Jay15 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I"m not trying to get my ex, but I was wondering if my ex misses or think about me at times. I'm on 42 days of NC:laugh:
BustedUpInside Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 It is impossible to know the answer to that question without breaking NC and therefore setting yourself back to the beginning. I know that answer sucks because, if you're anything like me, not knowing the worst part. Unfortunately, it is one of the steps towards acceptance and you will have to deal with the fact that your ex's actions, thoughts, and desires are no longer things that you can know or worry about. Good luck and congratulations on your 42 days!
Leigh 87 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Not terribly. People tend to miss you more when they are with you every day and you leave for, say, a holiday without them. Once they are living without you for a month or more, they will stop thinking about you as much. 2 or 3 months post break up? Well, they have decided they do not love you enough to seek you out again, therefore the missing you will be a faint after thought. Sorry to break it to you. I am NC yet my ex texts to say he misses me lots. I ignore:laugh: They would think of us from time to time. But not in a romantic sense...
Emilia Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I think it depends on how strong your connection was/is with the person. There is an ex I haven't seen for 3 years and we are in contact sporadically, went for a full year without any. Yet I miss him every day and from what I gather the feeling is mutual. So I guess that's how that particular one will go
Quick_k Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) I want my ex back though What should I do to get her back? Edited June 24, 2013 by Quick_k typo
Renard99 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I want my ex back though What should I do to get her back? Nothing, nothing at all. If she left you then I'm afraid she's made her decision. By trying to change her decision you're trying to change her free will. By going back to her and begging her to come back you will appear needy and weak whilst at the same time giving her all the power. Like Leigh87 says, people only tend to miss something when it's gone. What you need to do is get out of her life and stay out. Don't text, call, email or Facebook message. Avoid places she'll be if you can. If she misses you she'll let you know in time, if she doesn't, then it's no problem as you'll be living life without her anyway. It's hard and harsh but it works. It worked for me. 3
SimonSerenade Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Not contacting somebody isn't a game and it's not going to manipulate your ex to come back to you or miss you I'm afraid, it's simply the only way some people can move on after an important relationship in there life ends, the only thing you might gain from the whole experience is respect from your other half, respect that you gave them space and respect that you left them alone to heal and probably most importantly that you respected the decision that they made was right for them and wasn't an easy decision to make. I know you love her and right now you feel horrible, if she's going to come back she'll do it out of her own decision and not the one you attempt to force upon her with begging and pleading, take some time out for yourself and become a better man, find something to offer her if she ever does come back. In the mean time, move on the best you can and don't beat yourself up too much, if you feel you have something to say to her that can't be left unsaid, say it and move on, don't go down this route until you can live with yourself afterwards for what you did and didn't do. Be respectful and be good to yourself, I'm sure deep down she does miss you right now, she wouldn't be human if she didn't, she has to be strong and so do you, be good to yourself man. 1
maturityassets Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) Would it even matter if they missed you? I mean is them missing you just to make you feel of significance? You don't need someone else to say you mattered. Your relationship mattered because you say it matters. My ex might not miss me but I was the one to convince her to go back to college and improve on her life, am I to believe I didn't matter in her life? That my actions didn't have significance? In the end we are the ones who ask for the NC, I know I did despite the ex's desires. We do this for ourselves! We do this to reflect and to figure out what it means to be an "I" rather than an "us" in this world again. We do this to learn and figure out our limits, why we react the way we do, why are we jealous or sad? We do it to move on! No contact is the best for both parties in the end. Sure there are a few cases where the dumper realizes that they took things for granted and want to come back. Most of the time though, we learn to live with their decision. The break up is the last part of your relationship, its that final part where you respect each other as lovers and accept that one is choosing to go down a different path. So live your life. enjoy =). Day 42 or Day 100, doesn't matter. You are a different person now. Even better than maybe the great person you were in your relationship Edited June 25, 2013 by maturityassets 3
lop98 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Yeah, he/she probably misses you. I know my ex misses me. But are they doing anything about it? no. And most importantly (in my case), does it make a difference? no, can I have a healthy conversation with him? no, do I want him back? no, if we were to get back, would it be different? no, not in the long run. 2
LifeGoesOnMan Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Emotional addiction is the same as physical addiction. The dependencies are physical and emotional. The worse is the emotional because you can't treat an emotional wound the same way you can an physical wound. I have been where you are and know that I will likely be there again. To me, its the same as someone altering your life and your heart knows it. Its the inability to be think and breath at times. It can't be remediated by a pill or wound dressing. The sense of purposes at times feels like your lost. Just wanting to reach out to the other person and be whole again, regardless of the consequences, is very very traumatizing. Time heals and if you are stronger today than you were on day 1, then you know you are making progress. Use resources here to share your pain and grief as it helps to get it out. It also helps to read on coping with NC so you understand that, like so many of us, we long back for what was instead of what really is the truth. Our hearts and minds become clouded when we think we want something in the past when in fact we don't because of the mental exhaustion the relationship really was. So perfect
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