Sweeetie Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) I met a guy called Phil at a nightclub a few weeks ago. He invited me to a little party that he was having at his place the next day and I couldn't go, he also asked me a few times to hang out with him and his friends at other nightclubs but since all these invitations were last-minute (on the day each time) I already had made other plans each time. On Friday however I joined him and two of his male friends at a club, I took along a male friend of mine called Kris (platonic friendship; Kris went with me just to meet some new girls). Phil and Kris had not met and when we met up with Phil at this club, Kris went off to find girls to dance with, and Phil's friends were upstairs so he and I chatted. One of the first things that Phil asked me after Kris went away was whether my friend was gay or straight, why he is here with me and how do I know him. When he was talking to me he was putting his arm around my waist, which I liked hence made no attempt to move away. Phil then took me to meet his 2 friends at a table, one of whom I'd met last time, and I noticed that Phil was sitting really close to me as if he were my boyfriend. We then hit the dance floor and that is when things turned around- almost the whole time, Phil was straying away from our group to go and meet and dance with other girls. It was a let-down for me since I thought I was going to have a good night with him and his friends and get to know him more, instead it felt like he lost interest in me completely. Even his friend was saying to him that he shouldn't stray away from our group so much since we had all come to have a good night together. The confusing thing is this- the day after the party Phil texted me to ask if I had a good time and if I am going out again soon. He sent me this text yesterday and I have not replied, I wasn't going to since I find it quite insulting how he thinks I'm at his beck and call despite ignoring me the whole night, but on the other hand I really like him and am wondering what'll happen if I ask him for a drink. What should I do? Edited June 23, 2013 by Sweeetie
snowflakes88 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Based on this + your last threads about this guy, I think he is interested to hang out and have a bit of casual fun, but not interested in dating you. 1
KatZee Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I have to agree. This guy doesn't sound particularly interested in seriously dating you. He invites you out to party and club. He's not asking you out on a date to get to know you. And the fact that he leaves to go hit on other women and dance with them is telling. I wouldn't waste my time with this. 2
Author Sweeetie Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Based on this + your last threads about this guy, I think he is interested to hang out and have a bit of casual fun, but not interested in dating you. Oh my last two threads were about a different guy, it didnt work out
Author Sweeetie Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 And the fact that he leaves to go hit on other women and dance with them is telling. Exactly- I cannot believe how a guy can take a girl out clubbing, desert her and dance with other girls all night, then text her the next day to ask her if she enjoyed the night, expecting a "hey! Yea I had an awesome time, you? When are we going out next?" He sent me that text yesterday, it has been 30 hours and I have not replied, and I do not intend to now.
Ripnet Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Exactly- I cannot believe how a guy can take a girl out clubbing, desert her and dance with other girls all night, then text her the next day to ask her if she enjoyed the night, expecting a "hey! Yea I had an awesome time, you? When are we going out next?" He sent me that text yesterday, it has been 30 hours and I have not replied, and I do not intend to now. Maybe you are giving signals that you're not interested in that much or that way.
snowflakes88 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Oh my last two threads were about a different guy, it didnt work out I'm referring to the previous 2 threads you had about this particular guy. In all of them he is just inviting you out to club last minute. He hasn't given any indication at all that he's interested in really dating you, which is probably why he feels OK texting to ask if you had a good time. 1
D-Lish Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I wasn't going to since I find it quite insulting how he thinks I'm at his beck and call despite ignoring me the whole night, but on the other hand I really like him and am wondering what'll happen if I ask him for a drink. I can't even believe you'd entertain the idea of asking him out. When a guy is interested in you- GENUINELY interested, his actions will reflect how he feels. 2
Tinie Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 No he's not interested in anything serious. He probably wanted you sexually. Hence the whole arm around your waist thing. Don't bother replying to his text. He'll go away.
sarah_tyler Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Sounds like he started off taking you for granted. It may be that he feels like he has what he wants, you sitting next to him enjoying his company, then he needs more attention. This happens with many men and women. Don't be that woman that he gets just like that, no matter how much you like him. If he is ignoring you, think twice about going out with him. It is a red flag. A guy who needs attention from everyone and thinks his date will just wait for him, is not what a special woman like yourself wants. It's hard since you like him. But in the beginning of a dating relationship, if there is no infatuation stage where both of you think of each other only, then chances are, (and this is only my experience and opinion) it will not work out and he will continue to treat you like that. Do you want a man who just assumes you are available at his beck and call? Of course not, don't be that woman! Be the one he is LUCKY to have as a date, the one every man wants to be with. He will see his mistake. He will regret it. All this is accomplished by self-confidence. You obviously have the ability to love and care for others quite easily. This is a beautiful characteristic! Don't let ANY man take you for granted, EVER. Date other men. If he is truly infatuated with you, he will do anything to get you on another date. Believe in yourself, know how loving you are, how giving you are and know that you deserve to be romanced because you are special. It will shine through and you will find that as your self confidence grows, this will attract many other men. So don't settle. You should never be at a mans beck and call. NEVER! This may be a bit painful because you like his company so much, but is it really worth the pain. Does this truly make you HAPPY? Please read what my neice found. She is wise for her 20's. 1
sarah_tyler Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 ""If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she will not amaze you. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy" 1
starrynightz45 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Am I the only one here who thinks her showing up at the club with another guy could have put him off too? Seems like a strange thing to do if you're interested in someone, even if he is a platonic friend. On the other hand, he's inviting you out to parties and clubs. Not 1-on-1 dates - so this tells me he's probably not looking for anything serious/real, he's probably just looking for some fun.
Leigh 87 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 He's just not that into you. That is why he is looking for other girls to dance with. Simple s that. He is looking for other girls, because you do not compel him to want you. He may or may not like you as a person. At best? He likes you as a person, and is attracted to you enough to have sex with you. At worst? Well.. He does not particularly even like you, and just wants you to come along for the hell of it. Because he has no better options himself. Sorry to sound so negative. I am just stating the truth. A man makes it as clear as day, when he wants you. For a lot more than just sex. You need to stop going after guys who do not really like you that much. It is sad. You can do better. If they do not pursue you and openly show an interest, there is none. 1
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