wanting to be with your ex again.

[ZSelby1]

Ok so let me start at the beginning. In my junior year of high school (I'm 20 by the way), I started going out with this girl and I feel deeply in love with her. We dated all throughout high school and we talked about getting engaged when we were seniors. The only problem is that we started to argue a lot and after we graduated and the summer before I went off to college (she did not go to college) she said she needed to take a break and she dated other people but she still would talk to me and tell me she loved me and we would see each other and would treat each other like we were a couple.

 

One day she said that we were going to get back together and we saw each other on her birthday right before I went to college. Two weeks later when I was in football camp she said she couldn't do this anymore and that she wasn't happy. Two days after our two year anniversary, she broke up with me and was with someone else immediately after. She would still text me, telling me about how she hadn't taken off a ring that I had given her on our first Christmas (more of a promise ring). One night she texted me saying that she loved me and then the very next night she told me to leave her alone and her boyfriend got involved saying to leave her alone too. This was very hard for me, and I still tried to contact her to the point of harassment because all I wanted was better closure than a leave me alone text, which is stupid but and not a good look.

 

The last thing she said to me was that she never loved me and that she hated me. She would block me on Facebook, only to unblock me again. Five months after we broke up, she got engaged to her current boyfriend. This made things worse for me as I sadly was already starting to lose my mind, which again is stupid and dumb on my part to let that happen to me. Eventually I got angry and I posted my side of the story on Facebook and so did she and things got really personal. After this, I decided to try and let it go like I should've done in the first place. Two months later I got in a relationship with another girl that I am still with and am very much in love with.

 

I didn't think about my ex through all this time and one day I decided to check on her Facebook to see how she's doing. She is still engaged but she doesn't wear her ring in her profile pictures. I started to feel guilty about all the things I said to and about her so I sent an apology to her and her fiance. He replied back saying it was all ok, while she did not reply and she deactivated her account only to reactivate it a week later.

 

My question is that now I have some somewhat serious feelings for my ex after almost two years and at the same time I love my current girlfriend. I am very confused right now and I don't know what to feel. I've thought about sending my ex a friend request but I don't want to start more drama. So what exactly do I do?

Edited June 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
added paragraphs

[Simon Phoenix]

Nothing. She's engaged -- what's done is done. It doesn't sound like she wants anything to do with you right now, if ever. Leave her alone and let her live her life. Not to mention it'd be disrespectful as hell to the girl you are seeing.

 

You tried with your ex, it didn't work. She hasn't shown any inclination that she wants anything to do with you. Let it be.

[RespectfullyAlone]

I know the feeling of your ex being engaged to someone else. It's horrible.

 

It would be easy of me to dispense some advice to you ZSelby1, but I do understand some things you are going through.

 

I looks to me as though your ex contacts you in moments of uncertainty in her life. If things are not going well with her new guy, she contacts you right? And then even a day later she tells you to leave her alone? If that's the case, there is nothing you can do, accept nothing! Do and say nothing when it comes to her. It doesn't matter what she said a year ago or during the time you were together, or that she still has feelings for you. Her actions are showing differently.

 

You have been stalking her to some degree. Despite how hard and how much pain it will cause you, you have to let her go. If she ever does reach out to you and wants to communicate, then at that point you can be concerned about what you want to say, if you still have feelings for her. She's not so concerned about your feelings right now either, and her contacting you and giving all kinds of mixed signals is not fair on you either. But she's not giving up anything is she. She's still with her guy, gives you a little breadcrumb, says I love you, then the next day says leave me alone. Look at her actions, because what she is saying will never add up. It will never make sense.

 

There is nothing more dangerous than a young indecisive girl in my own experiences. It can wreck you so hard, and take years to recover from. Don't lend your heart so easily.

 

Do not check on her Facebook page again. Do not txt her, do not message her. She is gone. I know you want her back, or want some closure, but you won't get it. All you will do is push her into the arms of her new guy.

 

Now you are lucky, you have a new girl already. That is great . See where that goes. With time and I hope for your sake luck, she might turn out to be far better than this other girl who were with. And I say girl, because wearing some promise ring you gave her, but she leaving you and getting with a new guy right way, then getting engaged to him. What on earth does that ring represent? Throw it away. Delete here messages, her txts, her pictures.

 

The only confusion you should be feeling is do you honestly have feelings for your new girl, or is she there to help ease the pain until you think your ex will come back. If she is a nice girl, be honest with her. She does not deserve to have her heart broken either by your actions.

Edited June 23, 2013 by RespectfullyAlone