hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) well she is 24 Sounds about right, 24 and still hasn't grown a brain, playing little girl games etc. Read my earlier post. You aren't invested with this girl so just move on. If she blows up your phone then bootycall her if possible but really, if they are still doing this kind of stuff in their 20s she will never be relationship material for anyone. edit: a girl telling you "I like you but I'm seeing other people too" is like those cheap "one day only!" sales that stores have every weekend. It's a cheap tactic that only works on stupid people and it says a lot about the character of people involved. Only a guy who is a chump falls for that stuff and tries harder with a girl who says that. Good guys go "PFFT, NEXT!" Edited June 22, 2013 by hppr 1
Ami1uwant Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 yea it's buggin me right now, but she did say they only text once in a while. i'm like fudge well i mean every girl we talk to there's probably 2 or 3 guys after them that we don't know about but at least this one was honest...i do like this chick... she even told me she liked me when we left the parking lot and i said me too. Not sure how you met .... It is safe to assume anyone you date is dating someone else....just assume that. Especially true if you met her through an OLD site.
truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Let me ask you this: If you were dating a girl and told her that you were seeing other girls too, and then later told her that it was kinda dicked and you just wanted to see her reaction...what would that make you? Pretty sure it would make you an ass, even in the eyes of all these women who will tell you what this girl is doing if fine and dandy. Plain and simply, bottom line, brass tacks - what that chick said to you was in bad taste. It was a sh***y thing to say and shows what her character is like. She's now bootycall material, go online and get another one. I completely agree with this. She was gross to tell you she's seeing another guy. That means all the making out you two were doing that night, she's doing with this guy. She's not gf material at all. She's play material only. I wouldn't take her seriously and just let her come to you. Have fun and do not catch feelings for this type of girl. 1
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Not sure how you met .... It is safe to assume anyone you date is dating someone else....just assume that. Especially true if you met her through an OLD site. yea i met her on a dating site.
hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 yea i met her on a dating site. A friend of mine bought some 'Armani' cologne at a dollar store and of course it turned out to be full of water and rubbing alcohol. You did the same thing. So on one hand you feel like a fool but on the bright side you're only out a buck. Live and learn.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 I completely agree with this. She was gross to tell you she's seeing another guy. That means all the making out you two were doing that night, she's doing with this guy. She's not gf material at all. She's play material only. I wouldn't take her seriously and just let her come to you. Have fun and do not catch feelings for this type of girl. hey guys i totally appreciate your opinion. a friend of mine is telling me the same thing just to booty call her.. he told me to write this to turn the tables on her and write this: ''I respect your decision and specially since we're just dating and not exclusive yet. It's better taking it slow then rushing it. I'm a guy with dignity and not a second option. What's your opinion on friends with benefits? How do you feel about i?'' and bam just like that my friend said he told the same thing to this girl who is his girlfriend now. lol he said they were friends with benefits for two months and since they always hung out with each other after 2 months now she's his gf. lol oh well i mean i'm still gonna play the field though
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) Let me ask you this: If you were dating a girl and told her that you were seeing other girls too, and then later told her that it was kinda dicked and you just wanted to see her reaction...what would that make you? Nowhere did she say she told him just to get a reaction. You totally made that up! To the OP, It's clear she's *very* interested in you. It's very common in OLD to have more than one date set up at a time, and then have this exact situation come up: meet someone you really like but already have another date lined up with someone else, leaving you wondering what to do and whether to be honest about it. She'll go out with the other guy and figure out soon enough whether you're the better fit for her. You can and should do the same. That way, when you do become exclusive, you'll both know it's right, as opposed to just being the only option. Edited June 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 hey guys i totally appreciate your opinion. a friend of mine is telling me the same thing just to booty call her.. he told me to write this to turn the tables on her and write this: ''I respect your decision and specially since we're just dating and not exclusive yet. It's better taking it slow then rushing it. I'm a guy with dignity and not a second option. What's your opinion on friends with benefits? How do you feel about i?'' and bam just like that my friend said he told the same thing to this girl who is his girlfriend now. lol he said they were friends with benefits for two months and since they always hung out with each other after 2 months now she's his gf. lol oh well i mean i'm still gonna play the field though That would DISGUST me. If you write that to a girl with any amount of self-respect, you'll never hear from her again. Your friend's girlfriend is a pretty insecure woman that she'd accept a relationship after being reduced to an option for a f*ck toy. 1
