Ripnet Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Guys multi date and test girls out sexually before committing all the time. Men just cannot handle women doing the same because then they don't have power and control. Never underestimate the power of the male ego where they bash women for doing this when they feel justified doing it themselves. So , if most men smoked crack women should smoke crack too. Btw I never have and never will multi date.
veggirl Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I wouldn't see a guy again if he said those things that she did. First of all, I don't multi date. I understand many people do and until exclusivity is established then all is fair game...however it just seems REALLY uncouth to spit it out the way she did. It'd leave a bitter taste in my mouth for sure, esp if the dude then made out with me and whatnot, I mean all I'd be picturing is him making out with his date next week. Sorry but not an image I'm interested in. Second of all, her texting you and asking what you thought just screams game-playing to me. She is testing you, guaging your reaction and tbh maybe she doesn't even HAVE another date scheduled but rather is trying to make you jealous and s.hit. Whatever it is, it's a turn off. I'd forget her. Def wouldn't be my cup of tea. I think she was trying to get some attention/a reaction out of you. 2
Star Gazer Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I never had a woman date other men in my life time. Then you haven't dated many women. How do you know, unless you're going all sub rosa on them?
SJC2008 Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 alright i'm gonna try to keep it short here... i met this girl on a dating site.. we've been talking for almost 2 weeks now texting and on the phone...we finally went out yesterday we had a great time, we holded hands, kissed, hugged everything the girl tells me she really likes me BUT, when we were at the bar we were already plannning for our next outing and she said: oh and next week i'm gonna go out with this other guy, I'm like oh yea, so am I on your top 2. she's like oh yea.. so i said oh that's cool.. anyways, it really bothered me but since we're not exclusive i didn't say anything. we continued our night we didnt' have sex, but we kissed passionately in the parking lot, making out, everything anyways, so she left cause the next day she had to work....so she texted me when she got home, and said her good nights and then she asked, "i have a big question for you?" i'm like, "sure what's up?" she asked, "what did you think when i told you i was gonna go out with another guy next week?" I told her, "well since we're not exclusive yet she can do whatever she wants, it's up to her, but i'lll just keep my options open." so then she replied, "I probably should have kept that info to myself, cuz now i seem like a b@#ch. I just thought I should be honest. I'm looking for relationship. WE probably moved a little fast tonite, but that's only cuz I like u. haha We've been been texting for a while, so I felt like I already knew u. I still wanna get to know u. How do u feel about it?" So I haven't replied back. I don't wanna seem like such a wuzz, but don't know what to say. Any suggestions? Part of me thinks she was being honest. I mean she told him on their first date so how could she be invested enough to do a "shyt test"?? OTOH, when she texted back later saying she liked him and asking him what he felt about her dating others makes me think otherwise. I think you handled it well. If you're ok with both of you dating others this is how to respond to her last text: "Until one of us brings up exclusivity we're free to date others and it should be assumed we're doing so". Simple as that. I don't mind if a few dates overlap but other than that I am not a multi date. IMO it's hard to find people that aren't now days and it's hard to say you don't like it without sounding jealous/posessive for lack of better terms. I don't think I have the right to tell a woman who she can/can't sleep with if we're not exclusive but I know for sure that if we're having sex and she's sleeping with other people she sure as hell isn't my type! How do you articulate that??
Ripnet Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Then you haven't dated many women. How do you know, unless you're going all sub rosa on them? I had a lot of women wanting to date me I had options. But I am selective. I had married women, women with boyfriend and single women. Even a woman that asked me out I knew some level it wouldn't last. People give clues anyways by the things they say or language.
