Melissa7611 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 we'll if you feel like you are playing a game...then do something about it. Just go for it. Stop wondering what she is thinking...and just make a move. Wouldn't it be nice to know how she feels..whether it's a positive or a negative. If she tells you that she's not interested... her loss. If she happens to be interested..great! Either way, it's time to stop wondering and make ur move. Ask her to lunch, dinner or ask her for her phone number..whatever! Just do something. Good Luck!
Author iceisles Posted October 27, 2004 Author Posted October 27, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 we'll if you feel like you are playing a game...then do something about it. Just go for it. Stop wondering what she is thinking...and just make a move. Wouldn't it be nice to know how she feels..whether it's a positive or a negative. If she tells you that she's not interested... her loss. If she happens to be interested..great! Either way, it's time to stop wondering and make ur move. Ask her to lunch, dinner or ask her for her phone number..whatever! Just do something. Good Luck! I'm thinking of asking her to get lunch next week - how does that sound? Her response may be a precursor to how she may take asking her out to dinner. I agree, though, I want to keep this moving forward.
Melissa7611 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Do it! Ask her to lunch! See how it goes..and if all is well..then ask her out for dinner or whatever! The important thing is to keep the ball rolling. Just see how it goes. That's all you can do. Just remeber...regardless of her answer...you'll have urs. And that way..you can move on...with or without her. Keep us posted
Author iceisles Posted October 27, 2004 Author Posted October 27, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 Do it! Ask her to lunch! See how it goes..and if all is well..then ask her out for dinner or whatever! The important thing is to keep the ball rolling. Just see how it goes. That's all you can do. Just remeber...regardless of her answer...you'll have urs. And that way..you can move on...with or without her. Keep us posted I like your thinking - simple and concise. I'd like to know what she's thinking, and her response to my lunch invitation should be a good barometer of that. Even if she declines my offer, I should be able to gauge her interest level in me by how she responds.
Melissa7611 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Good...im glad you agree. You'll know how she feels when u ask her to lunch. Good luck with everything...and remember.....DON"T OVER ANALYZE EVERYTHING!! it's enough to drive oneself crazy. Just go with ur feelings and take it from there. What do you have to lose?
Amberaine Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 I agree with Melissa. You stated earlier that she's really nice and might have a hard time turning you down so lets hope you can get a good reading off of asking her out to lunch. Just be direct but easygoing about it and now matter what happens you now have tons of women that want to go out with you just from this thread. lol so go and get em!
Author iceisles Posted October 27, 2004 Author Posted October 27, 2004 Originally posted by Amberaine I agree with Melissa. You stated earlier that she's really nice and might have a hard time turning you down so lets hope you can get a good reading off of asking her out to lunch. Just be direct but easygoing about it and now matter what happens you now have tons of women that want to go out with you just from this thread. lol so go and get em! Lol - if only some of them lived closer. Since he's fully supporting my pursuit, what do you all think about the idea of having her boss "accidentally" slipping about me wanting to ask her out? I figure he could say that tomorrow, and then I'd ask her out to lunch or something on Friday if her reaction is positive. She's shy and may appreciate a little forewarning anyway.
Melissa7611 Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Nope! Don't continue with these little hints or asking the boss to mention something about you. Seriously, i really think she must know something is up right now. If she doesn't i'd be surprised..but hey...you never know..some girls are just clueless. Just stick with your plan and just ask her out to lunch and then take it from there. Believe me...comming from someone who used to overanalyze things....your gonna go nuts overthinking every little move you make. So stop it! And just go with it. Like i said earlier....see what happens...if she's ends up not being into u...like Amberaine said...there seems to be alot of girls here that would love to go out with you. And distance? don't be too worried about the distance factor. Yes..it is defintely nice having someone who is physically close to you...but dont dismiss the whole idea...you never know...you could be missing out on something or someone real wonderful Again...just go for it! It's NOW or NEVER!
