women for whatever reason. Guys who have faced rejection by average looking women at parties, school, work, 'comfortable' social situations where they have known women and actually had an 'in'. Does cold approach even make any sense?
Lansing Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I would suggest not just talking to a girl randomly in a park or anything but to maybe get involved volunteering with something that interests you or getting involved with some kind of social group/activity first. I have had good luck meeting people randomly (in the line for a movie at a film festival, etc) and some of these girls I went on dates with. Usually the getting the phone number isn't hard even from a "cold approach" but you will get seriously frustrated in not being able to get anything concrete to develop most of the times. I met a girl one time walking out of a free outdoor concert. I got to talking to her and got her number within 10 minutes. We went on a date within the week (coffee date) and really hit it off. We dated for like 3 months but I basically didn't show enough interest in her and she got fed up... (I hadn't really had "relationships" at that point... anyway, that is another story). TLDR summary - no harm in approaching women wherever you are. I would suggest talking to not just the "hot" girls though, talk and be friendly with everyone and it will help in the long run.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 What counts as a "cold approach"? I approached a girl in high school, absolutely gorgeous girl. Got her number, but I think she gave it to me because she didn't want to say no. I approached a girl in college, she wanted no part of it. So obviously, not too successful. I'm not sure if either of those two count though since they were in school settings not just randomly at the mall or at the park or something...
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 I guess, obviously not a good idea from the responses. *chirp*, *chirp*
Revolver Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 That's actually the best thing they can do. Just approach girls and hope for the best
hppr Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I was wondering the board's opinion on cold approach for unsuccessful men. As an unsuccessful man who has tried cold approach, I have my own opinion obviously. But, let's hear yours first. Guys who have reached their mid 20s or later generally being bad with women for whatever reason. Guys who have faced rejection by average looking women at parties, school, work, 'comfortable' social situations where they have known women and actually had an 'in'. Does cold approach even make any sense? I don't know if cold approach 'makes sense' but I do know that when I dress well, smell nice, groom myself and am friendly/outgoing talking to women is a hell of a lot easier. Very rarely do I get told to F off or ignored now. The key is to come off casual like you aren't hitting on her if that makes sense.
PogoStick Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I can't imagine cold approach working if you can't get the warm approach to work: being part of the same group (volleyball team), friend of a friend, coworker, etc. Those are infinitely easier so why abandon it? 1
El Brujo Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Nope, I absolutely refuse to do it. Women don't walk around with a list of their personality traits, likes, and dislikes pinned to the front of their blouses. And I never liked surprises because they've always been bad. That's why I only do meetups nowadays.
NYC-BigKat Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 I was wondering the board's opinion on cold approach for unsuccessful men. As an unsuccessful man who has tried cold approach, I have my own opinion obviously. But, let's hear yours first. Guys who have reached their mid 20s or later generally being bad with women for whatever reason. Guys who have faced rejection by average looking women at parties, school, work, 'comfortable' social situations where they have known women and actually had an 'in'. Does cold approach even make any sense? I used to do it all the time but never get any results so I stopped. So now I try to meet girls through friends/family & still no results. Um, what else is there to do u know .
MrTurk Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 It doesnt matter what kind of approach it is....cold, hot, or lukewarm....no approach works unless the girl already finds you attractive before you open your mouth. The only time you can really get a date when a girl doesnt instantly find you attractive is if she is forced to get to know you, usually at work. Because women size analyze a guy in 2 secs...and make that judgment right there. But if she has to work with you...it forces her to learn who you are and find out you are not the guy she assumed you to be with her superficial 2 second analysis. 2
Socks At Play Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I guess it depends on the definition of a "cold approach." If she's walking past with earbuds or staring down at the ground, I'm not going to try to break through that. If she's looking at me and smiling, why not try it out? I've got nothing to lose. When I don't do it, I regret it later on. I can't imagine cold approach working if you can't get the warm approach to work: being part of the same group (volleyball team), friend of a friend, coworker, etc. Those are infinitely easier so why abandon it? I guess it depends on how many women you are around in the "warm" settings. It's not "infinitely easier" if you have few options here. I hate pursuing women at work, although I have made exceptions when the women make it obvious they're interested. That said, I'm not sure the work me they see is really me. Nope, I absolutely refuse to do it. Women don't walk around with a list of their personality traits, likes, and dislikes pinned to the front of their blouses. I suppose if you know exactly what you want then yes, random women aren't likely going to check off all of those boxes on your date order form. For me, my life isn't so busy that I can't spend a few hours a week meeting new women even if it turns out our "traits" aren't a match.
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 28, 2013 Author Posted June 28, 2013 It speaks VOLUMES that no woman has responded to this thread.
pteromom Posted June 28, 2013 Posted June 28, 2013 I never minded a cold approach... what worked best for me was when a guy just smiled, did a little innocent flirting (no sexual innuendo, etc), talked to me for a bit, and then asked for my number. Worst thing that can happen is she says no. (And even then it isn't necessarily about you. Could be she already has a boyfriend or is coming off a bad breakup or something.) You have to spend a little time creating a little bit of a connection though. You can't just walk up and ask for her number out of the blue. Other things that turn cold approach from cute to creepy: - You are staring at her boobs whenever you get a chance. - You are dirty, slobby, greasy, or otherwise un-hygenic. - You just stand there staring, or not saying anything, but not leaving. - You invade her personal space and/or touch her. Too soon! - You are approaching every woman you see, and they can all see that you are just throwing a dart at anything with a vagina. - You are too intense. Getting to know someone should start casually and light-hearted. - You don't smile or laugh. Weird. If you don't enjoy being around me, why are you asking for my number? - Your conversation topic of choice is: your ex; my ex; your Civil War reenactment group; sex; your parents.
El Brujo Posted June 29, 2013 Posted June 29, 2013 Other things that turn cold approach from cute to creepy: - You are staring at her boobs whenever you get a chance. - You are dirty, slobby, greasy, or otherwise un-hygenic. - You just stand there staring, or not saying anything, but not leaving. - You invade her personal space and/or touch her. Too soon! - You are approaching every woman you see, and they can all see that you are just throwing a dart at anything with a vagina. - You are too intense. Getting to know someone should start casually and light-hearted. - You don't smile or laugh. Weird. If you don't enjoy being around me, why are you asking for my number? - Your conversation topic of choice is: your ex; my ex; your Civil War reenactment group; sex; your parents. You forgot "if you instantly turn stoopid when you look at her". Believe me, I've seen some guys do a GREAT impression of a mongoloid idiot when they see a woman they think is hot.
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