The Shepherd Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I think she likes you! I think she told you that she is dating another guy in the hopes that that would make you "fight" for her/ be exclusive with her. When you got home, she sent you a text asking how you feel about her going on dates with another guy. She did that to gauge your feelings. She wanted to find out if you were hurt or upset which wouldve been inidicative of feelings for her. Some girls are very insecure and often resort to playing games eg letting her date know that she is desired by other men. It is very clear from her actions that she likes you. The more you play it cool, the more intrigued she will be by you. She probably expected you to react (in a way that wouldve fed her ego) but you didn't. Haha. I say: Keep talking to her. Don't mention the issue about the other guy. Date other girls if you can too. Why would he fight for her when he doesn't even know if she is worth it? As I see it from your post, this is a lose-lose situation for him. 2
Woggle Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Why would he fight for her when he doesn't even know if she is worth it? As I see it from your post, this is a lose-lose situation for him. Exactly. What exactly does a man win if he fights for a woman in this situation? Wow I get a woman who plays stupid game and likes to cause drama. It's better than winning the lottery. 2
hppr Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Fighting for a woman can work but she has to be the kind of woman who is worth fighting for. The situation the OP describes is more like discretion-is-the-better-part-of-valor. He's not St. George slaying the dragon so much as he is Don Quixote trying to protect Dulcinea's 'virtue'. Really guy, if you are still reading this, your buddy gave you good advice. I suggest you follow it.
SoulJazzBlues Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I don't think multi-dating is as gross as some of the other posters make it out to be. In the initial stage of dating and particularly in this climate of online dating, assuming a person ISNT dating others is just plain presumptious and foolish. However I do admit that when a person usually multi-dates several people, it usually means that none of their options have clearly made stood out for them. We all know when we meet someone outrageously fantastic and compatible, we tend to drop everyone else from the roster. Or atleast long enough to see whether things with this new person will work out. Now her telling you this though? That was tactless and pointless. If her goal was to make you jealous or pursue her harder, she is clearly playing silly games. It is up to you whether you think it is worth to pursue someone like that. 3
jolie_baby Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Can't multi date either. Can't kiss/ touch a guy who may have been with another woman or will be with another woman tomorrow. 2
SoulJazzBlues Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I guarantee that if the OP had posted that she had told him that she'd stopped all contact with every male in her life and was going to concentrate on just HIM, the majority of the responses would be all about what a STALKER and a PSYCHO she is. Yes. Yes, they would have. I'm quite amused at folk assuming that every first date they've ever been on has automatically meant the other person has dumped/removed every other dating option. Ha! 2
SoulJazzBlues Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 Connection on a first date after several hours of hanging out together means the end? A girl/man should throw in the towel and solely date that other person? Makes me think some folk don't have many options and are willing to settle on the first 'connection' they get? 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 OMG ... overdramatic much? This was their FIRST date and she's supposed to cut all ties with every single male she's been talking to or planning dates with? Only an idiot puts all her eggs in one basket after ONE date. While she could have used a little more tact and NOT mentioned the date the other guy, I think it was just a bad judgment call to share that with the OP, not a bid to 'play games' and all that nonsense. I guarantee that if the OP had posted that she had told him that she'd stopped all contact with every male in her life and was going to concentrate on just HIM, the majority of the responses would be all about what a STALKER and a PSYCHO she is. It is game playing. She did it purposely to test him. That's not something you tell someone. Completely classless and immature.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 It is game playing. She did it purposely to test him. That's not something you tell someone. Completely classless and immature. Alright everyone the verdict is in!! so wanted to keep everyone posted as to what happened since my date on friday... well since she posted that she was gonna go out with that one guy next week i kept my cool.. some reason saturday she hit me up again and we started sexting. lol yes i know immature and she was all into it telling me she wanted to see me on Monday.. we texted all saturday night and said that if i was going to sweep her off her feet and I said yes. Well Sunday came and no text or calls. Monday came and I hit her up to tell her if we were still on for tonite. Well she text me back: I'm sorry but we can't hang out anymore. Sorry. so i replied: Well i totally understand it was fun hanging out with ya, your'e a cool chick. See u around! don't be a stranger. she replied: thanks for understanding!! So I am at peace. Kind of bummed it didn't work out but put my mind at ease!! I guess NEXT for now.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 It is game playing. She did it purposely to test him. That's not something you tell someone. Completely classless and immature. it's weird but i was going to react on it to say well u better not date that other guy cause you're all mine i mean i would of said it with confidence but then the other side would of made it seem like i'm insecure, but at the same time she could of been testing me to see if i wanted to make her mine i don't know that **** confused me. it's the first time it happens to me. I don't think i ever had someone tell me they're dating others that's a first for me.
