If something bad happened to your EX ?

[bluegreen]

OK perhaps is bit bizarre question but I seen few post of people saying

he-she called me when this happened to them so it gave me this idea.

What would you do then in case they get really ill , loose family member or job, have accident stuff like that ?

 

Simple am sorry and keep on NC or rush to their side no matter how they treated you and would you let them know if some of this happened to you?

[athousandquestions]

depends. if he contacted me and told me that it had happened, i would say "I'm so sorry for your loss (or whatever the occasion is), are you alright?"

 

Just because they're your ex does not mean they should be treated like they aren't a human being. If he reached out, I would reply and be as nice as I felt was needed. I would NOT reach out if I simply heard from someone else that it had happened. It also depends on how long you were dating and such.

[bluegreen]

That sounds very reasonable and more or less I feel same its not about them deserving us being nice but its right thing to do.

And sometimes I really do hate those right things ...

[Leigh 87]

I would care deeply if anything happened to my ex. He is obviously not in romantic love with me anymore, or perhaps never was fully.... But we were once VERY close, so of course I would want to know.

 

I do not care in the same way I once did; it would not be the same as if I lost him when it would have been losing a partner. I would just feel very upset for HIM. It would not feel the same as losing a partner who you thought you had a future with. Different kind of pain.

[all_cats_rgray]

This sounds like one of those dream posts.

 

What if.. what if.

 

We wish so bad that they would come back to us.

 

We wish, what if something bad happened to them, they would fail in to are arms in tears.

 

We can't even have "normal" realistic dream of them coming back. We have to come up with elaborate fantasies. What if he loses his job, what if his sick father dies, his dog dies, he... something...

 

What if....

[bluegreen]

Actually you are wrong at least about me : ))

Its post like any other things happen no one has life bought and as I said few people asked and were surprised when their EX'S did not even offer them common courtesy of message in these situations.

[lop98]

One of these happened, and guess what? he still treated me like crap!. I learned my lesson, and I'm now at a stage where I couldn't care less... I obsess over the good memories but not only I wouldn't take him back, I wouldn't bat an eye if he loses a leg or his entire family. Wouldn't laugh either, just I'm out of his life, no reason to try to push my way back in, especially if it comes off as if I were taking advantage of the situation to get back in his life, when he put me out of it for a reason.

[mammasita]

Not my recent ex, but an ex that cheated on me passed in a motorcycle accident in 2009. We hadn't spoken for about a year when it happened. His mother asked me to attend his services but I couldn't bring myself to go.

[aloneinaz]

I think some factors would be how long you were together. If you were married for 15 years, knew the ex's parents well and one passed, yes, you should be made aware and send condolences. My ex wife and I have had a terrible post divorce relationship. She never forgave me for leaving her. I still gave her a friendly FYI text when a cat that lived with both of for 11 years during or marriage died 5 years after our divorce. I kept the cat. She appreciated the FYI and had a nice comment about the cat.

 

If it was 6 months or a year, I think thats a different cup of tea. My ex ended our toxic relationship. That said to me, she didn't want me in her life or the life of her children that I loved so much after 1.5 years together. That's a strong message and unless something happened to her kids, I wouldn't respond nor would I expect her to tell me about the death of a relative that I really didn't know that well anyway. Why tell me in the first place? I'm not in her life anymore.

[flitzanu]

OK perhaps is bit bizarre question but I seen few post of people saying

he-she called me when this happened to them so it gave me this idea.

What would you do then in case they get really ill , loose family member or job, have accident stuff like that ?

 

Simple am sorry and keep on NC or rush to their side no matter how they treated you and would you let them know if some of this happened to you?

 

i told my ex (about 6 mos after her dumping me) that my mother had a widow-maker heart attack (she's totally fine now). 3 weeks later, i got a text at 4am from her saying "sorry about your mom."

 

don't use tragedy as an excuse for interaction. they really don't care, and they are no longer your best friend.

