thewrongonee Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 She texted me after four months on my birthday, talked for a bit, i ended the conversation and left it at that. Now i feel bad, going back into the emotional roller coaster. We ended for a reason and i accepted that and was finally getting over it. Now i dont know what to even do. Just leave it be or try having normal conversation with her as friends. I honestly dont know if i even have feeling for her anymore, i felt sad and emotional tonight but it will mostlikely change by tomorrow. This girl was a saint, and i did do dumb things to get her upset. I just want to make things right and not be an ******* anymore, i just dont know what to do. Can anyone help me out? I dont know if i want her back, or its just that feeling im missing the most,
smokey bear Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 You can be friends but not until your completely over each other. 2
iouaname Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I read a recent article that said that there was a study that showed that being 'just friends' with someone you are/were in love increases depression. So of course you CAN be friends with an ex. The question is whether or not it's healthy to be friends with an ex. 1
Author thewrongonee Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 I believe so too. I'm not sure why she texted, i guess she wants to just reconnect but i ll just stop it here then
D-Lish Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 You can be friends but not until your completely over each other. By the time you are truly over the person, you won't want them as a friend. 7
Renard99 Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 There is the potential to be friends with an ex....... however, as others have said, you have to be so far away from the relationship, both physically and mentally, that thoughts of the past don't even enter your head. For example, I'm friends with an old ex of mine, but the main reason I was able to do this is that I hadn't seen, nor heard from her in 10 years. When we bumped into each other, as so much time had passed, it was like meeting someone for the first time. Thoughts of the old relationship were nowhere to be found. 1
lostinlove101 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 There is the potential to be friends with an ex....... however, as others have said, you have to be so far away from the relationship, both physically and mentally, that thoughts of the past don't even enter your head. For example, I'm friends with an old ex of mine, but the main reason I was able to do this is that I hadn't seen, nor heard from her in 10 years. When we bumped into each other, as so much time had passed, it was like meeting someone for the first time. Thoughts of the old relationship were nowhere to be found. I have a question about this..... I recently started dating someone ( well were broken up now, but that's another story) that i dated 20 yrs ago. When we were breaking up he said he was having flashback or memories of what happened 20 yrs ago... Not sure exactly what he was talking about, but we stopped dating because of what was happening NOWWW!!! I approached things with a clean slate, we were kids 20 yrs ago.... How can he be flashing back to things that happened 20 yrs ago, I've changed so much! Maybe he hasn't???
Sugarkane Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I know most people think it's weird if you're not friends with exes on here. But I haven't had an ex that deserved to be one.
Renard99 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I have a question about this..... I recently started dating someone ( well were broken up now, but that's another story) that i dated 20 yrs ago. When we were breaking up he said he was having flashback or memories of what happened 20 yrs ago... Not sure exactly what he was talking about, but we stopped dating because of what was happening NOWWW!!! I approached things with a clean slate, we were kids 20 yrs ago.... How can he be flashing back to things that happened 20 yrs ago, I've changed so much! Maybe he hasn't??? That's probably just an association thing. You've dated twice and broken up twice and despite being a 'new you' you're still the same physical person he dated previously. I think the break up you were going through simply reminded him that this is not the first time you guys have broke up and didn't have any direct relevance to recent break up. It's like a few months back. I was knocked off my bike by a car and I had flashbacks to when the same thing happened when I was 14 from which I still have the scars. The flashback to the old accident had no influence on the current one, it just simply reminded me of it. The difference with me and the ex that I'm now friends with is that we never looked to date again. She's married and I was dating someone. All we ever developed was a friendship. With you guys going back to dating there was inevitably going to be some recollection of the past, so, when it ended that too envoked memories of the past. 1
Renard99 Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 I know most people think it's weird if you're not friends with exes on here. But I haven't had an ex that deserved to be one. I don't think it's weird, I'm only friends with one out of the ex's that I've been with. Even then that's only because we broke up through mutual agreement (education, career direction and distance were starting to get in the way of what was otherwise a good relationship) and a substantial period of time had passed since we last spoke. None of other ex's even remotely deserve my time or attention.
Derpderpleton Posted June 26, 2013 Posted June 26, 2013 So far the answer for me is a big fat NO. I have to see my ex anywhere between 1-3 times a week because we work together. She tries so hard to be my friend sometimes that I get really annoyed by it. Some days I just want her to leave me alone, but if I go too long without talking to her at work she'll go out of her way to say something to me. Don't try to be my friend just because you feel bad for dumping me. I know that's what she's doing and it pisses me off even more. She doesn't genuinely want to be my friend, she just feels obligated to.
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