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Does it seem like everyone around you instantaneously finds relationships?

ls32ssibm

By ls32ssibm
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ls32ssibm Established Member

ls32ssibm

Posted
Posted

I've been told, I'm good looking, yadda yadda...

 

 

Anyway, I go months without dates and years without relationships (thus far anyway, I'm 25).

 

 

But, it seems like everyone I know (including Facebook friends) perpetually go from relationship to relationship. I know very few single people at any given moment.

 

Is this is case for anyone else?

Sarabi Established Member

Sarabi

Posted
Posted
I've been told, I'm good looking, yadda yadda...

 

 

Anyway, I go months without dates and years without relationships (thus far anyway, I'm 25).

 

 

But, it seems like everyone I know (including Facebook friends) perpetually go from relationship to relationship. I know very few single people at any given moment.

 

Is this is case for anyone else?

 

Yes. It certainly feels like it anyway.

Ryan R. Established Member

Ryan R.

Posted
Posted
I've been told, I'm good looking, yadda yadda...

 

 

Anyway, I go months without dates and years without relationships (thus far anyway, I'm 25).

 

 

But, it seems like everyone I know (including Facebook friends) perpetually go from relationship to relationship. I know very few single people at any given moment.

 

Is this is case for anyone else?

 

Yeah... story of my life. :(

MrTurk Established Member

MrTurk

Posted
Posted
I've been told, I'm good looking, yadda yadda...

 

 

Anyway, I go months without dates and years without relationships (thus far anyway, I'm 25).

 

 

But, it seems like everyone I know (including Facebook friends) perpetually go from relationship to relationship. I know very few single people at any given moment.

 

Is this is case for anyone else?

 

 

 

I go years between relationships. I've never "dated" people. Every women I have ever gone on a date with has turned into a long-term relationship.

 

 

Many people date others, or jump into relationships because they usually cant handle being alone, cant live without sex, cant live without bossing someone around, need to boost their ego, etc, etc.

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
I've been told, I'm good looking, yadda yadda...

 

 

Anyway, I go months without dates and years without relationships (thus far anyway, I'm 25).

 

 

But, it seems like everyone I know (including Facebook friends) perpetually go from relationship to relationship. I know very few single people at any given moment.

 

Is this is case for anyone else?

 

They're always on the market even when they are in a relationship. That is where the 'guy friends' and 'gal pals' or whatever come in. As soon as they are out of one they hit up someone else. There's no big mystery to it.

hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
One of my oldest childhood friends is like that. He's married now, but he was never single for more than a few weeks between 16 and 30. His whole life was about assessing all his female friends and determining their 'girlfriend' status. Whenever he sees me, the first question he asks is "Are you seeing someone?"

 

I love your avatar and yes I know someone just like that. And yes he's married now too, maybe 3rd times the charm (by age 30). All of his wives have been relatively nice people he just has no ambition and gets married for all the wrong reasons.

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

No, actually, about 1/3rd of the people I know (probably more) are single and quite happy.

 

Months without someone isn't really a big deal.

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
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Indeed it does feel like this! Was single for 6 years with 3 dates during that time.

 

Meanwhile all my best friends are in happy long term relationships. And on the rare occasions those relationships end, within days men are bombarding them with date offers (poor girls, all they want is time to heal) and within maybe 2 months have found a new relationship which lasts for quite a decent amount of time. None of them ever struggle. And they're lovely girls, but I am stumped at HOW they do this. It's effortless, it's inate. Meanwhile I fail at it....

 

 

And then there are the people who are not my friends but an acquaintance or friend of friend, people who (god forbid I sound so callous) really are not great people in my eyes. People who are mean-spirited, ignorant or unintelligent, along with also being kind of physically unattractive. Sure if I know people who struggle in the looks department but are kind and wonderful humans, I feel happy for them. But to see humans who act nasty have so much success and have men relentlessly pursue them and they have WONDERFUL men who treat them wonderfully and then they treat that man like garbage... it makes me wanna tear my hair out. Men who I would date in a heartbeat, who I would be so appreciative of... I wanna scream at them "HEY!!! Why are you with a girl who treats you so terribly!?! Why don't you want to be with a girl like me? I'm here and willing, give me just one chance!" - but of course, shouting something like that for all the world to hear would be ridiculous. But the thought does cross my mind.

 

 

Gah, I hate having this bitterness =/

  • Like 1
MrTurk Established Member

MrTurk

Posted
Posted
but of course, shouting something like that for all the world to hear would be ridiculous. But the thought does cross my mind.

 

 

 

Never fear your own tongue

  • Like 1
hppr Established Member

hppr

Posted
Posted
HEY!!! Why are you with a girl who treats you so terribly!?! Why don't you want to be with a girl like me? I'm here and willing, give me just one chance!

