Teknoe Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 either: online (email, IM, video chat, FB private messaging, etc.) in person over the phone Has anyone ever confessed their feelings to a person "I feel you" and it actually work out? With my ex, I didn't confess, I showed interest by manning up and kissing her. She loved it. With my last 3 crushes, I confessed (2 in person, 1 over IM) and all 3 times was shot down. Needless to say, I don't think highly of confessing anymore unless it's pretty obvious the girl would be receptive to it. Has confessing worked for anyone here? Or is going for the kiss the best thing to do? I guess with the kiss, you have to feel the moment, and for there to be a moment you and your crush must have been connecting a lot lately. I guess a kiss is inevitable under such circumstances of 2 single people enjoying each other's time 1 on 1. Confessions can come out of nowhere though and be like hail marys. Maybe that's why they have such a bad rep and are prone to lead people to the "I just see you as a friend" spiel. And then of course the friendship is never the same. Is asking someone out on a formal date a halfway meeting point between a kiss and a confession?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I confessed once and it worked out...for a while at least.
Els Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I admit I haven't. But the bf did. Worked out quite well for us. I really think it depends on the dynamic between the two of you in general. I'm guessing just asking someone out is much more common in American culture though.
TinyArdilla Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 With my first boyfriend I was 14 and he was 15 and he just asked me to be his girlfriend flat out. We were both naive and barely knew each other so it was a silly decision but we did date for quite a while before I realized it would never go anywhere. With my second boyfriend - we never actually confessed to each other, nor did he even flat out ask me out, but I think I was the one who asked him to hang out (with 2 of our mutual friends who then bailed on us) and we ended up on a date. That night he went in for the kiss and it was probably the best decision he could've made. I think it all just depends on the people involved and what they are comfortable with. Some girls don't let you just kiss them (to be honest up until the moment he kissed me I had been telling myself that I wouldn't let him - boy was I wrong) but some like when you just man up. Others prefer that you tell them you like them before making some kind of move. Just get to know the girl and see what feels right to you.
Janesays Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I have a few times. Being authentic, sincere and honest USUALLY works out well for me.
miss_jaclynrae Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I don't really understand... Confessing? You mean saying "I like you."? I have never had to say it, it was pretty much made clear.
Imajerk17 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Why would you be "confessing" or asking a girl you haven't been romantically involved with, out on a "formal" date?? Because deep down you really don't think she already likes you and you think blathering your feelings or making fancy plans will make a difference. Sheer futility. If you really felt like you had a chance you would take her out and make a move. Edited June 24, 2013 by Imajerk17
MrCastle Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 The girl is the one who typically is supposed to say it first, as well as be the one to do the whole "what are we, where is this going" thing. I've never seen a man successfully say I love you first and/or initiate the exclusivity talk. Let the woman take charge of that. Keep doing what you're doing until they bring it up. You run the risk of scaring them off if you don't.
JuneJulySeptember Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) either: online (email, IM, video chat, FB private messaging, etc.) in person over the phone Has anyone ever confessed their feelings to a person "I feel you" and it actually work out? With my ex, I didn't confess, I showed interest by manning up and kissing her. She loved it. With my last 3 crushes, I confessed (2 in person, 1 over IM) and all 3 times was shot down. Needless to say, I don't think highly of confessing anymore unless it's pretty obvious the girl would be receptive to it. Has confessing worked for anyone here? Or is going for the kiss the best thing to do? I guess with the kiss, you have to feel the moment, and for there to be a moment you and your crush must have been connecting a lot lately. I guess a kiss is inevitable under such circumstances of 2 single people enjoying each other's time 1 on 1. Confessions can come out of nowhere though and be like hail marys. Maybe that's why they have such a bad rep and are prone to lead people to the "I just see you as a friend" spiel. And then of course the friendship is never the same. Is asking someone out on a formal date a halfway meeting point between a kiss and a confession? Never has worked out. I consider your 'kiss' the same thing as confessing your feelings. I have done both. Confessed feelings and went for the kiss and gotten shot down every time when we're talking about a woman I had actual feelings for. Of course, with the women it has worked out with, I tried to kiss them, there was nothing to confess because I didn't know them that well. It was more like, "You're OK. Let's see if you'll give me a chance and we'll see where this goes." It should be noted that I have made a move on MANY more women that I didn't know that well and been rejected. So to me, your analysis is purely a coincidence. You confessed four times as you illustrated above either with a proactive kiss or confession and won once and lost three times. Rejection ratio of 75% with women you got to know and like over time. Not too shabby I suppose. It doesn't make sense to wait IMO though. Should act faster. Better odds and you'll spare your feelings. Just my opinion though. Edited June 24, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember
Recommended Posts