Should i forgive my ex and initiate contact just because she is 19?

[youcanever]

Pals,

 

Im so confused. I opened a threas about the situation yesterday but still confused. I am 23 and my ex is 19. She broke up with me 4 weeks ago and tol me not to contact her again. I kept that promise and did NC for 3 weeks. She called me 3 days ago and talked as a friend, asked how î am doîng and stuff. Asked about my job talked about her studies. Told me she doesnt know why she is calling. Told me she doesnt want to give mixed signals.

 

There was a statue that means a lot to me and she asked for it when we were în relationship. I gave her. And when we broke up î wanted it back an she said no. And i said okay. And 3 days ago she told she will send ststue back because she know it means a lot to me. ???

 

At the end of talk i told her i dont want a relation like asking each other how we are doing once in 3 4 weeks because when she finds a bf i know she will stop it and i will know that. Did same to her ex.

 

Everyone says she is 19. Child, confused.

 

Should i man up and take control or let her be? Being 19 is a reason to play a guy's feelings or hurt him? Is this their excuse or 19 is a really weird age? As a guy i dont remember i was like this. Heartless.

 

Need advice. Should i write her and talk to her? Or should i forget her. She is so selfish and independent. Is this only 19 year old traits or her bas character?

 

Everysingle advice will be appreciated. Very confused.

[Toddbt12y1]

Although age plays some factor, it does not excuse negative behavior. At 19(even younger) at person is capable of understanding when they've hurt another person. The brain, however, is not fully mature; thus her age does play into account.

 

I believe you shouldn't contact her. Man-up? You mean bear the whole burden of trying to re-engage a relationship with her? No. Don't even. If she wanted you back; as I assume you want her back: she would also share in this burden, and make it work.

 

What you're doing is setting yourself up for a harder fall. Her age is no excuse for, as in, for you to do everything to make this work.

 

Did the same to her "ex"? I'd say that is a sign of her wanting to keep her exes in contact, till she finds someone else. Dangling a string. Her offer to return that statue you want back is entirely up to you...as long as she does indeed return it. If she has not contacted you in three weeks, I'd not bother with her.

 

I had an ex, who didn't contact me for three weeks, gemma, and when she did(close to Christmas), with a simple "Hiya". I ignored it. I haven't really heard from her since then. But, you are not me, and will handle it differently. I know the struggle to resist their contact.

 

I wouldn't contact her further; albeit, only for that statue...if you want it badly enough. Only then, once, see if she sends it. Then ignore her. She doesn't care. Three weeks of no contact should reflect this.

[youcanever]

Although age plays some factor, it does not excuse negative behavior. At 19(even younger) at person is capable of understanding when they've hurt another person. The brain, however, is not fully mature; thus her age does play into account.

 

I believe you shouldn't contact her. Man-up? You mean bear the whole burden of trying to re-engage a relationship with her? No. Don't even. If she wanted you back; as I assume you want her back: she would also share in this burden, and make it work.

 

What you're doing is setting yourself up for a harder fall. Her age is no excuse for, as in, for you to do everything to make this work.

 

Did the same to her "ex"? I'd say that is a sign of her wanting to keep her exes in contact, till she finds someone else. Dangling a string. Her offer to return that statue you want back is entirely up to you...as long as she does indeed return it. If she has not contacted you in three weeks, I'd not bother with her.

 

I had an ex, who didn't contact me for three weeks, gemma, and when she did(close to Christmas), with a simple "Hiya". I ignored it. I haven't really heard from her since then. But, you are not me, and will handle it differently. I know the struggle to resist their contact.

 

I wouldn't contact her further; albeit, only for that statue...if you want it badly enough. Only then, once, see if she sends it. Then ignore her. She doesn't care. Three weeks of no contact should reflect this.

 

I think there is a confusion. She is the one broke up and î was in no contact for 3 weeks because she told me not to. Also about statue, at our talk i told her i dont want statue back but she insisted. ???

 

I dont want to get back with her. My mind and heart says not to. Alao i dont feel as same as before but the idea that she will sleep wîth other guys is killin me. After my relationships every ex of mine engaged or married. Im like angood luck charm.

 

And the thought of she will find soulmatr and have loooong relationship is hurting me. Again i lost she wins.

[Toddbt12y1]

I think there is a confusion. She is the one broke up and î was in no contact for 3 weeks because she told me not to. Also about statue, at our talk i told her i dont want statue back but she insisted. ???

 

I dont want to get back with her. My mind and heart says not to. Alao i dont feel as same as before but the idea that she will sleep wîth other guys is killin me. After my relationships every ex of mine engaged or married. Im like angood luck charm.

 

And the thought of she will find soulmatr and have loooong relationship is hurting me. Again i lost she wins.

 

Oh? I apologise. I must have been confused, even though I read that twice. Well, I wouldn't see myself as the loser and she as the winner. Even if she meets another person, they marry -- doesn't mean you've lost. Eventually your time will come. Sometimes it takes forever. Things will look up. Take the statue.

 

Go on no contact again...look forward to your life ahead, don't worry about who she will end up with.

[youcanever]

Oh? I apologise. I must have been confused, even though I read that twice. Well, I wouldn't see myself as the loser and she as the winner. Even if she meets another person, they marry -- doesn't mean you've lost. Eventually your time will come. Sometimes it takes forever. Things will look up. Take the statue.

 

Go on no contact again...look forward to your life ahead, don't worry about who she will end up with.

 

You are right, i love that statue and i will take it back. Alao she will send it by post so i dont have to deal with her.

 

Appreciate help.

[starlet86]

Regardless of her age, you should stay away. At 19 I played and toyed with people, because I hadn't ever really understood what an adult relationship was. I didn't until I was 21 and met someone, who guess what? Played and toyed with me when he wasn't getting what he wanted anymore from the relationship. After 2 years I had finally realised what love was and it broke my heart to think I could ever do that to someone. Let her go and meet someone who is mature enough not to play games. She will grow up. It just wont be with you.

[youcanever]

Regardless of her age, you should stay away. At 19 I played and toyed with people, because I hadn't ever really understood what an adult relationship was. I didn't until I was 21 and met someone, who guess what? Played and toyed with me when he wasn't getting what he wanted anymore from the relationship. After 2 years I had finally realised what love was and it broke my heart to think I could ever do that to someone. Let her go and meet someone who is mature enough not to play games. She will grow up. It just wont be with you.

 

Isn't it sad that I'm going to miss this girl's mature days? I know she will be amazing when she will mature up and I met at the wrong time.

 

That blows.