Flakies will be the death of me.

[iaudio]

Flakies will be the death of me..

 

Met this chick a few months ago.* Wasn't really interested at first, but over time the interest grew. I displayed an interest in her sometime in April, it wasn't really reciprocated. She never said no, but was wishy washy about the whole thing.* I decided to move on, as it wasnt going any where.

 

Since I backed off, she continued to contact me every few days, show up at my work at odd times when she knew I was there. I kept my cool, and just kept things friendly.

 

Last Sunday, she asks me what I am doing Saturday ( today) , I make a joke about it.. and she responds with a half serious "Well.. if you want to give me attitude.."* I ask what she wants, and she mentions going hiking/ boating.* I say I am game, but only in the am.* She says she will have to check her schedule, and let me know.

 

I saw her Friday, and she never brought it up. Neither did I.*

 

Either she forgot, or she is playing the "I caught him, but I dont really want him game".

 

Seriously?* What a headache.

[melodicintention]

It's kind of unclear what makes this girl flaky exactly. It sounds like no solid plans were ever laid down so how can she flake on just mentioning an idea of something to do if no one ever made solid plans? All people casually mention things like this and most people don't consider it flaking if no real plans were made.

 

How exactly did you express interest to her way back when? Did you ever ask her out on a date? Did you actually date this girl at all?

 

Maybe you didn't show enough interest and she friend zoned you. She may not be playing games, she might think you aren't that interested but might still want to be friends and didn't really take her offer any more serious than inviting any other friend.

 

Or, maybe didn't say anything because she was waiting to see if you would bring it up. She could be testing you. Or maybe not, maybe she did forget or asked someone else instead.

 

How exactly has she "caught" you already?

 

If it's such a headache, why don't you take the lead and ask her out on a date on a specific day and time? If she stands you up or cancels, then you can confidently write her off as a flake.

[brandnew2]

Bro, that's nothing. It doesn't even sound like you had concrete plans. You gotta set a time and a place to make it feel more concrete to the girl, and even then I always know there's a strong possibility of getting ditched.

 

I've gotten in the habit of scheduling 2-3 dates for the exact same time and sometimes get ditched by all of them for various reasons (feeling sick is a popular one. But some people get creative and conjure up getting called into work, a sudden family event, or even the death of a loved one).

 

It sounds like you're right and she isn't really interested in you, and only wants to secure your attention to feed her ego. But you still haven't given it a fair shot yet either. Make plans with her and make them concrete. Then see if she flakes.

[c57dood]

Flakies will be the death of me..

 

Met this chick a few months ago.* Wasn't really interested at first, but over time the interest grew. I displayed an interest in her sometime in April, it wasn't really reciprocated. She never said no, but was wishy washy about the whole thing.* I decided to move on, as it wasnt going any where.

 

Since I backed off, she continued to contact me every few days, show up at my work at odd times when she knew I was there. I kept my cool, and just kept things friendly.

 

Last Sunday, she asks me what I am doing Saturday ( today) , I make a joke about it.. and she responds with a half serious "Well.. if you want to give me attitude.."* I ask what she wants, and she mentions going hiking/ boating.* I say I am game, but only in the am.* She says she will have to check her schedule, and let me know.

 

I saw her Friday, and she never brought it up. Neither did I.*

 

Either she forgot, or she is playing the "I caught him, but I dont really want him game".

 

Seriously?* What a headache.

 

Gotta give you props man. You got way more patience than me. If I heard "Well.. if you want to give me attitude.." I would've told her to get the f*** out.

 

I would say forget this chick, but I suppose you're kind of into her so play the games if you want. I'm too old for that **** haha

[iaudio]

It's kind of unclear what makes this girl flaky exactly. It sounds like no solid plans were ever laid down so how can she flake on just mentioning an idea of something to do if no one ever made solid plans? All people casually mention things like this and most people don't consider it flaking if no real plans were made.

 

How exactly did you express interest to her way back when? Did you ever ask her out on a date? Did you actually date this girl at all?

