At the Edge...

[Sneaky]

Yea but that was within the first 10 days of the breakup, feelings and emotions were still a little raw.

 

I mean really, why would it be bad to go see her in person and tell her I am not ok with how things went down between us, and that I'm still hurting?

 

Things will remain raw because you keep opening up the wounds and yes, it would really be bad to go see her in person. She's not responding to your texts what makes you think she wants you to suddenly show up? Can you not see how crazy that is?

 

I think I am going to try texting her today, just to see how her summer is going...

 

You're not texting her to see how her summer is going, you're texting her to feel a bit better. But that feeling will only last for a short while and afterwards you'll feel worse because she won't respond or respond in a different way than you want.

 

Listen to us, seriously, all your texting is doing is driving her crazy and making her resent you. I know because I did the exact same thing. You need to back off. I know it's difficult and I know it feels like giving up but it's the right thing to do.

[Quick_k]

I know how I sound believe me. It's just I honestly feel I will never find another person like her in my life, and with all my limitations and I don't want to be alone forever.

 

I've never been in this situation and neither has she. I just feel maybe I waited too long to text her after she last talked to me. Maybe she got mad and thought I didn't really care anymore. I mean this just does NOT seem like her at all.

 

What about sending her a hand written note saying sorry for not initially giving her space, that I have never been in that position before and wasn't sure how to react. And that I don't like how things seem to be on bad terms for us, and I don't want her out of my life completely, and that she is the best friend I ever had.

[forgetmenot75]

yeah, I think you should text her. you need to realize she doesn't love you in a rough way.

Text her and feel the consequences of your acts. Only then you'll see the truth. You are living in an imaginary world, you need to see reality.

go text her!

[TaraMaiden]

I know how I sound believe me.

No, it's patently obvious you don't....

 

It's just I honestly feel I will never find another person like her in my life, and with all my limitations and I don't want to be alone forever.

No, of course you won't.

You may in fact find someone even better, more mature, more settled, more balanced and more content.... They won't be the same, so don't compare. That's horrendously unfair and extremely foolish.

I sincerely hope you DON'T find anyone 'like her' because then you'll just be living a lie.

 

I've never been in this situation and neither has she.

So what?

There's always a first time. Ask anyone else here... they've probably never been in their situation before either. It doesn't make any difference. There's always a first experience with everything.

What, you think WE all make a habit of this??

 

I just feel maybe I waited too long to text her after she last talked to me. Maybe she got mad and thought I didn't really care anymore. I mean this just does NOT seem like her at all.

Well it is her.

She's free. Moved on, changed and is not with you any more. She's never been in this situation before - you just said this yourself. So of course she's acting in a completely different way to the way she always has.

Because she has split up with you, and is living her life.

Why shouldn't she?

That's what she wanted to do....

Don't for goodness sake start crowding her now, by pestering her....I guarantee it will do nothing but exasperate her.

 

What about sending her a hand written note saying sorry for not initially giving her space, that I have never been in that position before and wasn't sure how to react. And that I don't like how things seem to be on bad terms for us, and I don't want her out of my life completely, and that she is the best friend I ever had.

 

What about you just follow all the good, sound and heartfelt advice from all the people on this thread who have already fought their own battles with this very situation, and know what they're talking about?

What about you responding with "Okay guys, I get it, I'll leave her alone and not crawl, beg, make small talk, chat, ask pointless questions, be clingy, needy desperate and overwhelm her with attention she obviously doesn't want."....?

 

You need to have her out of your life completely, because being her friend, right now, is completely out of the question.

No dice.

You love her too much to be her friend, and she doesn't want you enough right now, to be yours.

 

I'm sorry; this hits hard, and is harsh. But you have to understand - you HAVE. TO. STOP.

Edited June 24, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[Quick_k]

You know what....I think coming to this site was a BIG mistake. Nobody ever got anywhere in life without taking chances, so I need to take mine idk if I do end up learning the hard way...my life is TOTAL **** anyway how worse can it get...I mean honestly for people who have actually read my whole story, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET????

 

My life doesn't mean much anyway, no one is dependent on me. And honestly, maybe that's why many of you are so miserable, because you have too much pride and are too stubborn to TRY and get back what you really WANT!!! Yes I am acting out that's the point where I'm at in my life. If I try to move on I'm scared for life, can't fully trust and am living a fake life.

[forgetmenot75]

Look, quick fix, who will want to be with someone like YOU at this moment? you don't even love yourself, you consider your life miserable, don't you think she will want to be with someone who's full of positive energy, someone who is not depressed like you, someone who doesn't feel miserable, someone who doesn't spend their days talking to mom about how to make her fall in love again, someone who's not clingy and needy like you??

 

I'm sorry, dude, you need to take care of yourself before wanting someone else to love you.

 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!!

 

PS: I'm in the exact situation as you. I feel miserable, worthless and I'm severely depressed right now. I haven't eaten in all day. I know how are you feeling.

[StrongLass]

You know what....I think coming to this site was a BIG mistake.

 

Only since you seem to have expected all of us to feed you comforting lies instead of the hot steaming truth of your situation.

 

my life is TOTAL **** anyway how worse can it get...I mean honestly for people who have actually read my whole story, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET????

 

You could be blind. starving. Locked away in prison. Do I really need to continue with this one?

 

My life doesn't mean much anyway, no one is dependent on me.

 

Your self esteem can fit in a thimble apparently.

Why not live your life for YOURSELF?

 

And honestly, maybe that's why many of you are so miserable, because you have too much pride and are too stubborn to TRY and get back what you really WANT!!!

