youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) Hey everyone, I need your advice. Ex broke up with me 4 weeks ago and i have been doing NC for 3 weeks and she called me 3 days ago. Asked how im doing bla bla bla, asked nonsense questions about work and travel. It was obvious she wanted to talk to me. While talking i felt nothing toward her and even wanted to hang up phone. She also said she will send my stuff back. I said i dont want but she said she will. And after breal up she said she wont send it. Now she says she will. Wtf? Before she met me she kept talking to her ex and when she met me she stopped it. And when we talked 3 days ago i told her i dont want to be like her ex and speak once a 3 4 weeks and ask each other how we are doing. She said okay take care then and we hung up. But yesterday and today i have been thinking about her nonstop. She never cheated on me, she never lied to me but she was so selfish and stubborn whch hurt me a lot. Do you think she wants me back? Should i send her a message and let her know about my feelings so at least when i look back in future i wont regret that i kept my feelings inside. And maybe it changes stuff? What do guys? Please help. I was doing okay till she contact me and i now think of her and started creeping on her whatsap and facebook. What do? Also I don't know if backstory helps but here is the thread I opened 2 weeks ago. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/400070-how-do-i-get-my-ex-back Edited June 23, 2013 by youcanever
forgetmenot75 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Forget her. She's not into you. She's feeling guilty do she's playing the friend thing, but she's no feeling romantically towards you. This is breadcrumbs, and you should stop replying to her calls, messages. Also, it's obvious you couldn't forgt about her, because that call triggered a lot of emotions. You are now in square 1. Start nc all over again.
Author youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Forget her. She's not into you. She's feeling guilty do she's playing the friend thing, but she's no feeling romantically towards you. This is breadcrumbs, and you should stop replying to her calls, messages. Also, it's obvious you couldn't forgt about her, because that call triggered a lot of emotions. You are now in square 1. Start nc all over again. So it is a bad idea to write her "I wish you didn't see me as a friend, we could be a great couple" I know it sounds stupid but I feel like I should write her. Even at phone talk she was talking very friendly. She was like "Heeey youcanever, how are you doing?" That made me feel terrible. I've been doing NC for 2 days again, but keep creeping on her facebook and whatsapp. I should go on with Hardcore NC.. But, you know what triggers my mind... I have lots of regrets about my past. It's not about this relationship but about my way more past. And I always say myself, why I haven't done that, or what I haven't talk to that girl.. etc.. And when I look past from the future and look today, I don't want to regret that I didn't write her and let her know about my feelings. What do you think about that?
aloneinaz Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 So it is a bad idea to write her "I wish you didn't see me as a friend, we could be a great couple" I know it sounds stupid but I feel like I should write her. Even at phone talk she was talking very friendly. She was like "Heeey youcanever, how are you doing?" That made me feel terrible. I've been doing NC for 2 days again, but keep creeping on her facebook and whatsapp. I should go on with Hardcore NC.. But, you know what triggers my mind... I have lots of regrets about my past. It's not about this relationship but about my way more past. And I always say myself, why I haven't done that, or what I haven't talk to that girl.. etc.. And when I look past from the future and look today, I don't want to regret that I didn't write her and let her know about my feelings. What do you think about that? Ask yourself this question. Did she call you to tell you she missed you or that she wanted you back? No, no, she didn't. She was simply curious about why you went silent on her and wondered if you'd talk to her if she called. Breadcrumbs, nothing more. If she still loved you, missed you in her life, SHE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT DURING THE CALL. If you contact her or send her an email, she'll think she still has you wrapped around her finger and your pathetic and desperate. You need to go no contact and ignore any other attempts on her part to reach you. If she wants you back to try it again, SHE'LL make it obvious then YOU can decide if you want to do that or not. Mean while, move on with you life and find someone else.
na49 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I don't think she wants you back. She hasn't said anything about rekindling the relationship, she's just talking to you like you're an old acquaintance. She wants to give you your stuff back because she doesn't want it anymore. If she doesn't want your stuff, what makes you think that she wants you?
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 She never cheated on me, she never lied to me but she was so selfish and stubborn whch hurt me a lot. Why would you want to get back with a super-selfish and stubborn ex? Time to move on buddy, plenty of fish in the sea.
Author youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 I had lots of hard times with NC but last 4 days before she contacted me I've been doing HARDCORE NC, which is no creeping on whatsapp and facebook. That really helped me a lot. But after talking I feel I'm back again to depressive guy. It hurts so much when I think she will be sleeping with other guy. Because I Know how she makes a person feel in sexually. She gave me nothing emotionally. So I don't miss her emotionally. I just hate these feels. And it make me stop eating, and make me sleep all the time. I don't think she will call again, because I told her not to. I should start Hardcore NC again. That's the only option to move on. Damn, I want her !
