starlet86 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Ok, so I am pretty embarrassed about the situation I am in. Whilst I was breaking no contact, I loaned £1000 to my ex. I had borrowed him money before and he'd paid back. The thing is the £1000 is just the start of what I am meant to be borrowing him. He needs to money to close on something by the end of the month and I told him I'd have to do the transactions in 2 halves. He is desperate to get this money together and if he doesn't everything will fall through. We got in to a fight just before I started NC (which I have stuck to this time) because I was feeling quite used and basically cast aside by him. He would never make time for me unless it suited him. Was mainly always speaking about himself and I just lost it. He calls me and we argue and he starts telling me that he needs to get this all sewn up before he can focus on us and stuff. He has told me this before, but I think if you genuinely want to be with someone regardless of all the stress you are under you put time aside for that person. You make them know they are wanted. I don't know why, but I can't shake the feeling he is trying to keep me sweet and continuously trying to keep in touch with me because he is scared I don't complete the payment at the end of the month and part of me doesn't know if I should. Should I give him the time and support he needs to sort out everything before jumping to conclusions and writing him off? We weren't a bad couple, but everything that is currently stressing him out and he is trying to complete on is the reason we split up. Neither of us could handle the stress of it together and I couldn't be as supportive as he needed me to be. He has always said he wants me, but he has to do this because if he fails he doesn't know where he will end up and he doesn't want to drag me down with him. We have a letter, signed and witnessed that if I complete on the payment on the 30th I will receive my money back in full on the 7th of July. If I do not complete then any balance owed to me will be paid back on the 7th of July, so I wont be losing money and it's all done properly, but I don't know if he is just worried I back out and that is why he is telling me all this stuff. I don't want to get hurt. Please help and please no "don't give him another penny" unless you can really offer a legitimate reason for me to stop him completing on this deal. Mainly because I personally feel I would only be doing it out of bitterness and I don't want that.
Sneaky Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 The reason I'd say you should stop loaning him money isn't because out of bitterness, but simply because it's not your problem and it's making it harder for you to move on when he keeps contacting you. This is incredibly selfish of him; you should focus on yourself and your own problems without taking on his as well. 2
JustAReformedGirl Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I agree with Sneaky. You've already contributed to the amount he requires. But, since you two broke up, he is no longer your problem.
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