Fiance walked out last night, still isn't back.

[Ripnet]

Being stressed out or upset is not a valid excuse for immature or hurtful behavior.

 

 

That's your belief. It doesn't mean you're are correct or incorrect we all handle stress differently.

[jolie_baby]

Being stressed out or upset is not a valid excuse for immature or hurtful behavior.

 

I also think that in case further communication would cause frustration and maybe escalate the situation, walking out for some time may be a mature and responsible thing to do.

 

I speak for someone who knows how stressful work can get sometimes,and during these times what you need is support, rather than more and more arguments and complaints. In case your partner cannot show support, then they should just let the person be for a while and dont run after them callling them abusive and controlling.

[ASG]

I also think that in case further communication would cause frustration and maybe escalate the situation, walking out for some time may be a mature and responsible thing to do.

 

I speak for someone who knows how stressful work can get sometimes,and during these times what you need is support, rather than more and more arguments and complaints. In case your partner cannot show support, then they should just let the person be for a while and dont run after them callling them abusive and controlling.

 

 

So... wait... Are you saying that if you're stressed at work and snap at me, for no good reason and hurt my feeling, I'm supposed to let it go and not say anything to you? Because you're stressed?

 

Er... I don't think so. Being stressed is NO excuse to mistreat anyone. We all get stressed and if you can't deal with it like an adult, you should seek professional help. There's no shame in it and can do wonders.

What is NOT acceptable is blowing up on someone and hurting their feelings. And then not even being able to realise that and leaving without a word.

 

Support is not equal to coddling.

[ASG]

No, I'm not confused. I can only go by the information that was given. You can not change others. Maybe if you change yourself the other person may change. I'm not taking sides just what I see what was written.

 

Then what was your post about? You quoted one of my posts and went off on a tangent of something I had NOT said, at all, and didn't even relate to the post you quoted.

Hence the "you're confused".

[Ripnet]

Last night we had an argument and he walked out, angry and .texted me telling me he wasn't coming homeI haven't heard from him since last night. I don't know where he is and his phone is off. But this getting up and leaving isn't something I can deal with for the rest of my life! I feel its manipulative and cruel and its his way of controlling the situation. I could really use some help.

There you go he did text!

[Arabella]

That's your belief. It doesn't mean you're are correct or incorrect we all handle stress differently.

 

What you're failing to grasp is that while we all handle stress different, we ALL owe it to our partners to be respectful and mature.

 

Sure, this guy is in his right to be emotionally manipulative, but she has every right to tell him she's not going to marry him if he doesn't change.

 

She doesn't have to put up with this. There are plenty of men out there capable of communicating their needs (whatever they might be) in a respectful and considerate manner.

[jolie_baby]

Then what was your post about? You quoted one of my posts and went off on a tangent of something I had NOT said, at all, and didn't even relate to the post you quoted.

Hence the "you're confused".

 

you did the same to me.

[jolie_baby]

Of course she had the right to tell him how she feels, and has the right of not marrying him.

 

But also he has the right of not wanting to marry her either if she is not considerate or understanding.

[Arabella]

Of course she had the right to tell him how she feels, and has the right of not marrying him.

 

But also he has the right of not wanting to marry her either if she is not considerate or understanding.

 

So, in order to be considerate, she should simply allow him to walk out and stay out overnight, without knowing where he is, and be okay with it?

 

That's not being considerate. That's being a doormat. He's the one with a "consideration" issue. No considerate person would do that to their significant other!. It's selfish and manipulative.

[tbf]

The argument was over a conversation we had the night before. I was going out to meet some friends I haven't seen in several years. I went straight after work. I called him on my way out and he had just returned home and the dog had apparently had an accident, and my fiance was cleaning it up. He was downright nasty to me on the phone. I usually take care of our dog when because I get home from work earlier. But he did it since I went out.

 

I told him I didn't appreciate him talking to me the way he did and he then hung up on me. That was Thursday night.

 

Then last night when he returned home. He had gone out with some colleagues after work. When he got back I told him the way he had spoken to me the night before hurt my feelings. He then lost it.

 

You are making a lot of assumptions.

The way *I* read it, the OP went out with friends after work (no word on working late), so didn't go home to take care of the dog, leaving that task to the fiance.

Why would the OP go home first? We don't know how ar away home and work are. Also, nothing indicates the OP didn't tell the fiance what she was doing.

 

The way I read the whole situation is that the OP went out with friends, and the fiance knew he had to take care of the dog, but didn't like doing it and snapped at the OP.

The next day, the OP brought it up and the fiance lost it. Again.

 

Why can't the OP go out with friends and tell her fiance he hurt her feelings?

Reread the above quote from the opening poster. There's no reference to any pre-discussion which is why I asked for clarity in my post.

[Robert]

Closed as the thread starter hasn't responded in a while.

 

Thread starter, if you would like to have this thread re-opened then please alert on this post and we will do so, thanks