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I had lots of hard times with NC but last 4 days before she contacted me I've been doing HARDCORE NC, which is no creeping on whatsapp and facebook. That really helped me a lot. But after talking I feel I'm back again to depressive guy. It hurts so much when I think she will be sleeping with other guy. Because I Know how she makes a person feel in sexually. She gave me nothing emotionally. So I don't miss her emotionally. I just hate these feels. And it make me stop eating, and make me sleep all the time. I don't think she will call again, because I told her not to. I should start Hardcore NC again. That's the only option to move on. Damn, I want her ! All this is down to attachment. She was abusive and very stubborn and this is something that made you not connect with her emotionally-that is not a healthy relationship. I have been in a somewhat abusive relationship and I know how it feels to get hurt constantly by someone you love. You should be glad you are not in this relationship anymore and keep NC.
Author youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 All this is down to attachment. She was abusive and very stubborn and this is something that made you not connect with her emotionally-that is not a healthy relationship. I have been in a somewhat abusive relationship and I know how it feels to get hurt constantly by someone you love. You should be glad you are not in this relationship anymore and keep NC. You are right about that. I'm a very emotional guy, and as I see you are too. And it hurts so much when the person you love give your messages late, starts to hang out with her friends more than you. Never ever say "I love you" or "I miss you". If you are lucky you get "me too".. But that's all.. It was just destroying me emotionally and killing my self respect. Because when she does that, I start chasing after her harder to get some nice words out of her mouth. But that never happens. Right now I'm not very glad I'm out of the relationship but maybe those times will come. And yes, I started NC again. I've creeped on her facebook and whatsap last 2 days but right now I'm starting Hardcore NC. No creeping. Nothing. I will force myself mentally. I don't know if it is normal but I'm really cold with relationships right now. When I hear love words I want to throw up, when I see a couple I want to throw up, when I see a happy girl, I want to throw up. I'm so sick of love right now. Hope that I'm not losing my mind. Feels bad.
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 You are right about that. I'm a very emotional guy, and as I see you are too. And it hurts so much when the person you love give your messages late, starts to hang out with her friends more than you. Never ever say "I love you" or "I miss you". If you are lucky you get "me too".. But that's all.. It was just destroying me emotionally and killing my self respect. Because when she does that, I start chasing after her harder to get some nice words out of her mouth. But that never happens. Right now I'm not very glad I'm out of the relationship but maybe those times will come. And yes, I started NC again. I've creeped on her facebook and whatsap last 2 days but right now I'm starting Hardcore NC. No creeping. Nothing. I will force myself mentally. I don't know if it is normal but I'm really cold with relationships right now. When I hear love words I want to throw up, when I see a couple I want to throw up, when I see a happy girl, I want to throw up. I'm so sick of love right now. Hope that I'm not losing my mind. Feels bad. It really hurts when a person you love doesn't reciprocate with the same level of affection. It hurts more when they really don't care about you and are rude and callous. Such an environment is too toxic for any love to grow and you are better off not dating her. This is precisely the reason why you don't miss her emotionally because you invested so much into the relationship but got very little in return. I know it hurts thinking of her loving and banging some other dude but this is down to attachment/feeling of rejection than it is about love. I am personally glad that the ex ended our 4 year relationship because I didn't have the balls to do it. A time will come when you will be glad that you aren't dating her anymore. You have to give yourself time to heal and go full NC.
Author youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 It really hurts when a person you love doesn't reciprocate with the same level of affection. It hurts more when they really don't care about you and are rude and callous. Such an environment is too toxic for any love to grow and you are better off not dating her. This is precisely the reason why you don't miss her emotionally because you invested so much into the relationship but got very little in return. I know it hurts thinking of her loving and banging some other dude but this is down to attachment/feeling of rejection than it is about love. I am personally glad that the ex ended our 4 year relationship because I didn't have the balls to do it. A time will come when you will be glad that you aren't dating her anymore. You have to give yourself time to heal and go full NC. Yes, I will give it a try to full NC again. I hope I can stick to it. Thanks man. Opened my eyes. 1
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Yes, I will give it a try to full NC again. I hope I can stick to it. Thanks man. Opened my eyes. Glad that you are making progress. it's normally a challenge to stay NC especially if the Ex tries to contact you. Keep posting on this forum every time you feel like contacting her or checking her FB/Whatsup and during any other moment of weakness. We are all rooting for you. 1
Author youcanever Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Glad that you are making progress. it's normally a challenge to stay NC especially if the Ex tries to contact you. Keep posting on this forum every time you feel like contacting her or checking her FB/Whatsup and during any other moment of weakness. We are all rooting for you. It good to feel the support. I think I just a little lost my mind after that call because I really wasn't expecting it. Now I get my mind right. I'm not feeling like contacting her or even checking up on her. If I feel the urge, I'll definitely write here. Thanks man. Really appreciate it.
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