Finality338 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Well thank you to the anonymity of the Internet, I feel a little more comfortable asking about this online. I just broke it off with my girlfriend earlier this week, I don't necessarily care to go into details but the relationship was extremely unhealthy. As a result I have lost basically everyone in my life because of how controlling she was. If anyone wouldn't mind sharing their personal experiences I would be extremely grateful. I have so much spare time to myself now and I could really use some new friends as a distraction, but it seems way too early to be looking for any sort of rebound.
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Similarly, I joined this site recently too, for the same reasons. Anonymity, and the need to speak to others, and realize I'm not so alone. May I ask why everyone else in your life has decided to step out on you? It doesn't seem fair to me; that just because you acknowledged your relationship was unhealthy, that they're punishing you for it. Okay, I'll give a basic run-down of my own issue. I warn you, it's a complete clusterf*ck. So, I've been with the same man for 8 1/2 years, not. In December 2012, we tied the knot. This was extremely poor timing on our part. Here's why. -For one, the better majority of our relationship has been a struggle. Emotionally and physically, I'm not that attached to him. This feeling resulted in breaking up at our 4 year and 6 year mark. -Being very confused emotionally (and still having to interact often, due to our daughter) I had a very difficult time during the break-ups...even though I initiated them. At no point during the break-ups did I do anything with anyone else; I had an interest in someone else, but I knew they didn't feel the same way, and with time, I lost those feelings for them. -So, upon hitting our six years, and a month after getting back together, my then fiancé awoke in someone else's bed. He had been several hours away due to military training, had gone to the bar with friends who lost track of him. He was black out drunk, so to this day, we have no idea whether he actually did anything with this woman, or not. He told me instantly, and told me to treat it as if he did. I bore some anger, but got over it quickly. -Seven years into our relationship (I have moved from our hometown several months ago by this time, since his career posted us at a base five hours away), I got back in contact with an old friend. After a few months or so, we both confess to feelings for each other. A few months later, we plan a one-time-only deal. I won't go into all the reasoning, but there you have it. So, to make a long story short, this affair has gone on for a year. More through texts and emotions than physical, but physical has occurred more than that one time. Yes, I feel guilty. If I could go back, I'd avoid the affair. That being said, I don't fully regret that this has been an eye-opener for me. Now, the infidelity aside, my husband knows how I feel about my friend, and there is talk of divorce, if things don't change. I know the grass isn't greener with my AP. I'm well aware of his character flaws, and the enormity of the task before me, if and when divorce comes about. I'll be leaving a much more comfortable lifestyle, for a more complicated one...but, I cant's stay, just to keep my husband and my daughter happy. In fact, my unhappiness will negatively impact them. I don't blame my spouse for my unhappiness; I know it's to do with me. So, that's it, to summarize.
Author Finality338 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 In the past two years life just sort of passed me by, I still have my closest friends growing up but everyone else was basically forced out of my life by my girlfriend. Everyone else I simply never made contact with because I didn't want to cause problems. It is my own fault for being so blind to what was really going on, and missing all the warning signs. By the way, thank you for sharing. Was there ever a single defining moment that opened you eyes and made you realize that you had to quit pleasing everyone else so that you could be happy? Or was it sort of gradual over the years?
Sneaky Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 You don't need to go out immediately, though it does help to keep your mind off things. Personally I've been reading, working out, watching a lot of tv shows, working etc. since I'm not really the going out type myself. Just find something you loved to do before and pick it up again or focus on improving yourself in some other way. 2
Author Finality338 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 You don't need to go out immediately, though it does help to keep your mind off things. Personally I've been reading, working out, watching a lot of tv shows, working etc. since I'm not really the going out type myself. Just find something you loved to do before and pick it up again or focus on improving yourself in some other way. Thanks, I think reading a book and watching some TV actually doesn't sound too bad. I have like this... I don't know... It's a weird feeling. I really don't feel like I need to go out, but I feel like I have to be at least talking to someone. Yet the two are rather intertwined because of the situation. Did it take you very long (or was it even necessary) to re-adapt to your old social life?
Sneaky Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Thanks, I think reading a book and watching some TV actually doesn't sound too bad. I have like this... I don't know... It's a weird feeling. I really don't feel like I need to go out, but I feel like I have to be at least talking to someone. Yet the two are rather intertwined because of the situation. Did it take you very long (or was it even necessary) to re-adapt to your old social life? You’re welcome. Though I haven’t re-adapted yet, I’m really not the type of person that needs much social contact and didn't before my relationship either. So it’s a bit weird for me, I don’t really think about it that much since I'm pretty comfortable on my own.
Author Finality338 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 I know that I just registered here yesterday, but I have another question I'd like to ask everyone. The only thing is it's not really related to this particular thread. Should i wait a day or two so I don't get called a troll or whatever?
Recommended Posts