delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) I had broken up with him out of the heat of the moment because he was pulling away and detaching himself from me .. The next day he had messaged me saying he was scared of being in love and how he would never love anyone else like he had loved me (all his exes have cheated on him except me).. I gave it a day or two to clear my thoughts and contacted him saying we could work this out and he proceeded to say that he doesn't feel the same and we split ways. We agreed on being friends and couple of times he messaged me to see how I was doing and etc.. Then out of nowhere he stopped talking to me and ignored my text.. which I only contacted him twice after that last conversation we had.. And ever since then I hadnt contacted him in anyway. It's been going on 3 months and some weeks since no contact.I thought it was strange since he even said that he didn't want to lose me completely out of his life and that he didnt want to have to think about all those memories. So ever since then I've found myself facebook stalking him I have to admit I've been pretty weak at this.. it's almost like an addiction. He doesn't even post anything or show any of his photos or posts. But somehow I feel like I get sort of an answer to how his life is going, in an odd way. For an example, after our break up he would deactivate his facebook then all over again reactivate it. And not too long ago he had blocked me and now he deactivated his facebook again shortly after it. It isn't holding me back from healing simply because I'm accepting it.. I think it's just more of wanting to know that our relationship atleast meant something to him. And yes I know I'm going to be told I shouldnt do this, but I'm getting there slowly for the most part. Progress is being made and I believe that's all that matters. Edited June 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs, please use them
flitzanu Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I had broken up with him out of the heat of the moment because he was pulling away and detaching himself from me .. The next day he had messaged me saying he was scared of being in love and how he would never love anyone else like he had loved me (all his exes have cheated on him except me).. I gave it a day or two to clear my thoughts and contacted him saying we could work this out and he proceeded to say that he doesn't feel the same and we split ways.We agreed on being friends and couple of times he messaged me to see how I was doing and etc.. Then out of nowhere he stopped talking to me and ignored my text.. which I only contacted him twice after that last conversation we had.. And ever since then I hadnt contacted him in anyway. It's been going on 3 months and some weeks since no contact.I thought it was strange since he even said that he didn't want to lose me completely out of his life and that he didnt want to have to think about all those memories. So ever since then I've found myself facebook stalking him I have to admit I've been pretty weak at this.. it's almost like an addiction. He doesn't even post anything or show any of his photos or posts. But somehow I feel like I get sort of an answer to how his life is going, in an odd way. For an example, after our break up he would deactivate his facebook then all over again reactivate it. And not too long ago he had blocked me and now he deactivated his facebook again shortly after it. It isn't holding me back from healing simply because I'm accepting it.. I think it's just more of wanting to know that our relationship atleast meant something to him. And yes I know I'm going to be told I shouldnt do this, but I'm getting there slowly for the most part. Progress is being made and I believe that's all that matters. stalking his facebook page is showing you that your relationship meant something to him?
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) Honestly simply because he never used to deactivate his facebook when we were together or even before we were, and what's the point of blocking someone when they dont even contact you? Plus usually when someone deactivates in over and over in a span of a certain time.. it usually means emotional issues. idk. Maybe I'm just grasping at whatever I can or trying to convince myself of it. Edited June 23, 2013 by delicate_22
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Why is this even an issue? The guy doesn't post anything on his page. Are you looking for clues as to why you broke up?
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Why is this even an issue? The guy doesn't post anything on his page. Are you looking for clues as to why you broke up? Not even that, I'm not even sure. I think maybe in a way I'm hoping he'll post something and I can move on from it idk. lol I need help moving on or something.
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Not even that, I'm not even sure. I think maybe in a way I'm hoping he'll post something and I can move on from it idk. lol I need help moving on or something. How long have you been broken up? I know it doesn't make sense blocking someone who doesn't contact you but in your case you could do it to make sure you don't keep checking his page.
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 How long have you been broken up? I know it doesn't make sense blocking someone who doesn't contact you but in your case you could do it to make sure you don't keep checking his page. We have been broken up for 4 months. And yeah I agree but since he's blocked me I cant block him. I think the reason why I'm even doing it is because Im hoping in a way he'll post something that'll make me move on easier but at this point I know it isnt doing any good and I'm just going to have to be self disciplined and stop over analyzing everything and speculating because it's getting me nowhere. It's just hard to cut your feelings off with someone you shared a part of you with.
aloneinaz Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 We have been broken up for 4 months. And yeah I agree but since he's blocked me I cant block him. I think the reason why I'm even doing it is because Im hoping in a way he'll post something that'll make me move on easier but at this point I know it isnt doing any good and I'm just going to have to be self disciplined and stop over analyzing everything and speculating because it's getting me nowhere. It's just hard to cut your feelings off with someone you shared a part of you with. Four months ago your broke up and are still stalking this guy's Facebook? The big issue is why you haven't moved on and are still giving this EX so much attention? That's not healthy at all. Clearly he's moving on so what's holding you back from doing the same? My ex ended our toxic relationship. After I got my stuff back 2 days later, I blocked her and of course she noticed and did the same to me. I don't want to know what's she doing or her updates, etc. She told me she didn't want me in her life anymore so why would I waste anytime worrying about what's she's posting on Facebook?
forgetmenot75 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Four months and you still don't get it??? You are stalking him to get clues??? What else you need to realize he doesn't want to be with you, that he's not interested, that he doesn't love you??? You shouldn't be doing this to yourself. Stop stalking him, if he deactivates you or not doesnt have any importance at all. His silence, he not contacting you should be enough for you to understand he is not into you. He probably is seeing someone else. And you should do the same. Move on. He's probably to busy to post on Facebook, he just doesn't care at all!! Don't waste your time in vain!!
hotpotato Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I'm so tempted to ask...You dropped him, why does it matter?
