Melissa7611 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Just remember...though the door may be left a little open....u should not give ur hopes up. u have laid it on the line and if she isn't serious with this other guy, and wants to date u...she'll make the move! For now...go about ur business and be her friend. That's all u can do! Maybe..one day..friends can turn into something else??? HEY..YOU NEVER KNOW...It's just a thought! Just dont count on it! Im sorry if im being a downer...but there isnt much u can do! Try and Smile!!!
ThumbingMyWay Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 Just remember...though the door may be left a little open....u should not give ur hopes up. u have laid it on the line and if she isn't serious with this other guy, and wants to date u...she'll make the move! For now...go about ur business and be her friend. That's all u can do! Maybe..one day..friends can turn into something else??? HEY..YOU NEVER KNOW...It's just a thought! Just dont count on it! Im sorry if im being a downer...but there isnt much u can do! Try and Smile!!! I agree.....its in HER court now.... BUT to save on heart ache....dont hold the torch for too long....I would accept it as it is....and if someday she makes a move and you still feel the sparkl.....then eveyone is happy....
alicia24 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 so sorry that she is seeing someone else. you sound like a great person. keep your chin up and chalk this one up as a learning experience.
Author iceisles Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 How should I handle her birthday? Should I get her a gift anyway? Part me of feels like I should be friends, and part of me thinks I should just regroup and move on. I have never had much luck being friends with someone I'm crazy about, so I'm not so sure I really want to initiate any more contact with her. As for the possibility of the door being left open, that may or may not be the case, and I'm not going to assume anything unless she comes out and says it.
Melissa7611 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Listen...if i were u..i wouldnt give her a present. Not only does it make it hard for u..it may be a little weird for her...especially because she knows how u feel. If u want get her a card! That's it! And in regards to the door being left open...Like i said....dont count on it! It's all up to her now! There is nothing that you can do or say. Move on....and if u feel like u cant be friends with her, b/c of ur feelings...that's ok. U dont have too. At least not right now. Maybe later..after u have gotten over everything!! But definetely move on! You are sooo worth it!!!
Amberaine Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 I agree with Melissa. Maybe once you have let go of your feelings for her you can have a friendship. I don't think it would be healthy for you to continue constant communication right now and it will take longer for you to move on if you do. We don't know what the future holds and thats what makes it exciting. I will be okay and what is meant to be will be.
Author iceisles Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 I appreciate the kind words, Melissa. Maybe I will just get her a card and that's all. The only thing is she knows that I was planning on getting her a gift because I had her boss hint around for me. Won't it be kind of rude if now all she gets is a card? I certainly don't want to give the appearance of not getting her something just because things didn't work out. Honestly, I really don't think I can talk to her for awhile. She knows how I feel, and she has my number. If she wants to talk, she'll call me. Once I get past these feelings, do I want to be friends? Definitely. But I just can't do that right now - call it a conflict of emotions, of sorts. I am very happy that I will be able to go home tonight and say that I don't have any regrets about not going for this, though.
Melissa7611 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 O.K. If ur concerned about being rude by not getting her a present..dont be!!! If u really dont want her to think that u are upset or dissappointed about everything..a card will suffice. Just because the boss hinted around, doesnt mean she expects u to get her something. Man..if u really want to..get her a balloon..that says happy bday too...but please..dont go out of ur way! A card is sometimes better than a gift. I like ur thinking...at least u can say u tried and u dont have any regrets. Just take it easy and minimize contact with her for now!@ jUst till ur ok with everything. You dont have to stop saying hi to her..just dont go over and email her all the time..be friendly when u see her..that's all
Author iceisles Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 She definitely knows that I was going to get her something, but maybe I can write something in the card that will (indirectly) explain why I didn't feel comfortable getting an actual gift? I'm probably just going to move past her - I've learned not to wait around for things that may or may not come. If things are meant to be, then they will work out in the end. If I pass her in the hall, I will say "hi", but I am going to make every effort to minimize contact with her, because I really need to. If I got over my ex (well, enough anyway) in just a few weeks, this shouldn't take long to pass. BTW, is there a singles forum on LS? I'm definitely not opposed to meeting people from different states, etc.
Melissa7611 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Listen...u dont need to explain why u didnt get her a gift! There is no need! Trust me...she knows! She doesnt expect a gift from u..i wouldn't after all of this!@ Trust Me! If it is really bugging you, get her a card, and a box of chocolates or something. Something so simple, that it doesnt look like u are still having lots of feelings for her. U are too nice and dont need to be worried about this! Just get the card and say happy bday...hope you have a good day..blah..blah...and that's it! A box of chocolates, a small potted plant..i dont know...just dont go out of ur way! Singles forum??? I dont know about one here! If there is one...it would be cool to meet people that way!!! im glad ur open to meeting people from other states! Listen...i have a feeling if u stick around here...people who thought u were cute and were intersted or wanted to get to know u better will contact u...too me ..it sounded like u had alot of admirers in the beginning.