Amberaine Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Honestly, even if her boss does mention something it does not sound like you would get a true reading off it because she sounds sweet. Also if she does like you back it could embarrass her, maybe she is a private person. Women normally don't really get into someone until they get to know them. Communication and a Connection is the key that is why the lunch date would work great!
Author iceisles Posted October 27, 2004 Author Posted October 27, 2004 Thanks to both of you. I won't do anything tomorrow and instead just send her an e-mail early Friday (I'll do this in case she just works half a day). When I ask her out to lunch, should I express how much I enjoy talking to her? I so badly want to open my heart to her, even if it's just a little bit. I won't say too much, but if this does turn out to be the last time I e-mail her, I really want her to know how I feel. I believe in openness and honesty, and it does feel like the right time to express these emotions. If she's not interested, I'll completely understand. I just want her to know how much I would love a chance to get to know her better. I may still mention asking her out to her boss just to see if he says something like "You may not want to do that", etc., but I won't have him say anything to her. As an aside, there are so many nice girls on here, and I'm definitely not opposed to a long distance relationship. If there is ever anyone who would like to talk to me, my door is always open.
Melissa7611 Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 How about just sending her the email. And that's it...maybe just saying hello and you just wanted to see how she doing. That's it. If you want you can talk to her boss and maybe mention something to him about asking her out..maybe to get some feedback. But leave it at that. And dont mention to her your feelings for her..not in the email and not at lunch. Try to keep it cool.. Because you may overwhelm her with all those feelings. So..this is what i suggest..go ahead send her the email tom. keep it simple and short. Then go ahead and when u decide as her to lunch. However, dont wait too long to ask her. Just do it! I know that you have alot of feelings towards her..but just be careful not telling her too much..like...Yeah..i have liked you for a while...none of that! Just keep it cool! And im glad that u are not opposed to long distance relationships. Because..HEy...you never know....just keep your options open..and good luck
Melissa7611 Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 How about just sending her the email. And that's it...maybe just saying hello and you just wanted to see how she doing. That's it. If you want you can talk to her boss and maybe mention something to him about asking her out..maybe to get some feedback. But leave it at that. And dont mention to her your feelings for her..not in the email and not at lunch. Try to keep it cool.. Because you may overwhelm her with all those feelings. So..this is what i suggest..go ahead send her the email tom. keep it simple and short. Then go ahead and when u decide as her to lunch. However, dont wait too long to ask her. Just do it! I know that you have alot of feelings towards her..but just be careful not telling her too much..like...Yeah..i have liked you for a while...none of that! Just keep it cool! And im glad that u are not opposed to long distance relationships. Because..HEy...you never know....just keep your options open..and good luck
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Is there anything wrong with saying how much I enjoy talking to her? I know if it was me, I would really like to hear something like that. All people like to feel appreciated, and I do want to break away from the strictly casual e-mails a little bit. I'll do my best not to overdo it.
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Much to my surprise, there was the following e-mail in my inbox this morning: I have been meaning to e-mail and tell you thanks for the cookies and the card. That was really nice of you. I am glad that you had a good time with your parents, I know that you probably wished that it was longer. Well just wanted to say thanks again:) Rebecca This made me so happy! I wrote back a brief message just thanking her for being so nice to me when I stopped by the first time and asked her if she was going to watch the Halloween costume parade here today. I also threw in a joke or two about the kind of costumes I thought about wearing. This has to be a good sign that she e-mailed me, right? I have decided that I will e-mail her again tomorrow to wish her a nice Halloween, at which time I'll casually invite her to lunch next week. Because she is still contacting me, I wil completely hold off on telling her how I feel and just play it cool. I am hoping this invitation will be more than enough to show how I feel without actually coming out and saying it.
