Enna Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Nearly broke NC on day 30. HOW can they say 'I don't want to lose you' when THEY dumped you? Reading Caliguy's NC guide again and again, because this time I got 'I love you' (multiple times) as opposed to the 'I have loved you' last time. This message was really long. My first explanation of why he left (stress) but nothing about having made a wrong decision, or wanting to give it another shot. But I get 'I want your friendship, I want your love' and 'It's all up to you.' Is it a trap? They know, don't they, that when they say 'I don't want to lose you', that THEY made the decision?
Pisces13 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Dumpers say the darndest things don't they? Unless he is flat out asking to give it another shot, just take it for what is it, talk. 3
Author Enna Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Haha they do don't they, Pisces? The little sods! PAHHHH!!!!
Pisces13 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I got the same stuff from my ex too, while we kept in contact post breakup. I got "I do still love you", "I miss you like crazy", "I don't want any other girl to have you" blah blah blah blah... I don't doubt that she wasn't being sincere by saying those things, but obviously it wasn't enough for her to want to get back together with me, and essentially just served as false hope for myself.
Author Enna Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Are they a special breed though? I've managed to end a relationship, even with people I liked very much, without this sort of misleading crap. I wouldn't mind but this bloke was never manipulative during the relationship - just as it was ending, and since.
Pisces13 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Are they a special breed though? I've managed to end a relationship, even with people I liked very much, without this sort of misleading crap. I wouldn't mind but this bloke was never manipulative during the relationship - just as it was ending, and since. It sounds fairly common from what I read on here, although when I broke up with my first girlfriend, I was the same as you, I didn't say anything misleading to her, in fact I didn't really want anything to do with her, I kept my distance pretty well. I figured, I broke up with her for a reason, so why would I want to continue to string her along? It's not fair on anyone. My current ex was the same though, manipulative post breakup, although I don't really think they intend to be, it just happens that way for whatever reason.
Leigh 87 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I got the same stuff from my ex too, while we kept in contact post breakup. I got "I do still love you", "I miss you like crazy", "I don't want any other girl to have you" blah blah blah blah... I don't doubt that she wasn't being sincere by saying those things, but obviously it wasn't enough for her to want to get back together with me, and essentially just served as false hope for myself. Yep. Same here. I got the exact same " I love you" and " I miss you a lot" and " I do not want any other boy to have you". Guess what? They still don't want to have me. As theirs. They can miss us all they damn well like. That is ALL it is. They MISS us. They just don't love us enough. Sorry to tell you this:( They would not leave someone in this fashion, without coming back, if they deeply loved them. IF they came back, it would be because they are desperate. 2
Leigh 87 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Oh. And even if they DO literally write " I want you back I miss you I love you so much I want to be with you again". They will end up leaving us again. Without a doubt. I highly doubt that all that many people who are TRULY and deeply IN love, would leave their partner. Unless their partner was alcoholic, drug addled, or suffering from a severe mental or physical illness. If they come back begging, it is because they have not met the right person yet that really knocks their socks off. Therefore they falsely believe that they want you back. When really, they just have not found the right person, and end up coming back to you. They would not leave the right person, in the same fashion in which they left us. They left us for reasons that suggest they never WERE madly in love with us. Therefore: even if they DID beg for us back, they would leave us once they met the right person anyways. ...................................................... I know which option I would rather choose: A man who is SO in love with me, that he will never just leave me in the way my last b/f did. Even if there are no bread crumbs and he DOES legitimately WANT to be with you again? It is still not because he seriously loves you. Anyways. That is my take on this..... Breadcrumbs aside, even in the supposed " BEST CASE" scenario, where they DO want you back? They really don't. They just have not met the right person. You're a lovely option in the meanwhile. 1
BC1980 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I totally agree. If the person did love you in the right way, they would not have left. I'm not saying the ex is bad because they left; they have free will. But clearly, if a person leaves for some reason, they do not love you enough to work on these problems or go through a difficult time with you, ect. It can be tough because we would have stayed by this person's side through thick and thin. I think that hurts the most, loving completely and finding it wasn't exactly reciprocated in the way you had wished or thought. 1
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