Should I have abortion if husband and I just started working on our marriage again?

[Caro]

Please don't judge me and just give me advice.

 

My husband and I have been together for 4 years, married for 1. I had first abortion bc I got pregnant by him after just being together 3 months. We decided we were not ready. He cheated on me 6 months later d/t stress and him not being able to cope with it. We worked on our relationship, and I got pregnant again. Had second abortion bc we were not financially ready. We got married last year and were ok for 6 months until he got a new stressful position, left me and cheated on me. He recently came back and asked to work on marriage. We had been trying and now I got pregnant again bc I was off the pill after he left. He wants me to have an abortion bc he says he's not even sure about the marriage let alone parenting. I want to keep baby bc I do not want to have to do that a third time and also bc I feel this time I don't know if I will have another chance to have a family with him again and I always wanted to have a child with him. He seems to be going back and forth on our marriage bc of everything that has happened between us. I scheduled the abortion for next week but feel so scared. He won't even take off from work to go w me. I feel alone on this decision. I know my family and his family would support me but I feel like we should focus on us first. But thinking about ending yet another pregnancy hurts.

[Balzac]

The obvious question is are you prepared to be a single parent, possibly w/o his involvement? Possibly w him involving a potential stepmother?

[Tiger Lily]

Should I have abortion if husband and I just started working on our marriage again?

 

No. Adoption is a much better alternative if you don't think you can provide a stable life, imo.

[eleve82]

He won't even take time off to go with you -- that says EVERYTHING. You can spend years on this guy and he will not change. Cut him out of your life, MOVE ON. When someone doesn't even care for your well-being, your health, you need to drop him like hot bricks (same for a girl).

 

The only question you need to deal with is your baby - you should assume you will be alone (its clear that you are effectively alone), whether you can be a responsible parent. That should be your first and foremost concern. If you do decide to abort for the third time, never ever make the mistake of going off birth control again, for your own sake.

[skydiveaddict]

But thinking about ending yet another pregnancy hurts.

 

That's because killing a baby bothers you. It's wrong and you know it. That's why it hurts.

[Emilia]

Please don't judge me and just give me advice.

 

My husband and I have been together for 4 years, married for 1. I had first abortion bc I got pregnant by him after just being together 3 months. We decided we were not ready. He cheated on me 6 months later d/t stress and him not being able to cope with it. We worked on our relationship, and I got pregnant again. Had second abortion bc we were not financially ready. We got married last year and were ok for 6 months until he got a new stressful position, left me and cheated on me. He recently came back and asked to work on marriage. We had been trying and now I got pregnant again bc I was off the pill after he left. He wants me to have an abortion bc he says he's not even sure about the marriage let alone parenting. I want to keep baby bc I do not want to have to do that a third time and also bc I feel this time I don't know if I will have another chance to have a family with him again and I always wanted to have a child with him. He seems to be going back and forth on our marriage bc of everything that has happened between us. I scheduled the abortion for next week but feel so scared. He won't even take off from work to go w me. I feel alone on this decision. I know my family and his family would support me but I feel like we should focus on us first. But thinking about ending yet another pregnancy hurts.

 

OP, the real issue is that you are with a man who is not committed to your marriage. Just read your post. How many more abortions are you prepared to have? To stay with some guy who doesn't even want you and keeps running off with other women? What kind of relationship is this?

 

You obviously don't trust him OP

[Balzac]

I scheduled the abortion for next week but feel so scared

 

Can you say more about your fear? Without putting words in your mouth: your story reads as if your fear is about the impending demise of your marriage. That you believe you have only THIS pregnancy to validate your marriage, it may be all you have of your husband, once he's gone from your marriage.

 

Will this be a chemical abortion?

[GuyInLimbo]

I don't know if I will have another chance to have a family with him again and I always wanted to have a child with him.

 

So, you're married to a guy who has ALREADY cheated on you multiple times because he's an immature doucheb*g, yet you dream of having a family with him? Wow, do you need a wake-up call. You actually see a future for you two? Honestly? You need to grow up NOW.

 

Second question, do you know what birth control is and how to use it? I'm being serious, as you clearly have an issue with getting prego at bad times and with a bad person. It's fairly simple to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

 

How old are you?

[pink_sugar]

If you're having a baby just because you want a baby with him, that's not a good reason to have the baby considering your relationship is on the rocks and has been for awhile. It sounds like this man will never change and if you do keep the baby, you must be prepared to be a single mother. Otherwise, do not bring a child into this chaos. A baby will not bring you back together and from the sounds of it, will probably be a means to an end of this relationship. I really am surprised how one could have so many accidental pregnancies in such a short time though, were you being consistent with BC?