ZALAVON Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Hello everyone, This is my first time posting here, hope this doesn't take up too much of your time. My ex broke it off with me about a month and two weeks ago now. He was very nasty about it, and very unkind. He tore me apart. He called me names and acted so childish, and the entire time I did not bite back. No-one could even figure out a real reason as to why he ended it, and did it the way he did. I just let him vent, and I expected him to apologize the next day. But he never did. We have a mutual female friend. I met her through him (they are best friends). When all of this happened she was really worried about me, and took me under her wing to help cheer me up. She was very disappointed in his actions, but she has been a good friend to both of us - she has never gone back and forth behind our backs and she has never repeated anything said between us unless it was important. My ex is incredibly jealous of our relationship. Two weeks after he left me, I was out with her at a night club where we had some photos taken and put on Facebook. He saw us together and immediately started harassing me through text, even started threatening to lie to our friend and say I said horrible things about her. (He had me blocked on Facebook, but still had my number - after he said the night before for abusing me over some gifts I had sent him the mail "DELETE MY NUMBER LIKE I AM DELETING YOURS". So I did, yet he didn't delete mine?") I didn't bite back that night, I just let him act that way and our friend was pretty pissed off at him in the end. About a week after that, I found out through another mutual friend that he was "seeing someone else". I didn't really want to know of his actions or life by this stage, but sometimes you can't help who tells you what. So I thought I'd be the bigger person and send him a quick message on Facebook for closure. Just saying I was happy for him and I hope it goes well. (He had unblocked me?). Then as soon as I sent it, and he read it - he blocked me AGAIN? So I was pretty fed up and done with his childishness by this stage. Being in an angry mood I sent him a message through an old Facebook account, and said that what he has done has serve me nothing but DEFINITE CLOSURE. I told him the way he had been acting was uncalled for, ridiculous and childish and he needed to WAKE UP to himself. After that message I deleted my old Facebook account and never looked back. I have really been starting to get over him these last two weeks. Things have been great and I have been pretty happy. If anything it was his nasty behavior that really put me off. I'm not even angry anymore, just disappointed. So a couple of days ago, our close mutual friend had told me that my ex was harassing her again for being friends with me. I feel so bad that he still continues to do this even a month and two weeks later. I apologized profusely to her, but she said it was okay and that apparently, the reason why my ex broke up with me is because, HE THINKS I CHEATED ON HIM!? She stood up for me of course and said that was completely false. I don't know what happened after that or how the conversation flowed, she offered to show me but I told her I would rather not see what he has to say because I am moving on and I don't need to be upset or hear his bull****. Since then, I noticed he had unblocked me on Facebook AGAIN. (I only knew because old comments and such appeared again). What I really need help with here, is what on Earth is he thinking? What are his intentions and is he just saying I cheated to make people angry at me? I know it shouldn't even matter to me anymore, but it does. I am curious. I need to understand what the hell is going through his head and why is he trying to bring my life down STILL? And is there a way to avoid this if he is? Does he have an ulterior motive? I want to be the one to take control this time and block him on Facebook, and LEAVE him blocked. But a friend said to me, "if you want to show you don't care, don't block him. Just don't even acknowledge him".
StrongLass Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Does he have an ulterior motive? Cheaters sometimes try to blame the innocent party if they're feeling guilty about their transgressions. Not saying that's for sure what happened here but it sounds like he's trying to get everyone on his side and leave you socially stranded at minimum. Luckily your friends aren't buying it. I want to be the one to take control this time and block him on Facebook, and LEAVE him blocked. But a friend said to me, "if you want to show you don't care, don't block him. Just don't even acknowledge him". Do what you feel comfortable with. If he's upsetting you with his complete dickery to the point where it's interfering with your own mental/emotional well being and recovery than BLOCK HIS *SS LIKE A BAD POP UP JINGLE!
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