Obstruction Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Hey guys I'm new here, and I have a problem. There's this girl that I've known for the past 4-5 months, and for about the past 6 weeks we've been talking A LOT. By a lot I mean texting, or facebooking for a couple of hours everyday, and also a lot of webcamming ( our webcamming sessions go on for around 3 hours, and we do them couple of times a week ). She seems interested in me, and opens up to me quite a lot too, but today I came across a problem. We went out for a walk as a group (6 people) today, and she didn't talk to me much at all. I spoke to everyone a great deal, and I even tried sparking conversation with her but I had no luck. However, when we all got home, within a couple of hours she started messaging me on FB. I brought up the fact the we didn't talk much and she just said "we kinda just got busy with other friends" which seems like a bad excuse to me, and at this point I really have no idea on what she is thinking. ____ P.S. This is my first post, and I just wanted to get this off my chest.
Tinie Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Oh that's probably because she got all shy and bashful. I'm a lot more talkative when I'm behind my computer screen versus talking face to face. That's a lot more difficult when I like a guy because I get all nervous. If she spends that much time talking to you, obviously you mean something to her. 3
Author Obstruction Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the insight She also loves telling me that we'll never get close, I think she does it jokingly and she likes to do it quite a lot. Is this a hint that maybe she wants us only to be friends? Or is she trying to convince herself that this is far as it's going to go for us, cause she may like me a little bit? I'm actually very confused because I actually decided not to message her a couple of times but then she always messages me and wants to do a google hangout (webcam). Edited June 24, 2013 by Obstruction
starrynightz45 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Look, if she wasn't into you, there is no way on earth she would spend alllllllll that time texting and face booking you. It's as clear as day. The problem for many people is that it's 10000x easier to communicate and be conversational thru text and Facebook than in person. It's totally different. Also, if she likes you, it totally makes sense that she would be shy around you- hence not so talkative If you really like her, try talking to her more in person. If she's awkward, ignore it. Keep trying to talk. Pretend you don't notice her being nervous/quiet. Slowly she WILL get more comfortable. Trust me, she's into you. 2
MidwestUSA Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 You need to get her out without the group of friends. It could be true that she felt she owed them some time/attention. It could be that she was shy about talking as much with you in their presence. True, no one spends that much time online chatting if they're not interested. Be patient!
Author Obstruction Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 Thanks starrynightz45, and Midwest for your opinions. I've actually thought of just askin her to go to the park as friends, but then I start to think about how that could go wrong if our chemistry doesn't translate. I took time to think about it, and this is actually the second time we've all gone out in a group, and she did the exact same thing the first time. What kinda made me mad yesterday was that after we all came home after the walk, she started to message me again. I mean we were just outside walking for 2 hours and you didn't utter a word to me, but now you wanna talk? I plan on brining this topic up with her jokingly and see what she has to say bout it.
shexy Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 She might have just got shy....do you guys ever see each other in person, or has this been a strictly eletronic relationship up until the walk w/6 friends?
Ripnet Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Ask her to meet and cut down or stop with facebook and camming. 2
Divasu Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Sounds like either she's shy around you in person, or, she's not interested romantically. 1
Author Obstruction Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 To answer Shexys question, yes because we don't really get the chance to meet up during the week, and during the weekends if we go out it's all of us. Yea the same group met up today, and today she was a bit talkative, and even wrestled with me a couple of times. I think Divasu is right in thinking that she isn't romantically interested. (I jokingly slap her head lightly sometimes too but I don't think she likes that too much so I'll stop) I'll also take Ripnets advice on cutting down just talking to her in general. At this point I don't want to get attached to her (even though I already might be) because I don't know what she wants from me.
