GudDude2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 What are the telltale signs of a woman cheating? Me and my chick had a bad falling out a few months back, and of course she dated and lived the life of a single woman. Now that we're back together I still suspect she is seeing someone(s) behind my back. She is definitely sneaky, and have done things in the past that have not been trustworthy, I.e. I caught her with her ex @ her apartment one night. I don't knows who's the ex or the present? Anyway she denied sleeping with him, which I still don't believe. My ? Is, are there classical behaviors I could be looking out for? She is very slick, and I have yet to launch a full investigation, hence no solid proof. But I have a feeling if I seek I will find. Maybe I can get some perspective from any woman replies?
oldshirt Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 IMHO you both should just go back to dating and living the single life. That way there is no assumption or expectation of exclusivity in the first place. It's only cheating if you are promising someone you are only seeing them exclusively while in reality carrying on with someone(s) else too. If you are only dating with no exclusivity agreement then it's all fair. It doesn't sound like exclusivity is working out for you two so if you want to keep your sanity and keep drama and heartache out of your lives you are options are either to - A. - walk away. or B.- remove any pretense of exclusivity or relationship obligations and just date and take things one day at a time with no expectations of exclusivity.
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Hmm...how soon after getting back together did you catch her ex at her place? What was happening, when you arrived? Is it possible he didn't know she was back with you, and went to her place to try and work things out? In that case, she may have been having a serious discussion with him, letting him know it was done. I can't discount though, it seems suspicious. It's entirely possible she hasn't been honest with either you or her ex, and is cake eating. Are there any other things she's doing, that send little red flags up? Tell us what other things she's doing, and we'll go from there. There are many tell-tale signs, but even that, in itself, isn't fool-proof.
oldshirt Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 What are the telltale signs of a woman cheating? Now that we're back together I still suspect she is seeing someone(s) behind my back. I caught her with her ex @ her apartment one night. Probably the most blatant and obvious telltale sign that there is someone else is to find them in her home. That's not really even behind your back. that is pretty much right up under your nose.
ComingInHot Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 listen to your gut. Ask her outright. (Which you did)* If you truly Don't trust her now and you're not engaged or Married, how will you ever?
Author GudDude2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 She claims he was too drunk to drive home. When I walked in they were in two separate beds in two separate rooms, and I really want to believe she didn't sleep with him atleast not that night. It kinda doesn't matter in the sense that just the fact that he was there without my knowledge tells me she is capable of much deceit. I would be smart possessing superior intellect if I opted for suggestion B, and dropped all expectations, which is easier said than done when emotions are involved, but still trying to work on. No expectations may not presently be realistic as I know we do care for one another, but I guess like Tina Turner asked, "WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?" Outside of this particular incident my suspicions rest on the fact that she is very social, especially with certain men that share her same interests. She is also very attractive & I know she gets a lot of attention from men. Her choice of attire certainly exasperates this attention. It's kind of hard to believe that she doesn't circum to the temptations of the flesh with all the variety offered. Don't get me wrong, I'm not chopped liver and my self-esteem is intact. I know if I put forth the effort I could possibly establish me a little harem, but I love her and unless i'm forced not to be I prefer to be a one woman man. It's more organized, more efficient, more honest, and less time consuming to not try to juggle a few women. Without positive proof I know it's hard to convict, and although she is in fact very slick with her bull**** I do realize that this in itself doesn't make her guilty of anything. She just recently professed that she wouldn't lie to me. Everytime I''ve ever questioned her loyalty she has adamantly denied any wrongdoing, and attempts for the most part to paint herself a little angel. Bull****! I have basically gone from being obsessed with finding out the truth about all past, present, and even possible future discretions to not caring, and letting time tell the tale, but now I feel like I could be wasting time, precious time on finding a woman I can invest in for me and only me without a doubt. Do I have trust issues? Of course I do, but everything isn't a figment of imagination either. From a woman's perspective if I asked her straight to her face do you think she'd lie about it? I know she values me and wants me around, I don't know if it's all for the right reasons, and if she thinks cake eating is worth it. G.I.G.S. syndrome she may definitely suffer from, and everyday it seems as though I'm waiting for her to jump the fence....i'm tired of waiting. I'm ready to see what grass lies on the other side myself if she can't make me feel secure in our exclusitivity. My recent attempts on adopting the attitude that as long as she pleases me....who cares what else she does is failing. I care and I don't want to sell myself short. What can I do to find out the truth?
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