apbrdjsv Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) I started to look up relationship advice a while ago online, and this website was very helpful to me. So I thought someone here might be able to help, but also that I could help out this board by adding my own story. I (29) have been with my girlfriend (26) for nearly 7 years. We have been really good together, we never argue, we get along great. Over the last year or two, our relationship slowly slid into a rut. We became more like good friends that live together than partners. She started to suffer from grass is greener, and has wanted to go on a break. These thoughts have been in her head for a year or so that I know of. She was fairly open with me about this, but I'm an idiot and mostly just ignored the problem. (even though I thought a break could be a good idea for her, the thought of her dating other guys just hurt and I was far too scared of loosing her to agree to it) We had both stopped really hanging out with any of or friends. We mostly just got into a routine of going to work, coming home, 'hanging out' and going to sleep, with the occasional root. A couple of months ago, she changed jobs, and started to become friends with her new co-workers. They would go out for drinks every week. She cheated on my with a two different guys, two weeks in a row while out drinking. It's weird, but I don't actually mind that she had sex with them, because it was purely sex, nothing emotional, it just hurts me that she did it behind my back. She didn't tell me straight away, but when I asked her (I had a feeling) she did tell me and was pretty open about it. This kinda snapped me out of my couple of years of depression though, I decided I had to stop ignoring it all, and have really decided I need to become a better person, for her, if we stay together, but regardless for myself. I think she was ready to move out, and cheated on me as a way to allow her to do that. Since then I have really been trying to change myself, back to how I used to be, and for the better in future, and I have been feeling a lot better about myself. I have opened up a lot with her, and we have had a few big talks, about various things. But from here I am not sure what to do. We both still love each other very much, although she still doesn't want to sleep with me at the moment. (I think in her mind if she does, that will be her giving up on the idea of being able to move out, and being stuck again. It feels like she is trying to hold herself back from anything physical, I feel she doesn't really know what she wants to do) (I have always been a horn-dog, but am trying not to grope her too much:laugh: ) She said over the last few weeks, things between us have gotten better, and now she is confused, and doesn't know if she wants to move out and have a break, or not anymore. I would love if I could just let her go, and let her do her own thing for a while, but that thought makes me have palpitations! Packing up all my stuff and just leaving, asking her to marry me, discussing an open relationship, all these thoughts have gone through my head, I'm really confused, what is the best thing to do, for both of us? Edited June 24, 2013 by apbrdjsv
denxnis Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 It's over. Time to grow a spine and get some self confidence, just reading this made me bang my head against the keyboard. I was "O.K" with her having sex with someone else. Even if you accepted it no woman could respect a guy like that. If you need any advice or just feel like talking about moving on I'm here man, but I can 100% without a doubt guarantee you that whatever you had with this girl will no longer work. 1
Author apbrdjsv Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 She had been talking about G.I.G.S and feeling like getting with with other guys when she has been drinking, for a while now. Maybe I'm weird, but I have never really had a problem with the idea of her sleeping with anyone else. There is a difference though, I mean I never had a problem with the idea of her '****ing' anyone else, if she went out and 'made love' to someone, that would be different.
aloneinaz Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 She had been talking about G.I.G.S and feeling like getting with with other guys when she has been drinking, for a while now. Maybe I'm weird, but I have never really had a problem with the idea of her sleeping with anyone else. There is a difference though, I mean I never had a problem with the idea of her '****ing' anyone else, if she went out and 'made love' to someone, that would be different. Maybe you should join a swinger forum and ask these questions there. I'd say MOST if not ALL the regulars on this site would find their loved one screwing someone else a deal breaker. OMG.. There's NOTHING left to talk about at that point. I'd get my stuff and be GONE.. 1
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