TheBladeRunner Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 The day has finally arrived, tomorrow morning I will be officially divorced 10 months after DDay. I can't say it's really what I wanted, but some things just cannot be changed. My "Really" STBXW had numerous emotional affairs and yo be quite honest, it was me who decided that it was over. I can't tell you how many times I woke up in my crappy "newly separated guy" apartment wanting to return to my old life......not her, my old life. There is a lot to be said for this as I had more than one opportunity to return home, but I knew that when the circle of trust was broken I could never return to things being as they were before; I knew I would never trust her again. Like I was saying, I missed my old life. I will always miss seeing my daughter every night, but I have her 50% of the time and that will be OK too. I miss living in a house with a garage, but I can buy one of those later down the line. I moved out of the crappy apartment, and I miss my friends I made there, but they will visit often.....my new place has a hot tub and a pool . I miss being self employed, but the income was up and down. I have a "grown up" job now and I am thankful they hired me. For a "big 4" telecom company, the crew I am on is an awesome bunch. I'm having a ball and making new friends. All the above I struggled with at first, but in the end, for what I was going through, it has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. With all the big changes, I never really missed her. I knew at one point I loved her, but I guess the EA's emptied me out. What's my point with this? My point is that if I had gone back, it would have been for all the wrong reasons. The old friends are still there and I have made some really good new ones. The stuff, the job, and the place to live can all be replaced. My goal for this whole process was to get to a point of complete indifference and I am very pleased to honestly say that I am there for the most part. No more arguments, my child does not have to bear witness to horrible arguments, and although she and I are not "BFF", we have a working relationship. My life is nothing like it was 10 months ago, it is 99% different. Tomorrow morning it will officially be 100% different and as I continue to heal and change that percentage will (hopefully) go even higher. Thanks for reading this, I just needed to babble a bit to get it out! 3
Balzac Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Congrats on regrouping. Congrats on getting to the big day. 1
health Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Heal well. The reason I left my ex because she emotionally cheated 3 times. By the third, I couldn't take it and left her. A few days later she ended up getting with him. It's been a few years since I broke up with her. I'm good, but sometimes I can't understand how she can rebound so quick - it was like a slap in the face of what we created together. Oh well, on to a new life 1
marqueemoon4 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Well you seem to have a good attitude about it. And you're lucky you're getting 50/50 custody. I don't know though, ultimately it's going to suck for your daughter. But you seem ok with that. But in your situation, if she really did cheat on you numerous times I guess there is no way to ever trust that person again. Best of luck to you. Edited June 24, 2013 by marqueemoon4
Caldespair Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Bravo blade on the good place you are in. I'm six months sep, d,at this pace, could be 2 years from now. I wish my sbxw was amicable with the process. She wanted me out our garaged house after argument. Like u I miss my kids and seeing them every day. I don't love my temp condo. Condo nice but I am horrendous at keeping my place tidy and stalked with staples. I am busier then ever, reconnecting w old friends, golfing and less emphasis on making $$, I've learned that model I had, working hard at my business for the reasons of my immediate family, is a broken model. I'm trying to enjoy life more, worry about myself first, This was never a path I would have chosen, but all the same I must man up and deal with the new normal. Blade, good job! 1
worldgonewrong Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Blade- Keep doing the best that you can do; that's all one can expect/work for in this Life. As long as your kiddo has your love, that's the main thing. 1
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