 

Maybe you didn't show enough interest and she friend zoned you. She may not be playing games, she might think you aren't that interested but might still want to be friends and didn't really take her offer any more serious than inviting any other friend.

 

Or, maybe didn't say anything because she was waiting to see if you would bring it up. She could be testing you. Or maybe not, maybe she did forget or asked someone else instead.

 

How exactly has she "caught" you already?

 

If it's such a headache, why don't you take the lead and ask her out on a date on a specific day and time? If she stands you up or cancels, then you can confidently write her off as a flake.

 

There wasnt any concrete plans because she couldn't commit to any time, and needed to get back to me.

 

1) Was her idea on the outing.

2) I set a time frame

3) She wasn't sure of her schedule, said she'll get back to me

4) She never did.

 

Kind of flaky to me.

[brandnew2]

There wasnt any concrete plans because she couldn't commit to any time, and needed to get back to me.

 

1) Was her idea on the outing.

2) I set a time frame

3) She wasn't sure of her schedule, said she'll get back to me

4) She never did.

 

Kind of flaky to me.

 

"I'll get back to you" is almost always the kiss of death.

[iaudio]

"I'll get back to you" is almost always the kiss of death.

 

Which is ironic cause she brought up the idea.

[brandnew2]

Which is ironic cause she brought up the idea.

 

She sounds like she's pretty flippant though. The sooner you get used to this sort of behavior from women, the more frustration you'll save yourself.

[gaius]

There wasnt any concrete plans because she couldn't commit to any time, and needed to get back to me.

 

1) Was her idea on the outing.

2) I set a time frame

3) She wasn't sure of her schedule, said she'll get back to me

4) She never did.

 

Kind of flaky to me.

Forget her getting back to you with her schedule, just set a time when she'll probably be free (nights, weekends or whatever) and a place she can get to while doing something she might enjoy. Then tell her you want her there but make sure she knows you'll have fun without her and have a backup plan in case she doesn't show. You win either way. Some girls who appear flakey on the surface just want a take charge guy. If she doesn't show for your activity then she really is flakey and never get your hopes up about anything else she says.

[Franko Bleenyo]

She sounds like she's pretty flippant though. The sooner you get used to this sort of behavior from women, the more frustration you'll save yourself.

 

Pretty much this

 

Woman flake all the time until you are firmly in a relationship with them, and even then their BS never goes away.

 

Btw, if they are teenagers, in their 20's. or 30's they are still pretty flakey and childish when it comes to dating.

 

Strangely they behave better ater 40+, i wonder why........

[iaudio]

Forget her getting back to you with her schedule, just set a time when she'll probably be free (nights, weekends or whatever) and a place she can get to while doing something she might enjoy. Then tell her you want her there but make sure she knows you'll have fun without her and have a backup plan in case she doesn't show. You win either way. Some girls who appear flakey on the surface just want a take charge guy. If she doesn't show for your activity then she really is flakey and never get your hopes up about anything else she says.

 

We went out on a hike at the end of April. I made the plans.. date, time etc.

 

She showed up, we had a good hike.. no problem.

 

Month or so later, this happens.

[tbf]

There wasnt any concrete plans because she couldn't commit to any time, and needed to get back to me.

 

1) Was her idea on the outing.

2) I set a time frame

3) She wasn't sure of her schedule, said she'll get back to me

4) She never did.

 

Kind of flaky to me.

My take was that she felt you weren't terribly enthused, especially since you snarked at her, then narrowed the time frame to the morning only which probably didn't suit her own time schedule, especially since this would mean that the hike had to be rushed, to get you back in time for your other plans. Limiting something to the morning means that there's no possibility of extending the "date".

[iaudio]

My take was that she felt you weren't terribly enthused, especially since you snarked at her, then narrowed the time frame to the morning only which probably didn't suit her own time schedule, especially since this would mean that the hike had to be rushed, to get you back in time for your other plans. Limiting something to the morning means that there's no possibility of extending the "date".

 

If she felt that the 'snarking' (even though she laughed when I said it) was taken that way... why would you mention it when I asked her?

 

The time limit was because I work in the afternoon / evening. Not my fault.