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I completely agree with this. She was gross to tell you she's seeing another guy. That means all the making out you two were doing that night, she's doing with this guy. She's not gf material at all. She's play material only. I wouldn't take her seriously and just let her come to you. Have fun and do not catch feelings for this type of girl. She told him about the other guy before they proceeded to make out all night. So, he was obviously okay with it.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 That would DISGUST me. If you write that to a girl with any amount of self-respect, you'll never hear from her again. Your friend's girlfriend is a pretty insecure woman that she'd accept a relationship after being reduced to an option for a f*ck toy. I know that's why I'm hesitant to send her that text message... I was just gonna keep it cool with her without asking all these other questions. I was just gonna say what was deep from the heart and say: Well I'm totally down to get to know each other better, but how would u feel if the tables were turned? how long have u been dating this guy? or something to that effect.. i feel now anything i say will go against or the opposite so just trying to find the right words to say. what do u think? it'd be nice if i get more feedback from a girls perspective
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I know that's why I'm hesitant to send her that text message... I was just gonna keep it cool with her without asking all these other questions. I was just gonna say what was deep from the heart and say: Well I'm totally down to get to know each other better, but how would u feel if the tables were turned? how long have u been dating this guy? or something to that effect.. i feel now anything i say will go against or the opposite so just trying to find the right words to say. what do u think? it'd be nice if i get more feedback from a girls perspective Don't write that either. What you said before was perfect, that you're going to keep your options open the way she is. She said she still wants to get to know you, and asked how you feel about that. Answer her. Yeah, you still want to get to know each other. No pressure. No expectations. See where it goes. Fact is, you've been on ONE date. The same men who are going ape**** over her dating someone else are the same guys who'd flip out if you were suggesting wanting to be in a relationship already after one date. They live in a world of double standards. You're not exclusive so you're both free to do and see whomever you want. ENJOY the getting-to-know-you process. Take your time. There's no need to rush.
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 well you barely know each other and you all already all over each other. thats not a good sign. and she is dating around but jet all over you. what will she be doing with the second guy i wonder............... and you can walk away or stay as second choice. its up to you. her way of dating is weird but at least you know now. yea i wonder too.. not sure if that's the first time they meet or have met before.... i don't know if by been honest it backfired on her or maybe cause she likes me she did it or perhaps she just blurted it out
Star Gazer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 yea i wonder too.. not sure if that's the first time they meet or have met before.... i don't know if by been honest it backfired on her or maybe cause she likes me she did it or perhaps she just blurted it out You've been on ONE DATE. And YOU made out with HER too. She told you that it was too fast for her. 2
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Guys multi date and test girls out sexually before committing all the time. Men just cannot handle women doing the same because then they don't have power and control. Never underestimate the power of the male ego where they bash women for doing this when they feel justified doing it themselves. Its the nature of OLD too, by the way. Lots of people do it. Im not a fan of multi dating so that's why I never did OLD. what does OLD mean?
hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I get a kick out of all you women piling in her to 'defend' the girl the op is referring to. Really, no decent woman tells a guy to his face that she's also 'considering' other men, and no good guy is going to tell a girl "I like you but gimme awhile so I can date some other girls to be sure". OP: your friend's advice is realistic. I don't like it, I don't think I would do that, but it is realistic. So it is up to you.