Author iceisles Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 im glad ur open to meeting people from other states! Listen...i have a feeling if u stick around here...people who thought u were cute and were intersted or wanted to get to know u better will contact u...too me ..it sounded like u had alot of admirers in the beginning. I'd be more than happy to talk to anyone who's interested. I have quite a bit of free time to talk and am always up for meeting new people.
Author iceisles Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 I'm really happy that I gave this 110%. I guess I just expected things to go a little better, though. It goes to show that effort doesn't always equate to success. I'll give her a card next Friday, then that will be it from me. We both enjoy talking to each other and want to remain friends, only I want that to extend outside of the office. I'll be more than happy to talk to her if she calls me at home, but I won't be stopping by or e-mailing her at work anymore. I don't expect her to ever call, but it would be really nice if she did one day. I just know that I won't be able to be friends with her (and initiate contact) until these feelings pass, which probably won't be until I find someone else. And that, as we know, isn't something that usually comes quickly. P.S. Even though I opened up to her, I did promise that I wouldn't bring any of this up if she decided to call. I felt it was important that she knew that.
Author iceisles Posted November 4, 2004 Author Posted November 4, 2004 On the strong advice of some trusted friends, I have decided to downgrade her birthday recognition to a very simple e-card. She will probably expect more than that given what she knows about me, but I think it's for the best. Besides, I'm sure her boyfriend wouldn't appreciate me getting her a gift, no matter how small.
Author iceisles Posted November 5, 2004 Author Posted November 5, 2004 On second thought, I'm not doing anything. What's the point? I don't feel comortable even sending her an e-card anyway.
Author iceisles Posted December 26, 2004 Author Posted December 26, 2004 At this point, is there anything wrong with asking her if she has some single friends? Let's be honest - her boyfriend won't be stupid enough to let her get away, and I know she has a lot of friends. Is there any way I can pose this question without coming off as desperate? It's just that I always look for help whenever I can get it. Thanks for your thoughts.
SoleMate Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Asking about single friends - that is a personal judgment call. It could be construed as sweet, or desperate, or insulting. How about just trying to make platonic friends with her and her boyfriend? Than they'll start inclduing you in activities - and you will naturally meet the available people they know. Just a thought.
Author iceisles Posted December 26, 2004 Author Posted December 26, 2004 Originally posted by SoleMate Asking about single friends - that is a personal judgment call. It could be construed as sweet, or desperate, or insulting. How about just trying to make platonic friends with her and her boyfriend? Than they'll start inclduing you in activities - and you will naturally meet the available people they know. Just a thought. With our relationship in this siutation, that will never happen - take my word for it. I think if I ask her, it won't be taken as desperation. In fact, she will probably be glad to know that I have moved past my romantic interest in her. It just always feels funny asking someone if they have any single friends, but I guess it can't hurt.
indigo_moon Posted December 26, 2004 Posted December 26, 2004 Originally posted by iceisles With our relationship in this siutation, that will never happen - take my word for it. I think if I ask her, it won't be taken as desperation. In fact, she will probably be glad to know that I have moved past my romantic interest in her. It just always feels funny asking someone if they have any single friends, but I guess it can't hurt. I read through your thread this morning and so hoped to read a happy ending, you seem like a totally sweet guy, wish I'd met someone like you when I was in my early 20s! :-) Anyway, I'm just curious why you'd consider asking HER if she has single friends........surely she's not the only person near your age where you work who would have single friends...............why not ask someone else? She might find it awkward for you to ask this, considering you once obviously were interested in her..........and she might also be concerned that you're asking this all because you want to somehow be close to her, be involved in her life/with her friends, to eventually date her? Why don't you ask your boss if he knows of any single people your age there at work?
Author iceisles Posted December 26, 2004 Author Posted December 26, 2004 Originally posted by indigo_moon I read through your thread this morning and so hoped to read a happy ending, you seem like a totally sweet guy, wish I'd met someone like you when I was in my early 20s! :-) Anyway, I'm just curious why you'd consider asking HER if she has single friends........surely she's not the only person near your age where you work who would have single friends...............why not ask someone else? She might find it awkward for you to ask this, considering you once obviously were interested in her..........and she might also be concerned that you're asking this all because you want to somehow be close to her, be involved in her life/with her friends, to eventually date her? Why don't you ask your boss if he knows of any single people your age there at work? Awwww, thanks for the kind words. You think she might find it awkward? Hmmm, I never really considered that. There are others I can ask, and I plan to. The reason I wanted to ask Rebecca is because she was VERY popular in college (head of the cheerleading team, etc.) and I'm sure she might know someone. My boss, who is around 50, doesn't know that many people my age, plus that would be kind of awkward asking him to set me up with someone. Lol. As for the outcome, I was hoping for a happy ending, too, but I am at least glad that I found the confidence to go for it.
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