countrygirl2012 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Bear with me because this will probably be very long. I go to school about 18 hours away from my hometown where my boyfriend lives. We made it through our first year of long distance with two more to go before I move home for good. I've moved in with him for the summer. I lost touch with most of my high school friends because I went so far away to school and I can't say I'm all that upset about it. We all grew apart. That being said I really don't have many people to hang out with so I spend most of my time with my boyfriend. He works full time. I'm babysitting and doing a few odd jobs for people and also taking summer classes. I'm not nearly busy enough and lately I've been having a hard time keeping myself occupied. I need to hang out with people besides my boyfriend(I love that man but obviously I need my breaks at times just as he does). The problem is I don't know who to hang out with. I feel like I SHOULD hang out with my high school friends but I just don't WANT to. I had a HUGE falling out with a guy friend because he "was happy for my boyfriend and I but didn't like who I was becoming" Yes I have changed during my college years...isn't that the point?! To grow up and become who YOU want to become not who your friends from high school want you to become? Is it wrong of me to choose my boyfriend who I love very much and am making plans to spend the rest of my life with over my high school friends, some of whom seem want us to stay in high school forever? Anyone experienced similar post high school situations? Edited June 24, 2013 by countrygirl2012
justwhoiam Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Hopefully, someone in a similar situation will answer your thread. In the meantime, I'll tell you what I think. I lost touch with most of my high school friends because I went so far away to school and I can't say I'm all that upset about it. We all grew apart. ... I feel like I SHOULD hang out with my high school friends but I just don't WANT to. I guess you feel them distant, not because of the physical distance. You might feel you don't have much in common with them anymore. But the problem is your boyfriend is still friends with them, and for this reason, I'm not sure how you can leave them out the door. Those friends are aware you don't like them anymore, and in turn they don't like you anymore. It's not a healthy situation if you want to keep living in that town. I really don't have many people to hang out with so I spend most of my time with my boyfriend. ... I need to hang out with people besides my boyfriend See what that town or neighbor towns have to offer in your spare time: labs, learning to play an instrument, art classes, etc. Join something in the morning or afternoon (depending on your work schedule). It will provide a new environment for 2 or 3 days a week. And you'll meet new people with similar interests. I had a HUGE falling out with a guy friend because he "was happy for my boyfriend and I but didn't like who I was becoming" Yes I have changed during my college years...isn't that the point?! To grow up and become who YOU want to become not who your friends from high school want you to become? Is it wrong of me to choose my boyfriend who I love very much and am making plans to spend the rest of my life with over my high school friends, some of whom seem want us to stay in high school forever? Unless they are bad people, there's no need to snub them, even if you feel you don't have anything in common with them anymore. Treat them the way you would like to be treated. And introduce your boyfriend to new people. You need a social dimension too in the relationship, not just a bubble with the two of you. There will be times when it's nice to be just the two of you and it's fine. But connections are important.
Author countrygirl2012 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 But the problem is your boyfriend is still friends with them, and for this reason, I'm not sure how you can leave them out the door. Those friends are aware you don't like them anymore, and in turn they don't like you anymore. It's not a healthy situation if you want to keep living in that town. I guess I didn't fully explain myself. These are not mutual friends of ours. My boyfriend and I went to different high schools. He doesn't really know these friends at all besides the few times we have all hung out as a group. And the part with my best guy friend. HE was the one who said those things about me. He tore me apart completely and we have barely spoken since. I don't dislike my friends. I just feel that we have all grown apart. There are no hard feelings on my end(besides with the one best guy friend). I just don't relate to them as well as I once did.
justwhoiam Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I guess I didn't fully explain myself. These are not mutual friends of ours. My boyfriend and I went to different high schools. He doesn't really know these friends at all besides the few times we have all hung out as a group. Ah, that was not clear at all. Well, the rest I suggested is still valid. Plus, I guess you have your boyfriend's friends too you can connect to. Don't rule them out. Unless your boyfriend doesn't have any friends...
Author countrygirl2012 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 Plus, I guess you have your boyfriend's friends too you can connect to. Don't rule them out. Unless your boyfriend doesn't have any friends... He does have friends lol. They're all very nice to me and don't mind when I tag along places. Thank you for your reply! I'll definitely keep everything you said in mind. 1
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