Melissa7611 Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 It is a good sign that she emailed you. However...just to be a bit cautious..dont look too much into it...im just saying this as a measure of safety. It;s still not too clear, u dont know if she likes u , or if she is being friendly. I think you'll definetly know when u ask her out to lunch and are able to talk to her. I hope i didnt deter u..when i told you not to tell her too much about how u feel..i just think that u shouldn't give her too much information in regards to ur feelings...not yet! It's too soon for that. Some girls can be turned off real quick..if someone starts revealing all their feelings all too quick. Then again some girls love it. It's all up to the person. Im just saying it would be kinda weird..if i went out with this guy to lunch and it was the first time that we had gotten together to talk, and he all the sudden..laid it on me..on how he has always liked me...and that he has been wanting to get to know me...you know what i mean....JUST PACE urself...reveal all ur feelings slowly...if u get to! Good luck again
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 It is a good sign that she emailed you. However...just to be a bit cautious..dont look too much into it...im just saying this as a measure of safety. It;s still not too clear, u dont know if she likes u , or if she is being friendly. I think you'll definetly know when u ask her out to lunch and are able to talk to her. I hope i didnt deter u..when i told you not to tell her too much about how u feel..i just think that u shouldn't give her too much information in regards to ur feelings...not yet! It's too soon for that. Some girls can be turned off real quick..if someone starts revealing all their feelings all too quick. Then again some girls love it. It's all up to the person. Im just saying it would be kinda weird..if i went out with this guy to lunch and it was the first time that we had gotten together to talk, and he all the sudden..laid it on me..on how he has always liked me...and that he has been wanting to get to know me...you know what i mean....JUST PACE urself...reveal all ur feelings slowly...if u get to! Good luck again You're right. I'm just going to ask her to lunch tomorrow and see what happens. She also has a birthday coming up Nov. 13th, so hopefully I can get her feeling even more comfortable with me by then so I can get her a thoughtful gift. BTW, what's a good gift to get for someone when you have no idea what they like? I guess it will have to be something universal, but any examples would be appreciated. Thanks.
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Also, is it ok if I do the invitation via e-mail? I'm certainly not afraid to talk to her, but not having to make a on-the-spot decision would take a lot of pressure off her. I realize she has more time to think about it that way, but I'm trying to not be too pushy by just walking into her office and asking her on what is essentially a "mini-date".
Amberaine Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 Good News on the email . Well the gift will depend on how well you get to know her from now until her birthday. But if you do get friendlier a great gift for a mom would be a certificate for a massage or something for her to pamper herself with. That would be thoughtful and relaxing for her which if she is under stress might work wonders. Just see how it goes with asking her to lunch tomorrow, I think she appreciates your thoughtfulness but it sounds like she may be going thru some stuff right now and needs an escape. Hey maybe it will be you!!! If this matters to you, she is a Scorpio and they are private people who don't let people in the business easily so don't pry just be there and stay upbeat.
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Originally posted by Amberaine Good News on the email . Well the gift will depend on how well you get to know her from now until her birthday. But if you do get friendlier a great gift for a mom would be a certificate for a massage or something for her to pamper herself with. That would be thoughtful and relaxing for her which if she is under stress might work wonders. Just see how it goes with asking her to lunch tomorrow, I think she appreciates your thoughtfulness but it sounds like she may be going thru some stuff right now and needs an escape. Hey maybe it will be you!!! If this matters to you, she is a Scorpio and they are private people who don't let people in the business easily so don't pry just be there and stay upbeat. Thanks, I was really happy about the e-mail. The massage things sounds great, as I do think she is under a lot of stress right now. Her boss also said he will try to come up with a good idea, as he kind of knows what she's into. I'd like this gift to be a little more personal, which is why I appreciate all of your suggestions. As for the astrology, her description as a Scorpio seems to be dead on. She pretty much keeps to herself and is a little shy, which may explain why she hasn't come over to my office despite being friendly with me.