[Ordinaryday]

when you break up with someone they are no longer a part of your life - their problems that used to be 'our' problems now are only 'her' problems.

 

I would do nothing, I would not reach out. If she contacted me to tell her something bad had happened I would simply say "I am sorry for your loss, I hope things get better. But I don't feel it is appropriate for us to be talking like this in light of the fact that you dumped me."

[simplyamazing]

i told my ex (about 6 mos after her dumping me) that my mother had a widow-maker heart attack (she's totally fine now). 3 weeks later, i got a text at 4am from her saying "sorry about your mom."

 

don't use tragedy as an excuse for interaction. they really don't care, and they are no longer your best friend.

 

 

Best advice ever. When I got sick in early May, about 2 weeks after my BU I wanted to tell my ex, I wanted her to be there for me. But I fought that urge. Best thing I ever did. Why? Because she wasn't going to tell me anything that I wanted to hear, outside of 'hope you get well soon'. It's pointless. She doesn't care. She's out of my life.

 

On the reverse, if ever put in the situation from an ex telling me about illness or tragedy, it would depend on the ex. My most recent ex, due the BU being bad... I would ignore it completely. But another ex, even though I don't have contact with her, if she ever sent me something about tragedy/illness, I would most definitely message back.

[Ordinaryday]

Best advice ever. When I got sick in early May, about 2 weeks after my BU I wanted to tell my ex, I wanted her to be there for me. But I fought that urge. Best thing I ever did. Why? Because she wasn't going to tell me anything that I wanted to hear, outside of 'hope you get well soon'. It's pointless. She doesn't care. She's out of my life.

 

On the reverse, if ever put in the situation from an ex telling me about illness or tragedy, it would depend on the ex. My most recent ex, due the BU being bad... I would ignore it completely. But another ex, even though I don't have contact with her, if she ever sent me something about tragedy/illness, I would most definitely message back.

 

 

sadly some people just like looking for ANY reason to contact their ex. if my father died, why on earth would I text my ex about it? and if she texted me, what on earth could she possibly say to make me feel better? nothing! when they dump you they become a stranger to you, and that means not reaching out in times of hardship

[simplyamazing]

sadly some people just like looking for ANY reason to contact their ex. if my father died, why on earth would I text my ex about it? and if she texted me, what on earth could she possibly say to make me feel better? nothing! when they dump you they become a stranger to you, and that means not reaching out in times of hardship

 

Yep. While I was sick (like, in the hospital sick), fighting the urge to contact made me a stronger person. It made NC easy, it's when I realized that I could do it... that I didn't need to ever speak to her again, and nearly 7 weeks later from the hospital.. still haven't had the urge yet.

[bluegreen]

Hm I don't still know that I would be able to do simple OK sorry that happened to you kind of text its to dry to cold. I successfully am doing NC and would not call him if anything happened to me it just depends on person I guess ...

[mutant]

I wouldn't know if something bad happened to the ex because I don't pick her calls or read her texts/emails. She is someone else's problem anyway and she can get help from the BF and/or her other exes who she's still in contact with.

 

However, I would send a message of condolence if she lost any of her close family members. I will never let her know about anything in my current life whether good or bad.

[bluegreen]

I can understand that desire its strange how time comes when you just don't want them to know anything about you anymore

[starlet86]

If anything happened to my ex, I would be devastated, I loved him once. When I was a young whipper snapper of 18 I went out with a boy who really treated me like a princess, he went off to the join the army and we broke up as I didn't want that life. 3yrs later (we had written and kept in touch) I was watching the news with my new boyfriend when I heard his name on tv and the announcement that he had been killed in war. It was heart wrenching. I still spoke to his mother and I sent her flowers with my condolences.

 

My most recent ex has the most adorable children who I was extremely close to and adored. I kissed their skint knees and settled them when they had nightmares at night, if anything happened to them, I would be heartbroken.

 

It really depends on the relationship you have had with the person and how close you were to the person who has gotten ill or passed.

