nutmeg85 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I was in a relationship with someone I have been dating since January. He lived an hour away. I am a teacher and had a one week break before I begin teaching summer school. I gave up most of my break for him, visiting him, back and forth. Friday he came over. It was our first FULL weekend together in a month. He said he needed to tell me something I would not like. That his heart was just not in this anymore. That he felt terrible. We spoke again today, and he apologized for not giving me any signal. He said we are so compatible, that I am the best girlfriend he has ever had, by far. But that he could not fall in love with me. I teacher Communication. I understand that sometimes, no matter how great the person, you just cannot make yourself love someone. However, it still hurts like hell. We had no problems. We had fun together. We were sexually and emotionally wonderful together. I am in a million pieces. I was close with his family. I deleted all of them from Facebook. We have no contact now. But I want to feel good again. Whole. I am at a loss. Any comfort would be great.
ImperfectCircle Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) If what he said was true, about you being the best girlfriend he has ever had, you have to let him realize what he lost on his own. I'm a firm believer in "you don't know what you had until it's gone". After my ex of five years told me she met someone new, I was in complete shock and denial for WEEKS. The advice everyone told me is that it probably wasn't meant to be and to let go. Of course, I went against their advice and told them "No! you're all wrong!" But the funny part is that they were right. She did call three days ago. But she had pushed me so far away that I couldn't talk to her. Some things just aren't meant to be and no amount of denial, hope, or over analyzing is ever going to change that. It's tough to hear, but after a while it becomes clear. But if it's meant to be, trust me, it will happen. Continue no contact. Heal your heart, and also... Let him realize how great you were, and if he doesn't, then you'll find someone who will always know how great you are every second of the day. Either way... you win. Edited June 23, 2013 by ImperfectCircle 2
Author nutmeg85 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 I think what sucks is that he will move on faster, and he even admitted that. He said his way of coping with things is compartmentalizing and moving on...that there is no way to fix what has been done. For example, he is also grieving a death, and says he tries to put it in the back of his head because the person has already died, and having more anxiety about it will not help. I know this is not healthy, and this is something new I'm learning about him. However, it does not mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts that I am sitting here crying everyday feeling like a fool, while he gets to go on with his life. He said of course I'm not any less important. Of course I meant a lot to him, and his way of dealing not mean I meant any less. But it still hurts. So bad. I wish he would just wakeup and miss me.
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