 

When I was single and desperate I ended up dating this girl who was rather unattractive and a shrew but I went out with her anyways, even moved in together(MISTAKE!). Later on I found out several girls I knew at work were all thinking exactly what you posted but none of them spoke up. Would have made my day if they did.

  • Like 1
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
When I was single and desperate I ended up dating this girl who was rather unattractive and a shrew but I went out with her anyways, even moved in together(MISTAKE!). Later on I found out several girls I knew at work were all thinking exactly what you posted but none of them spoke up. Would have made my day if they did.

 

 

 

Well, I did try it, just once... ended horribly. Learned a valuable lesson about not interfering in a relationship. No matter how much that man may complain about how unhappy he is in that relationship...

 

 

eesh. embarrassing lol.

LOSTnMT Established Member

LOSTnMT

Posted
Posted
Indeed it does feel like this! Was single for 6 years with 3 dates during that time.

 

Meanwhile all my best friends are in happy long term relationships. And on the rare occasions those relationships end, within days men are bombarding them with date offers (poor girls, all they want is time to heal) and within maybe 2 months have found a new relationship which lasts for quite a decent amount of time. None of them ever struggle. And they're lovely girls, but I am stumped at HOW they do this. It's effortless, it's inate. Meanwhile I fail at it....

 

 

And then there are the people who are not my friends but an acquaintance or friend of friend, people who (god forbid I sound so callous) really are not great people in my eyes. People who are mean-spirited, ignorant or unintelligent, along with also being kind of physically unattractive. Sure if I know people who struggle in the looks department but are kind and wonderful humans, I feel happy for them. But to see humans who act nasty have so much success and have men relentlessly pursue them and they have WONDERFUL men who treat them wonderfully and then they treat that man like garbage... it makes me wanna tear my hair out. Men who I would date in a heartbeat, who I would be so appreciative of... I wanna scream at them "HEY!!! Why are you with a girl who treats you so terribly!?! Why don't you want to be with a girl like me? I'm here and willing, give me just one chance!" - but of course, shouting something like that for all the world to hear would be ridiculous. But the thought does cross my mind.

 

 

Gah, I hate having this bitterness =/

 

 

This is pure gold because it is so much like how I feel about things. You are a wise one Phoe and if that is really you in your avatar, I really doubt you have that much trouble getting dates, you are quite stunning. Like my friend Jamey always says, "Don't be bitter.....be better!"

  • Like 1
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
This is pure gold because it is so much like how I feel about things. You are a wise one Phoe and if that is really you in your avatar, I really doubt you have that much trouble getting dates, you are quite stunning. Like my friend Jamey always says, "Don't be bitter.....be better!"

 

Thanks! Yeah that's me in the avatar :)

 

 

Can't get dates cause guys always friendzone me. I'm quirky nerdy Phoe who plays video games and talks sports with them, not desirable gf material Phoe.

 

 

"Don't be bitter... be better!" - such wonderful words, I try to keep this attitude in my mind at all times! :)

  • Like 1
Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted
Indeed it does feel like this! Was single for 6 years with 3 dates during that time.

 

Meanwhile all my best friends are in happy long term relationships. And on the rare occasions those relationships end, within days men are bombarding them with date offers (poor girls, all they want is time to heal) and within maybe 2 months have found a new relationship which lasts for quite a decent amount of time. None of them ever struggle. And they're lovely girls, but I am stumped at HOW they do this. It's effortless, it's inate. Meanwhile I fail at it....

 

 

And then there are the people who are not my friends but an acquaintance or friend of friend, people who (god forbid I sound so callous) really are not great people in my eyes. People who are mean-spirited, ignorant or unintelligent, along with also being kind of physically unattractive. Sure if I know people who struggle in the looks department but are kind and wonderful humans, I feel happy for them. But to see humans who act nasty have so much success and have men relentlessly pursue them and they have WONDERFUL men who treat them wonderfully and then they treat that man like garbage... it makes me wanna tear my hair out. Men who I would date in a heartbeat, who I would be so appreciative of... I wanna scream at them "HEY!!! Why are you with a girl who treats you so terribly!?! Why don't you want to be with a girl like me? I'm here and willing, give me just one chance!" - but of course, shouting something like that for all the world to hear would be ridiculous. But the thought does cross my mind.

 

 

Gah, I hate having this bitterness =/

 

Sorry to hear this, Phoe.

 

Honestly, you don't come across as bitter at all to me; in fact, the single guy whom I'd pair you with if I could, on LS, would be ThaWholigan. :laugh: Both of you sound like remarkably grounded and nice, kind individuals. It's really a myth that people in Rs are in any way better persons, if anyone even believed such a silly thing to begin with.

