Estranged Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Hello, It's been a while since I posted on this forum. Anyway, there's this girl that I've sort of got involved with and don't really know what's up with her or what to do. Here's the nitty-gritty of how things went between her and me until now: - She's been vying for my attention for months (borderline stalking at school and work, coming to talk to me every time, and asking me for my number) until I actually got to like her; I had reasons to believe she was playing me for more nefarious reasons, but it turned out that I was wrong. Either way, I actually liked the fact she was 'stalking' me. - At some point during school, I asked her out for coffee but declined, saying she wasn't free at the proposed time. She still kept 'stalking' me. - At some points during work, she would touch me and pretend she was working there too (I worked in customer service). To be fair, I also got physical with her and she seemed to like it. - Now that we're both on holidays, I asked her out again for coffee but said she wasn't free. I did see her the very next day and the day after, and started texting each other. - She admitted to me well later on that she never had a boyfriend before, allegedly by choice and not because of her religion - to paraphrase her, she could have done it in secret if she wanted to. - I tried calling her yesterday but got her voicemail and left her a really brief message (that it's me, and that I'll call her at another time). I meant to say that I would talk to her another time but said 'call' instead. The first and only time I tried calling her, I got to her voicemail too but didn't leave a message that time. She never acknowledged that call the next times I saw her in person. So I just thought she didn't have Caller ID. Coz she would always apologize the few times she wasnt responding to my texts. So my question is: what now? Should I try calling her again? If so, when? Thanks
CC12 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 You've asked her out twice now and both times, she's said no. I don't know what you mean when you say she's "vying for your attention" and "stalking" you, but the fact that she has never actually gone on a date with you should not be ignored. That's significant. You left her a voicemail, so the ball is in her court now. If she wants to pursue something with you, she'll contact you. You did your part, now leave it alone and try to forget about her. If she calls you, let it be a pleasant surprise that you weren't expecting because you have moved on. 1
Author Estranged Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) Fair enough. I'm just not sure what to make of her prior behaviour though. She did ask me, in the same convo where she admitted never having a bf before, if I was gay and if I currently had a gf. But yeah, screw her if she's ain't doing ****. Edited June 24, 2013 by Estranged
Author Estranged Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) <Threads merged by moderation> So as a follow-up to this post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/403580-calling-her I did get a hold of her by text, the only way I can expect a reply from her when she isn't on FB chat. I straight up proposed to meet and asked about her schedule; the previous times I asked her out I wasn't really considerate of her schedule. So at first, she seems receptive of the idea and said she'd get back to me when she'd get her schedule, but that she also was basically not available that weekend (she has a PT job, I currently don't work). And then radio silence. Because I had nothing else to lose at that point, I checked in on her a few days later. No reply. I was at least expecting a 'No I'm not free' or something like that. What's the deal with her?! Did I get used?! Edited July 1, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
clia Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 She's not interested. You've tried numerous times and she has always said no. Thus, move on. 1
JustAReformedGirl Posted July 1, 2013 Posted July 1, 2013 I can understand your confusion: in your OP in the previous thread, she was persistently pursuing you. I didn't read further than that, sorry. I wonder why she suddenly went cold? Maybe she's one of those types that enjoys the "thrill of the hunt", so to speak? If so, once you gave in, she may have lost interest. It could also be that she still hasn't figured out when she's available to meet up with you. Give her a few more days, in which you can try to contact her at the end of those few days. Don't badger her too much, because she might become annoyed with it (of course, you wouldn't feel the need to, if she'd give you a straight answer).
Author Estranged Posted July 1, 2013 Author Posted July 1, 2013 (edited) I left out a detail which I think is important now: we attended the same school. We're on holidays now so that's why I resort to texting her most of the time. But when we would meet in person it would be at school while I was working. She's not interested. You've tried numerous times and she has always said no. Thus, move on. Fair enough. I can understand your confusion: in your OP in the previous thread, she was persistently pursuing you. I didn't read further than that, sorry. I wonder why she suddenly went cold? Maybe she's one of those types that enjoys the "thrill of the hunt", so to speak? If so, once you gave in, she may have lost interest. It could also be that she still hasn't figured out when she's available to meet up with you. Give her a few more days, in which you can try to contact her at the end of those few days. Don't badger her too much, because she might become annoyed with it (of course, you wouldn't feel the need to, if she'd give you a straight answer). Meh, I'll go with the first scenario. She did enjoy nagging me at work, and certainly didn't complain when I would get touchy feely with her. She did that with me too. I did give her a few more days before checking in on her again. Radio silence again. I don't see how she used you when she didn't really get anything from you except for some fleeting moments of attention. If (and that's a big IF) that's what she was looking for, then I suppose she used you in that way but I can't be certain from this or the other thread if it's not a matter of your perception of events being wrong. Perhaps you read into things? If she was truly "borderline stalking" you and the like I find it odd that she's now pulling away, however you should really be taking the hint by now. She's declined your offer to go out more than once now and doesn't seem too keen on spending any meaningful time with you any time soon. You should probably just let this thing die. Well I never asked her to come nag me at work or elsewhere. There was that one time where I would be having coffee with a friend and she would just come take a seat with us uninvited. There have also been instances of her asking my colleagues where I was when I wasn't working/hadn't arrived yet. Maybe I still read into things. But I'm not sure why she would behave like that in the first place. I really wished she'd left me alone all along. Edited July 1, 2013 by Estranged
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