[skydiveaddict]

What would you do then in case they get really ill , loose family member or job, have accident stuff like that ?

 

I would simply ask "why are you bothering me with this?"

[Bozena]

Well it depends on the ex. My most recent ex broke up with me when his mother died, so I took a valuable lesson. Never form a relationship with someone that has his parents alive

Recently I heard that his grieving doesn't go well and that he fell into depression. Well I am thinking of doing nothing. I believe that if someone needs you he/she will search for you.

Ιn any case, with the exes that I am on friendly terms I would definitely ask them if need help. With the others I wouldn't do anything. And when I had lost my mother and an ex contacted me, I was ready to tell him to go to hell because I had told him so many times that I don't want to hear anything from him (I don't recall, maybe I actually told him).

So it depends on the case I guess.

[hotpotato]

First of all, we are in nc so I wouldn't know. Now suppose I did answer... I'd be like, "Where is your girl?" He'd better call his new gf. He picked her, and she should be at his side. He chose to not have me in his life, so be it. If she wasn't supportive of him, he picked her, and thats his problem.

 

Now for my former ex (been apart going on 4 years) thats a different story. He left me, then came back for forgiveness. I dont think we'll date again though he has suggested it. He is my friend, we've known each other 7 years. I would do what I could to make him feel better even if that meant flying to Vegas to support him.

[UVict]

I've been on both sides, but mostly receiving.

 

I broke NC the other week to talk to her about my parents separating. At the time I wanted someone to talk to. When she called me back the next day I wasn't sure, but I used it to vent. As soon as the call was over, I regretted it, I thought why does she need to know about my parents?

 

She has called me on several occasions, mostly just after breaking up. She called me at 4am a month after we broke up crying, saying she was suicidal. Being only a month after we broke up I felt that it was the right thing to see her, regardless that she was my ex - suicide is serious.

I also comforted her after her sister attempted suicide - again recently after the break up.

 

However since then things got messy and I can't forgive what she did, as well as having no respect for her. If she comes back from overseas and calls me being depressed or suicidal I'm going to be telling her its not my place anymore. She has a new boyfriend, that's his problem. It's also her problem that he is overseas and can't be there physically to help. I'm not there to play back up friend when its convenient for her.

[mutant]

I've been on both sides, but mostly receiving.

 

I broke NC the other week to talk to her about my parents separating. At the time I wanted someone to talk to. When she called me back the next day I wasn't sure, but I used it to vent. As soon as the call was over, I regretted it, I thought why does she need to know about my parents?

 

She has called me on several occasions, mostly just after breaking up. She called me at 4am a month after we broke up crying, saying she was suicidal. Being only a month after we broke up I felt that it was the right thing to see her, regardless that she was my ex - suicide is serious.

I also comforted her after her sister attempted suicide - again recently after the break up.

 

However since then things got messy and I can't forgive what she did, as well as having no respect for her. If she comes back from overseas and calls me being depressed or suicidal I'm going to be telling her its not my place anymore. She has a new boyfriend, that's his problem. It's also her problem that he is overseas and can't be there physically to help. I'm not there to play back up friend when its convenient for her.

 

This is being selfish. You broke up with her but still called to vent on your personal issues? but now you won't talk to her because she has found someone else?

[bluegreen]

First of all, we are in nc so I wouldn't know. Now suppose I did answer... I'd be like, "Where is your girl?" He'd better call his new gf. He picked her, and she should be at his side. He chose to not have me in his life, so be it. If she wasn't supportive of him, he picked her, and thats his problem.

 

Now for my former ex (been apart going on 4 years) thats a different story. He left me, then came back for forgiveness. I dont think we'll date again though he has suggested it. He is my friend, we've known each other 7 years. I would do what I could to make him feel better even if that meant flying to Vegas to support him.

 

 

That is very true and those years are long time just to throw away

[J_L_C]

This happened to me. I got a diagnosis and told my ex--no reply. At one point months later he simply said "heal up well" and a few months later told me he didn't care if I died.