thefooloftheyear Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 4-5 months is a fairly long amount of time to be with someone yet not know where you stand. I want to say that women(but men do it as well), like to keep someone "on the line" even though they are technically not interested romantically. Most of these people are emotionally needy people and dont actually realize that they are just using the other person for their own "entertainment" while the other person has strong feelings. Its kinda cruel actually... If it were me id have a heart to heart and ask her flat out how she feels. Its better to know now before you get too involved. It will just hurt more later on... TFY 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Does she have a lot going on in her life? She could just be bored and killing time... I have a female friend that I chat online a lot every day for 3 years. Maybe she does the same? 1
Author Obstruction Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 4-5 months is a fairly long amount of time to be with someone yet not know where you stand. I want to say that women(but men do it as well), like to keep someone "on the line" even though they are technically not interested romantically. Most of these people are emotionally needy people and dont actually realize that they are just using the other person for their own "entertainment" while the other person has strong feelings. Its kinda cruel actually... TFY I think at this point that is exactly what's going on. I don't know if in public she just likes to talk to everyone and not to anyone specific, or if she is just shy to talk to me too much. It sucks cause I really can't imagine her being that shy. I kinda sorta have an idea that she wants to be just friends. Eternal Sunshine, I'm pretty sure that she doesn't talk to any other guys, and right now it's summer vacation for us and she just has a part time job. She's called from work once when the place was empty.
Author Obstruction Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 Right now what really bothers me is the fact that when we're out she won't talk to me that much, but once we all get home I get a message from her and she starts talking non stop. I realize that she may want to give time to everyone, but today my friend said something that intrigued me. "Why doesn't she text them, and talk to you more in person?". So I've been wondering about that too. I appreciate all of your guys reponses, thanks for the help
MidwestUSA Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 You're definitely right to cutout the head slapping! Have you tried just touching her lightly on the arm, or taking her hand?
thefooloftheyear Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Have you even kissed this woman?? If she hasnt cozied up enough to kiss you in this amount of time....you are getting your chain yanked... TFY
thefooloftheyear Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 You're definitely right to cutout the head slapping! Have you tried just touching her lightly on the arm, or taking her hand? You mean to tell me you dont like a good head slapping every now and again?? :laugh: .... TFY
Author Obstruction Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 Lol. Midwest, we wrestle with each other so our bodies always touch. But we haven't had anything romantic yet. We just made plans for a huge wrestling match between the 2 of us Thefooloftheyear, she's not really someone who will kiss someone without being in a relationship, and I dont think she's been in a relationship for a while. If you guys are wondering our ages, I'm 19, shes 18.
Author Obstruction Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 Yea, I've confirmed she hasn't been in a relationship for a while
starrynightz45 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 Thanks starrynightz45, and Midwest for your opinions. I've actually thought of just askin her to go to the park as friends, but then I start to think about how that could go wrong if our chemistry doesn't translate. I took time to think about it, and this is actually the second time we've all gone out in a group, and she did the exact same thing the first time. What kinda made me mad yesterday was that after we all came home after the walk, she started to message me again. I mean we were just outside walking for 2 hours and you didn't utter a word to me, but now you wanna talk? I plan on brining this topic up with her jokingly and see what she has to say bout it. I COULD be wrong, but this sounds like total shyness to me. There was a guy I was dating once who started out by texting me. He would message/text me all day, every single day - but when we'd see each other on campus, he'd barely say two words to me. As soon as class was over and we stepped off of campus - BOOM - he was texting/messaging me. The first couple times we hung out in groups, again, he was very quiet with me and spoke to everyone else but me. I thought he wasn't interested and got upset about it. But I liked him, so I tried to start conversation and ignored his behavior. After the first couple times, he stopped. He became much more talkative. For my situation it was purely shyness/fear of making a bad impression in person until eventually he let his guard down. She sounds like she's into you and therefore nervous about talking to you in person. 1
Author Obstruction Posted June 26, 2013 Author Posted June 26, 2013 I guess I'll continue to try to talk to her again. I'm going to try to get her to meet me alone sometime. That'll give me a clue as to what she wants hopefully
starrynightz45 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I guess I'll continue to try to talk to her again. I'm going to try to get her to meet me alone sometime. That'll give me a clue as to what she wants hopefully Absolutely. If she's alone with you, she HAS to talk to you, no excuses. But still, don't be surprised if she's sort of quiet. She's just nervous.
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