 

Having read many of your posts, I want to ask: have you ever thought that you might be a little, well, over-accommodating? It sounds really bad, but I know a girl who's been single all her 26 years, and is probably one of the nicest people I've ever known. She's the kind of person who will always take your shift if you ask her to, do lots of things for guys if they even so much as ask her, and she currently stays with a male housemate whom she splits rent with, does all the housework for, drives him around wherever he wants... and he dates other girls instead. :o

 

I think that many men innately want a little bit of a challenge. I don't mean that you should be a bitch, ignore calls, never reciprocate, etc - but don't be like the girl above either, y'know?

Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
Sorry to hear this, Phoe.

 

Honestly, you don't come across as bitter at all to me; in fact, the single guy whom I'd pair you with if I could, on LS, would be ThaWholigan. :laugh: Both of you sound like remarkably grounded and nice, kind individuals. It's really a myth that people in Rs are in any way better persons, if anyone even believed such a silly thing to begin with.

 

Having read many of your posts, I want to ask: have you ever thought that you might be a little, well, over-accommodating? It sounds really bad, but I know a girl who's been single all her 26 years, and is probably one of the nicest people I've ever known. She's the kind of person who will always take your shift if you ask her to, do lots of things for guys if they even so much as ask her, and she currently stays with a male housemate whom she splits rent with, does all the housework for, drives him around wherever he wants... and he dates other girls instead. :o

 

I think that many men innately want a little bit of a challenge. I don't mean that you should be a bitch, ignore calls, never reciprocate, etc - but don't be like the girl above either, y'know?

 

 

 

I do sometimes find myself being slightly over-accomodating and I have to stop myself... for the most part my guys friends know they can count on me to help out but they know I'll get sassy if they overstep it.

 

 

Can't deny that I'm naturally giving though. Just gotta hope I find someone who appreciates it and doesn't abuse it.

 

 

And thank you for the comparison with ThaWholigan, he's great! I love reading his posts

  • Like 1
ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

Posted
Posted
I do sometimes find myself being slightly over-accomodating and I have to stop myself... for the most part my guys friends know they can count on me to help out but they know I'll get sassy if they overstep it.

 

 

Can't deny that I'm naturally giving though. Just gotta hope I find someone who appreciates it and doesn't abuse it.

 

 

And thank you for the comparison with ThaWholigan, he's great! I love reading his posts

 

I'm sure you will find someone one day. You are a wonderful woman, definitely the kind of woman that I can't find down here in Jacksonville so, at this point, I'm not even concerned with dating at this point. Just going to clean up this mess I got myself into and then maybe I would date someone in the near future.....or maybe not.

 

By then, I would have got so used to being single and a virgin that I just don't need a companion anymore. I already feeling that way right now.

  • Like 1
Phoe Established Member

Phoe

Posted
Posted
I'm sure you will find someone one day. You are a wonderful woman, definitely the kind of woman that I can't find down here in Jacksonville so, at this point, I'm not even concerned with dating at this point. Just going to clean up this mess I got myself into and then maybe I would date someone in the near future.....or maybe not.

 

By then, I would have got so used to being single and a virgin that I just don't need a companion anymore. I already feeling that way right now.

 

 

 

Keep your head up :) can never go wrong with focusing on yourself!

ltjg45 Established Member

ltjg45

Posted
Posted
Keep your head up :) can never go wrong with focusing on yourself!

 

Well, maybe I can if I get this job at Wal-Mart tomorrow.

 

That is all I can worry about now. Nothing else truly matters.

 

On either case: I do wish you a good night, Phoe. :)

  • Like 1
LOSTnMT Established Member

LOSTnMT

Posted
Posted

I am very picky about who my friends are and the ones I hold the closest I have known for decades. One of my best friends I have known from college and another guy he works with are both great guys that would do anything for you.

 

There are times that I get pissed at them both because of the way they treat their GF and wife. Its shocking to me that they get away with it. Most relationships I have been in would have been in a knockdown drag out if I treated them the way they do. They just get gal after gal and I dont get it.

 

I have always been very respectful, honest and caring, just the way my parents raised me. I treat people/women the way I want to be treated.

tbf Established Member

tbf

Posted
Posted

Does it matter what other people do? Are people in relationships somehow disadvantaging people who can't?

mw_75 New Member

mw_75

Posted
Posted

The friends immediately about me date in cycles. They don’t perpetually date the same people, of course, but they enter into relationships that are basically equivalent to their prior ones.

 

I’ve answered this question for myself like this:

 

I would much rather wait for the stoplight to change on a road leading to something new, than confine myself to a roundabout just to stay in motion.

 

Both will occupy your time, however: I wouldn’t want to be tooling around in a roundabout if the stoplight I’ve been waiting on were to suddenly turn green.

 

Just a thought.

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