Geiss Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 Alright everyone the verdict is in!! so wanted to keep everyone posted as to what happened since my date on friday... well since she posted that she was gonna go out with that one guy next week i kept my cool.. some reason saturday she hit me up again and we started sexting. lol yes i know immature and she was all into it telling me she wanted to see me on Monday.. we texted all saturday night and said that if i was going to sweep her off her feet and I said yes. Well Sunday came and no text or calls. Monday came and I hit her up to tell her if we were still on for tonite. Well she text me back: I'm sorry but we can't hang out anymore. Sorry. so i replied: Well i totally understand it was fun hanging out with ya, your'e a cool chick. See u around! don't be a stranger. she replied: thanks for understanding!! So I am at peace. Kind of bummed it didn't work out but put my mind at ease!! I guess NEXT for now. So she went from sexting on Saturday to I don't want to see you on Monday? What the hell happened on Sunday?
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 So she went from sexting on Saturday to I don't want to see you on Monday? What the hell happened on Sunday? Exactly Sundays and Mondays are her days off, so I'm sure she did something on Sunday for her to not wanna see me on Monday.. I'm sure she had plenty of sex cause Friday we made out, she was letting me be all over her and let me fondle her well i'm not gonna say but down there and she was grabbing my well down there so the only thing i can say is it's the time of the month and girls get super frisky around this time.. for me it's always 12-14, and 22-25th when chicks pop out of no where so i already know.
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Exactly Sundays and Mondays are her days off, so I'm sure she did something on Sunday for her to not wanna see me on Monday.. I'm sure she had plenty of sex cause Friday we made out, she was letting me be all over her and let me fondle her well i'm not gonna say but down there and she was grabbing my well down there so the only thing i can say is it's the time of the month and girls get super frisky around this time.. for me it's always 12-14, and 22-25th when chicks pop out of no where so i already know. What? You're assuming she had sex two days after she saw you? Just because she had the day off? And what do you mean by the bolded? Sounds like she decided she liked someone else more, and became exclusive with them. You're making her sound like some sex crazed woman.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 What? You're assuming she had sex two days after she saw you? Just because she had the day off? And what do you mean by the bolded? Sounds like she decided she liked someone else more, and became exclusive with them. You're making her sound like some sex crazed woman. i don't know what to think i have no idea what made her change her mind from having a good date on friday, to sexting me on Saturday telling me she wants to see me on Monday, no texting Sunday then flaking on Monday and doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore.... i mean when she told me she was gonna go out with some guy this coming week i wonder if she was just testing me to see how i'd react i don't know. .i'm just kind of bummed . i give up
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 But what did you mean when you said: the only thing i can say is it's the time of the month and girls get super frisky around this time.. for me it's always 12-14, and 22-25th when chicks pop out of no where so i already know. ???
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 25, 2013 Author Posted June 25, 2013 But what did you mean when you said: ??? oh it's pretty weird but that's the time i get hit up by girls or booty calls or girls that have disappeared before and re appear wanting to hang out again to get some.... just an observation. no biggy
Ripnet Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 Exactly. What exactly does a man win if he fights for a woman in this situation? Wow I get a woman who plays stupid game and likes to cause drama. It's better than winning the lottery. I won't fight or compete for a woman when I'm suppose to do all the court while she looks pretty and doesn't practically very little. Someone who put some effort highly unlikely will date multiple people.
Ripnet Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 And there was some other chick's sunglasses tucked neatly in the passenger visor of his car. Yuck. It was such a turnoff that regardless of how much fun we had had up until that point. .http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/403594-younger-dude. Seems to me some women have a problem with dating multiple people.
Star Gazer Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 oh it's pretty weird but that's the time i get hit up by girls or booty calls or girls that have disappeared before and re appear wanting to hang out again to get some.... just an observation. no biggy You think all women are on one of two menstrual cycles? I don't understand.
SJC2008 Posted June 25, 2013 Posted June 25, 2013 You think all women are on one of two menstrual cycles? I don't understand. Give me that Oscar and I'll tell you the answer! 1
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