Melissa7611 Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 O.K. about the present..why dont u wait a bit and go out to luch with her..that way u can get more of an idea on things she likes or doesnt like. So wait on that..just see how the lunch date goes. And in regards to asking her to luch via email?? Im not too sure on that...I know you want her to not have to make a deciscion right on the spot...so..it's really up to you. I think i would prefer it...if i guy came to ask me to luch. Do it nonchalently. (did i spell that right). I mean if u say...Hey (her name) is it rebecca? Say...hey rebecca..i was just wondering if you'd like to go have lunch tom...or whatever day u decide... Just make it a friendly thing. See how it goes...and feel it out from there..If all is well during the lunch date..then i would ask her to see if she wanted to get together for dinner one night or if you are still not sure..ask her for her phone number. So..wait on the present..till u have an opportunity to find out her likes/dislikes..and in regards to the email..it's up to you...but i would much rather have a guy ask me in person
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 Originally posted by Melissa7611 O.K. about the present..why dont u wait a bit and go out to luch with her..that way u can get more of an idea on things she likes or doesnt like. So wait on that..just see how the lunch date goes. And in regards to asking her to luch via email?? Im not too sure on that...I know you want her to not have to make a deciscion right on the spot...so..it's really up to you. I think i would prefer it...if i guy came to ask me to luch. Do it nonchalently. (did i spell that right). I mean if u say...Hey (her name) is it rebecca? Say...hey rebecca..i was just wondering if you'd like to go have lunch tom...or whatever day u decide... Just make it a friendly thing. See how it goes...and feel it out from there..If all is well during the lunch date..then i would ask her to see if she wanted to get together for dinner one night or if you are still not sure..ask her for her phone number. So..wait on the present..till u have an opportunity to find out her likes/dislikes..and in regards to the email..it's up to you...but i would much rather have a guy ask me in person As always, thanks for the post, Melissa. I'll definitely wait on the gift until I have a clearer idea of what she likes. I was just looking for general ideas of things you can get someone when you really don't know what they are into. I do hope that she will have lunch with me and that I can get some ideas during that conversation. Normally when people ask me for advice, I often strongly encourage face-to-face contact (that's how it was before the Internet, anyway. Lol). However, given the fact that she is shy, I am concerned that even a casual "I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch", etc. may make her feel a little pressured. I'm not considering the e-mail as an easy way out for me - in fact, I'd love to walk over and just talk to her. I just want to be really sensitive to how she might be feeling right now, especially when I can't be certain of what she's thinking. I will consider all opinions on this before I head to work in the morning, so feel free to pass along your thoughts.
Melissa7611 Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 She may be shy..that i get..and yes an email makes it easier...but have you thought about this..what if she doesnt email you back? What if it takes her days to decide...are u gonna like waiting around wondering if she got ur email, if she is going to respond...im not saying she wont answer you back..but you never know, I am a scorpio too..and at times i can be shy..but if im not sure about something..i usually say..ill get back to you. Im not sure that the email is the right way to go...but ultimately it's up to u. If you ask her casually...she's more likely to give you a direct response instead of u waiting around for an email. Besides...you'll know her answer right then and there. She'll either want to or not. Im sure everything is going to work out. Think positive and if this girl is as great as you think she is...then i wish nothing but the best for you. Good luck tomorrow
Author iceisles Posted October 28, 2004 Author Posted October 28, 2004 I'm not ruling out going over to talk to her tomorrow. I really want to, it's just that I don't want do anything to damage my chances with her. Part of the problem with going over is that it's a crapshoot - sometimes there's no one around, and other times there's people walking by - making talking at her desk difficult. Hence, one reason why I want her join me for lunch.
SoleMate Posted October 28, 2004 Posted October 28, 2004 so I can get her a thoughtful gift. BTW, what's a good gift to get for someone when you have no idea what they like? Yikes! Do NOT buy her a birthday gift! And the massage gift certificate is just too personal and intimate, not to mention extravagant, for someone you are just getting to know. Any suggestion that you think her body could benefit from being rubbed - even if it is commercially accomplished - would seem intrusive, IMO. The most I would suggest is a nice little flowering plant for her desk. SMALL PLANT...she is not your gf...therefore you MUST NOT give her lavish gifts. It looks desperate, and/or like buying her friendship. Others may disagree.
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