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 You guys are acting as if I'm contacting him and pestering him.. I'm viewing his profile. In anyway it's not affecting him.. it's affecting me. And I do agree with what you all said. That's why I'm asking for some input on how to move on..
aloneinaz Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 You guys are acting as if I'm contacting him and pestering him.. I'm viewing his profile. In anyway it's not affecting him.. it's affecting me. And I do agree with what you all said. That's why I'm asking for some input on how to move on.. We're trying to answer you. BLOCK him, his friends, family, etc. You keep viewing his profile which is keeping him on your brain thus, not allowing you time and distance away. When you stop having any contact, viewing any old pics, emails, etc, you can then start your healing and recovery. The ONLY thing that will help is having NC with him moving forward. Get rid of everything that reminds you off him. Gifts, cards, emails, texts, pictures, etc. Wipe them clean or put them in a box and get it out of your house for a year. When my toxic ex ended our toxic relationship (since I didn't have the balls too), I was done. I deleted all texts, her numbers, pictures, through away all her loving cards, all gone. I went through my house and got rid of anything that also reminded me of her. I blocked her on Facebook and Linkedin. I don't want to talk to her, see her or anything. It WILL NOT allow me to heal and get over her. Even though she was toxic, I still loved her but her nasty behavior the past few months makes it much easier. At two weeks post break up, I started dating again. I've now met a girl that I like and am seeing. This is also a GOOD STEP to put the ex in the past where she belongs. 1
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Thank you aloneinaz. I'm going to start from now on.. no more looking. It's in the past. And way to go on your accomplishment. I just have to accept the situation as it is and start getting in the mode of who cares, he's my ex mode. I'm sure I'm going to laugh my ass off at myself down the road. More I think about more pathetic it is that I'm even caring about what is going on in his life.
aloneinaz Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Thank you aloneinaz. I'm going to start from now on.. no more looking. It's in the past. And way to go on your accomplishment. I just have to accept the situation as it is and start getting in the mode of who cares, he's my ex mode. I'm sure I'm going to laugh my ass off at myself down the road. More I think about more pathetic it is that I'm even caring about what is going on in his life. Trust me, I know it's NOT easy to come to the FINALITY of the relationship being over. This is why I went back to this TOXIC woman, again and again despite EVERY FRIEND and family member screaming at me to stay away from her due to her issues and the crap she'd pull. She'd even tell me all the time that "I know I'm not an easy person to get along with". No ****. You also have to get mad at some point too Delicate. You have to say "you don't want me in your life", then FU. I'll find someone who will. Why give a person who doesn't want you in your life so much concern, again, F-them! I have ZERO doubt that my ex has regrets or will have MAJOR regrets down the line about what an ahole she was to a great guy who loved her and her kids unconditionally and only wanted to make her happy. I tried so hard on many different levels but no one will ever make her happy. No one will ever meet her expectations. Her sister told me that. She also had a special needs son that MANY guys would run from her after she told them about him. I fell in love with the young man. He's just a great kid. Now, I don't have him or his sister in my life any longer and that hurts worse than anything. Both kids were nothing but great to me while she was a dick. I'm a true believer in Karma and what comes aroung goes around. 1
Author delicate_22 Posted June 23, 2013 Author Posted June 23, 2013 Exactly aloneinaz! I mean really I put up a hell lot up with him. He had PTSD on top of anxiety.. He was also abused as a child and I was there for him during anytime he needed me. Yeah I'm gonna get mad! F him. lol.. It is nice to know though that I won't be living with the regrets, because I was sincere in the relationship. I cant let some guy who doesn't want to be with me hold me back from moving on. Someone will want me.. I take it as it wasnt meant. 1
mutant Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Exactly aloneinaz! I mean really I put up a hell lot up with him. He had PTSD on top of anxiety.. He was also abused as a child and I was there for him during anytime he needed me. Yeah I'm gonna get mad! F him. lol.. It is nice to know though that I won't be living with the regrets, because I was sincere in the relationship. I cant let some guy who doesn't want to be with me hold me back from moving on. Someone will want me.. I take it as it wasnt meant. Way to go! You have been deeply hurt by the demise of your relationship and it's time to put an end to this. Well, It doesn't happen overnight but you are on the light track. Block all possible avenues of contact including his friends and family. If you were using extra FB accounts to stalk him, it's time to delete them. Get yourself busy with other activities/hobbies and focus on improving yourself.
lostinlove101 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) Trust me, I know it's NOT easy to come to the FINALITY of the relationship being over. This is why I went back to this TOXIC woman, again and again despite EVERY FRIEND and family member screaming at me to stay away from her due to her issues and the crap she'd pull. She'd even tell me all the time that "I know I'm not an easy person to get along with". No ****. You also have to get mad at some point too Delicate. You have to say "you don't want me in your life", then FU. I'll find someone who will. Why give a person who doesn't want you in your life so much concern, again, F-them! I have ZERO doubt that my ex has regrets or will have MAJOR regrets down the line about what an ahole she was to a great guy who loved her and her kids unconditionally and only wanted to make her happy. I tried so hard on many different levels but no one will ever make her happy. No one will ever meet her expectations. Her sister told me that. She also had a special needs son that MANY guys would run from her after she told them about him. I fell in love with the young man. He's just a great kid. Now, I don't have him or his sister in my life any longer and that hurts worse than anything. Both kids were nothing but great to me while she was a dick. I'm a true believer in Karma and what comes aroung goes around. Aloneinaz: You have commented on my thread and I've read your other replies. You are such a great person. Very level headed, even handed, and kind. Just wanted you to know that. Edited June 25, 2013 by lostinlove101
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