[MidwestUSA]

It's odd that she would have to "check her schedule" for a day on which SHE asked YOU to do something! Morning, afternoon, evening, I don't care, she knows your work schedule, right? My guess is she's flakie AND sensed a lack of serious interest on your part.

[Emilia]

If she felt that the 'snarking' (even though she laughed when I said it) was taken that way... why would you mention it when I asked her?

 

The time limit was because I work in the afternoon / evening. Not my fault.

Why even bother with people you are clearly not interested in? She finally got the message that you are not into her. Congratulations.

[iaudio]

Why even bother with people you are clearly not interested in? She finally got the message that you are not into her. Congratulations.

 

You got that from what I said? Why would I bring it up again with her, if I wasn't interested?

 

You must be psychic.

[Imajerk17]

Flakies will be the death of me..

 

Met this chick a few months ago.* Wasn't really interested at first, but over time the interest grew. I displayed an interest in her sometime in April, it wasn't really reciprocated. She never said no, but was wishy washy about the whole thing.* I decided to move on, as it wasnt going any where.

 

Since I backed off, she continued to contact me every few days, show up at my work at odd times when she knew I was there. I kept my cool, and just kept things friendly.

 

Last Sunday, she asks me what I am doing Saturday ( today) , I make a joke about it.. and she responds with a half serious "Well.. if you want to give me attitude.."* I ask what she wants, and she mentions going hiking/ boating.* I say I am game, but only in the am.* She says she will have to check her schedule, and let me know.

 

I saw her Friday, and she never brought it up. Neither did I.*

 

Either she forgot, or she is playing the "I caught him, but I dont really want him game".

 

Seriously?* What a headache.

 

When it comes to dating, men and women work differently. It's on us to make things happen, not them. That she brought up the idea first was in her mind (and in the minds of many other women) really putting herself out there, and that you didn't seem to respond enthusiastically to that probably made her pull back.

 

If you wanted to get together you needed to (a) call her out on "let me check my schedule" or (b) at least bring it up on Friday--no matter that she said she was going to get back to you.

[tbf]

If she felt that the 'snarking' (even though she laughed when I said it) was taken that way... why would you mention it when I asked her?

I can only gauge by what you've posted in the opening post, which clearly stated "half serious". So my question to you is, why would you even mention it if it's irrelevant? Perhaps your subconscious mind picked up on far more than your conscious mind.

 

The time limit was because I work in the afternoon / evening. Not my fault.

When you start off a conversation with snark, it's only going downhill from there. What's also relevant is how you stated the time constraints. If you explained to her that you're working in the afternoon/evening and then suggested an alternate day where your day is wide open,this would infer high interest.

 

I also wonder how you treated her during the very beginning, prior to the increase of interest. This might factor into how she's currently treating you, in that a cavalier pattern might already be set into the dynamics of your interactions.

[iaudio]

I can only gauge by what you've posted in the opening post, which clearly stated "half serious". So my question to you is, why would you even mention it if it's irrelevant? Perhaps your subconscious mind picked up on far more than your conscious mind.

 

When you start off a conversation with snark, it's only going downhill from there. What's also relevant is how you stated the time constraints. If you explained to her that you're working in the afternoon/evening and then suggested an alternate day where your day is wide open,this would infer high interest.

 

I also wonder how you treated her during the very beginning, prior to the increase of interest. This might factor into how she's currently treating you, in that a cavalier pattern might already be set into the dynamics of your interactions.

 

We've known each other for awhile now. She knows my personality.

[tbf]

We've known each other for awhile now. She knows my personality.

Are you looking for validation or for real input? My guess is the former since not only did you completely disregard my questions and perspective, you also expect her to read your mind and "deal with it".

[irc333]

It sounds like no solid plans were ever laid down

 

Some women, who do flake, tend to never let it get to a point where firm plans are laid down.....that way, they can say they never flake....lol...if that makes any sense.

[iaudio]

Some women, who do flake, tend to never let it get to a point where firm plans are laid down.....that way, they can say they never flake....lol...if that makes any sense.

 

It does..

 

In a twisted sort of way.