 

Many of us here are in pain...but a good number of us also understand that it WILL stop. And for many of us guess what? Things will get EVEN BETTER THAN WE THOUGHT POSSIBLE. Crazy right?

 

Speaking of wanting things, is EVERYTHING you REALLY want in life your failed relationship? There's WAY more to life than just romance mate.

 

Yes I am acting out that's the point where I'm at in my life. If I try to move on I'm scared for life, can't fully trust and am living a fake life.

 

The only fake thing here is your expectations of what will happen. Go ahead, go do what you want...and see where it ends up getting you.

[Sneaky]

I wanted to comment again earlier because I really do feel for you; some of the things you have said sounded a lot like what I was telling my ex. I guess you need to make your own mistakes before you can take a step back. So I’ll just say that I hope you’ll find peace of mind and when you’re ready and need it; this forum will still be here.

[Sheilalou008]

You know what....I think coming to this site was a BIG mistake. Nobody ever got anywhere in life without taking chances, so I need to take mine idk if I do end up learning the hard way...my life is TOTAL **** anyway how worse can it get...I mean honestly for people who have actually read my whole story, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET????

 

My life doesn't mean much anyway, no one is dependent on me. And honestly, maybe that's why many of you are so miserable, because you have too much pride and are too stubborn to TRY and get back what you really WANT!!! Yes I am acting out that's the point where I'm at in my life. If I try to move on I'm scared for life, can't fully trust and am living a fake life.

 

I actually got out of bed to log in and respond to this post.

 

This isn't a joke or about misery. I went down this same road. I bit older than you and different situation but same result.

 

My begging, pleading, crying, desperation and whatever else I could throw at my dumper, GO ME NOWHERE. I finally shut the heck up and went away and lived my life for me. Only then did he come beating down my door begging me to take him back. Pestering someone does not get good results, it just pushes them away and you end up looking nuts.

 

Accept what has happened and move on! I know you said that you have some limitations and feel as though no one will ever love you again, but I promise that there is someone out there that will. It may not be this girl, the girl after and so on but it will happen. Just think about yourself and forget about her. This imaginary fight is a futile effort. If I had an ex who did this I would honestly call the cops and file a restraining order. You both are young. MOVE ON!

[TaraMaiden]

You know what....I think coming to this site was a BIG mistake. Nobody ever got anywhere in life without taking chances, so I need to take mine idk if I do end up learning the hard way...my life is TOTAL **** anyway how worse can it get...I mean honestly for people who have actually read my whole story, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET????

What are you hoping to achieve by posting this?

having failed to evince support for your own ideas on what to do, you're now going into "I hate myself" mode?

Your life could get a whole lot worse.

The fact you're still waking up in the morning is positive testimony to your wanting to be here.

THAT already, is a positive.

If you need to start from there, start from there.

 

My life doesn't mean much anyway, no one is dependent on me. And honestly, maybe that's why many of you are so miserable, because you have too much pride and are too stubborn to TRY and get back what you really WANT!!!

 

Oh please - quit with the melodrama.

Sadly, that doesn't wash here much either...

Have you looked your parents in the eye and told them "Thanks guys, but my life doesn't mean much anyway"....

I'm sure they'd be delighted with your verdict.

 

And where do you get the impression any of us are miserable?

In pain, possibly, heartbroken, very likely.

But miserable?

Include me out.

been there, done that, didn't like it, got out.

I don't do miserable, me.

Gave that up as a bad idea long ago.

Why?

Because it doesn't work, get you anywhere, or do anything for you.

 

Yes I am acting out that's the point where I'm at in my life. If I try to move on I'm scared for life, can't fully trust and am living a fake life.

Why have you let this freeze you in paralysis of misery? Why have you abdicated all responsibility for your own happiness onto the shoulders of someone else?

What right have you to do that?

How dare you expect an 18-year-old to be solely responsible for making you happy?

Don't you see how selfish that is?

 

It's NOT on her!

That's not her responsibility!

To be happy, contented and at peace with your own life, is YOUR job, not hers!

 

Dependence is extremely crippling, and the fact you allowed matters to reach this excess, is worrying.

 

YOU NEED MEDICAL SUPPORT!

 

For goodness' sake, speak to your doctor and DO something for yourself!!

Edited June 25, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[iouaname]

QuickK - I want to say first of all that I'm sorry that you're going through this, and that I know EXACTLY how you feel because I've been in the exact same place. I was so incredibly hurt and couldn't understand how he was moving on so easily with his life, or how he could go so quickly from wanting to stay really close friends to not wanting contact with me at all. After stepping away, I've realized that it was really my own fault because I did what you did - I cried, I begged, I pleaded, I showed how desperate I was in an attempt to make him care... but all that it did was push him further away because it was too much of a burden for him to have on his shoulders.

 

There are two ways this can go now: You can take the advice of people here and leave her alone, try to let go and move on with your life, or you can learn the hard way that what appears to you as "fighting" appears to your ex as a form of emotional terrorism.

 

The feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness and the suicidal thoughts that accompany them ARE worth fighting. Fight THOSE. I have been there and trust me when I say that there is nothing more empowering than being able to get through that.

[Quick_k]

Come on, you're a painfully clingy, desperate twenty-four year old man pining after a teenage girl and ignoring all the advise the adults here have given you. Clearly you just want someone to tell you what you're doing is right, but you won't find that here so it's probably best you do leave now.

 

 

Doubt you read my full story about my medical condition.

[TaraMaiden]

No - but I did.

And you need to go to your doctor, and work with him - or her - to evaluate your state of mind, together with your medical condition, and do something!!