hppr Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 well you barely know each other and you all already all over each other. thats not a good sign. and she is dating around but jet all over you. what will she be doing with the second guy i wonder............... and you can walk away or stay as second choice. its up to you. her way of dating is weird but at least you know now. This this this! I mean really think with your BIG head not the LITTLE one. Trouble trouble trouble is all I gotta say. 1
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) Nowhere did she say she told him just to get a reaction. You totally made that up! OP: It's unfortunate that your thread has been taken over by a group of brand new posters who all have the same bitter attitude and agenda against women and dating. It's clear she's *very* interested in you. It's very common in OLD to have more than one date set up at a time, and then have this exact situation come up: meet someone you really like but already have another date lined up with someone else, leaving you wondering what to do and whether to be honest about it. She'll go out with the other guy and figure out soon enough whether you're the better fit for her. You can and should do the same. That way, when you do become exclusive, you'll both know it's right, as opposed to just being the only option. I don't OLD but I do understand how it works. I just can't understand how a guy can look himself in the mirror after being with a girl and contemplate a relationship,knowing she is going with other men. Edited June 22, 2013 by Joaquin
Author hopelesscaliguy86 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 She can date whoever she wants and doesn't owe you anything. Nor do you. If you don't want to date her, ditch her. I wonder if you did, would someone complain that "OMG no fair, she can date whoever she wants and you are supposed to put up with it! It's not cheating cause you aren't exclusive!". You are not supposed to do jack squat if you don't want to. true dat...u're right we'll see what's up just gonna play it by ear... gonna convince her not to go out with that guy if she wants me around lol
twosadthings Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Why are you putting pressure on this young woman and on yourself as well? Now is the time in your life that you should be dating without exclusivity so that you can form opinions about just what type of woman you may want as a life partner. If you should happen to find the one you can hope that she also wants to be with you only but you can't force the fit. Ultimatums and extortion are not becoming and will mark you as a small man who is unsure of himself. Be someone who is desirable and you will be desired. Don't want to be loved but do your best to be loveable. I think the woman you have describe here is conducting herself in a way I would approve of. I think her parents would and should be proud. Twosadthings
Joaquin Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) Why are you putting pressure on this young woman and on yourself as well? Now is the time in your life that you should be dating without exclusivity so that you can form opinions about just what type of woman you may want as a life partner. If you should happen to find the one you can hope that she also wants to be with you only but you can't force the fit. Ultimatums and extortion are not becoming and will mark you as a small man who is unsure of himself. Be someone who is desirable and you will be desired. Don't want to be loved but do your best to be loveable. I think the woman you have describe here is conducting herself in a way I would approve of. I think her parents would and should be proud. Twosadthings Ultimatums and extortion! This ain't the Sopranos. I think yr post is noble, but because everyOne is shagging everyone these days it's a bit of a tougher deal. It's hard to accept that a girl yr seeing is taking pipe from someone else. Edited June 23, 2013 by Joaquin 2
white Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 You responded maturely to a tacky tasteless provocation on her part. Exclusivity is often not assumed today but it is assumed you won't bring up the others. However being tasteless and inexpert at dating are not crimes. She may even have been lying. If you like her, continue behaving maturely like you have proven you can (even if it wrenches your gut) and see what happens. In time, she either stops the games once you are seeing each other regularly or she doesn't and you don't see her much, and you can react accordingly. A silly faux pas like this isn't grounds alone to cut it off.
Star Gazer Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I don't OLD but I do understand how it works. I just can't understand how a guy can look himself in the mirror after being with a girl and contemplate a relationship,knowing she is going with other men. Being with a girl? They kissed/made out. He kissed/made out KNOWING she has a date with another guy next week. That was his choice. Are you exclusive from the get go?
Joaquin Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 (edited) Being with a girl? They kissed/made out. He kissed/made out KNOWING she has a date with another guy next week. That was his choice. Are you exclusive from the get go? I thought she landed that little present on him after she got what she wanted, but whatevs. If Ive gone out with a girl and she then ****s another guy( not that it's happened) it's gone. She can't want me in any kind of serious way. Could be a European thing. We have sex very quickly but don't like to share. Edited June 23, 2013 by Joaquin 2
Ripnet Posted June 23, 2013 Posted June 23, 2013 I never had a woman date other men in my life time. I don't know if she kissing a guy on the first date how many other men has she kissed on the first date? If it fine to multi date but she kissed on the first date. I don't know but I don't like the idea kissing a woman who just recently kissed another guy. I not talking about lip kiss on the cheeks but a real passionate kiss. If she's dating both men for more than a few weeks then it's time to move on. I wouldn't stick around by then she should have made up her mind.
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