brokenwingz Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 My ex and I split 3 yrs ago he was the dumper GIGS and recently been talking but he has alot of things going on in his personal/family life and He says I was great and we had an amazing relationship, he regrets and is sorry for what happened in the past...but he is not ready for a meaningful relationship or friendship with anyone he will let me know when he is ready..as much as I want him me waiting feels like a waste like a fool. Is this what he is asking? Does he still feel it too?
Million.to.1 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 You've been waiting for a 2nd chance for 3 years??!!?!!!?! Good God woman! Time to move on! Stop talking to him. He doesn't want to be with you and has made that clear both now and in the past. Your wasting your life! You need to go NC again if you haven't moved on yet. 1
Author brokenwingz Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 You've been waiting for a 2nd chance for 3 years??!!?!!!?! Good God woman! Time to move on! Stop talking to him. He doesn't want to be with you and has made that clear both now and in the past. Your wasting your life! You need to go NC again if you haven't moved on yet. LOL No I have not been waiting 3 years at all I actually was in a LT relationship after him. It just so happens we both are single again.
StrongLass Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 ...but he is not ready for a meaningful relationship or friendship with anyone he will let me know when he is ready.. "When he's ready" could mean anywhere from tomorrow to forever so don't wait around for him. There are plenty of men out there who WOULD want to seriously commit to you. (even when it doesn't seem like it) Go find THOSE men. as much as I want him me waiting feels like a waste like a fool. It should. NO MAN who really is in love with you would have you waiting around. If by some miracle he does decide he wants you again he'll move mountains to get you back. Anything less is crumbs & BS. 2
BustedUpInside Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I agree with the previous posters. I mean if he was asking you to wait for something specific (i.e a temporary job, or some other bonafide excuse) then maybe I could see giving him a predetermined amount of time to get his stuff together in anticipation of a reconciliation. However, what is going to change between now and and the future? Why would he suddenly be ready? I think that he needs you as an emotional crutch right now, but knows that he won't ever want to be in a relationship, so he tells you what you want to hear so that you won't leave him. I doubt he is being mean on purpose, but the result is still the same. Your life is put on hold to help his move forward. That is not good enough for you! 1
aisuru Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 He's just being nice, unfairly so. What he really means is he has put to bed whatever the two of you had. He'll never have those feelings again. So, you should probably not hold out for a second chance. I am surprised that 3 years later, you're open to a second chance. EVERY. SINGLE. EX. of mine has been back in contact with me either months or years later. By the time they've reconnected with me, I've had zero feelings. Zilch, nada, none. So even when they said things very similar to what you're hearing now, I didn't really care. Please take care of yourself and tread lightly. You are at risk of opening old heart wounds here... 2
hoping2heal Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 My ex and I split 3 yrs ago he was the dumper GIGS and recently been talking but he has alot of things going on in his personal/family life and He says I was great and we had an amazing relationship, he regrets and is sorry for what happened in the past...but he is not ready for a meaningful relationship or friendship with anyone he will let me know when he is ready..as much as I want him me waiting feels like a waste like a fool. Is this what he is asking? Does he still feel it too? He sounds like he thinks he's doing you some kind of favor by pumping you full of the nice things. Look, people do anything when they're in love. Wether it's smart or not, against the odds, against wisdom, you name it. When they're in love they do it. They don't let anything stop it. If a person is in love with you and wants you back then personal/life/family/etc. doesn't stop them. Words are meaningless without action behind them. It isn't right but some people would rather pump you full of compliments thinking they're somehow being kind and softening the blow. Instead, they end up confusing the person who now thinks they've got a shot.
Author brokenwingz Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 He sounds like he thinks he's doing you some kind of favor by pumping you full of the nice things. Look, people do anything when they're in love. Wether it's smart or not, against the odds, against wisdom, you name it. When they're in love they do it. They don't let anything stop it. If a person is in love with you and wants you back then personal/life/family/etc. doesn't stop them. Words are meaningless without action behind them. It isn't right but some people would rather pump you full of compliments thinking they're somehow being kind and softening the blow. Instead, they end up confusing the person who now thinks they've got a shot. After some thought this weekend I totally agree and in fact am sick by the thought of being an option or back up plan. I deserve better. The only reason I thought he was not ready to even be friendly/cordial is due to the following reasons..His childs mother left him and has a new man(custody issues), He has a drug addiction he is battling, and financial issues. He feels he would not be good as a friend/bf until this is settled. But even with that (which I dont need in my life) I would have been open to occassional talk but I really opened my eyes and see I am not important enough and will not wait til he wants it its just unfair. 1
Z33 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) hope things go well for you brokenwingz. Edited June 24, 2013 by Z33
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