fiftyofsomethin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Hey guys. It's just become a weekly occurrence now apparently. It's slightly hard to explain, so I'll just try and make it simple. I met my ex's friend before I met my ex. I had developed slight feelings for her before her friend introduced me to my ex and then I all but lost those feelings. I have retained this strong interest in staying friends with my ex's friend because she is actually a very cool person. Very open, very kind, very fun, etc. However, since my breakup with my ex, we have all but just lost touch. She doesn't like/favorite posts on Facebook, Twitter like she used to (I know, vain as hell to care about that), in fact, she simply ignores me completely on social media, yet we still exchange the occasional text and she does not seem at all to harbor negative feelings towards me, she is still very kind and excited. We used to go on these awesome hangouts with me, my ex, her friend, and maybe a couple other people. I must say I was at my happiest when I was in these situations. It was awesome to be around all these people I enjoyed so much. Well, since the breakup, it appears that both my ex and her friend have begun to hang out with and talk to this one guy I know from our high school and a couple of his friends. Like on Facebook, I saw he posted these pictures from this awesome day/night they had just driving around, doing fun stuff, going to random places, etc. And that's literally exactly what I did when I started talking to my ex. And that's how we developed feelings for each other. In fact, I have a VERY strong hunch that this is exactly what is happening with my ex now. And after all of this, I simply cannot help but feel replaced, forgotten, left behind, left out of their lives. I just don't really know what I should do about this? I have lost not only my ex in this breakup (Which I have mostly gotten over), but I have also lost some damn good friends too. I don't know. I just feel.... forgotten. All thoughts and opinions regarding this are appreciated. - Fifty
Author fiftyofsomethin Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Yeah. I was just checking Instagram and one of the guys posted this vine-like video (apparently Instagram has video now) of them doing a Chinese-fire drill and just screwing around late at night. And damn. They are having so much fun. Why does it just kill me so much to see my ex and her friend and everyone really just having fun so much late into the night and just generally being so much happier than me? I have been having fun too, but I have had no girls to talk to, I have generally gotten out of touch with my other friends from school already and it's honestly depressing to witness this. I don't know. I feel sick. I know if I just forget about it, I'm fine. But I cannot help but hold onto this feeling that there is something I need to do about it. I feel paralyzed by my fear of inactivity. I need help.
Hopeinme Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 What you feel is completely normal. I suggest that you restrain yourself from looking at pics of them. And delete them off your instagram. Out of sight, out of mind.
Author fiftyofsomethin Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 What you feel is completely normal. I suggest that you restrain yourself from looking at pics of them. And delete them off your instagram. Out of sight, out of mind. I know! I am actually doing quite well when I am just sitting here enjoying my time away fromt her/them. But the second I see my ex's smiling face with a bunch of people on Facebook having fun, it just kills me. It's very clear to me what I WANT to be true. I want her to miss me and not have fun without me, however, that is simply not true and I cannot change her mind for her. It's easy to just forget about her and stop thinking about her, but the second I have these thoughts about the details of what she is doing, like maybe something small like her and this guy sending "good morning" texts to each other just make me sick. They have what I once had, and I wish it wasn't so. But if I also step back and look at all of this, I DO realize that none of it really matters. My ex, her friend, ANYONE from school... it's just SO damned easy to fall back into the mindset of lack and feel trapped in this "terrible" situation. I need to learn how to cut off these feelings at the root so I don't get set into these depressive moods so easily. Thanks so much for the reply by the way. I really appreciate it .
Hopeinme Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Exactly! You have to try to evade those thoughts of them together. Everytime you start thinkinh of then, tell yourself it doesnt matter! Allow yourself to have those thoughts as well, sooner or later, you will get sixk of it Always glad to be of help! xx 1
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