tomblanco123 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 We split up about 7 years ago. Was a very bad break up, we said things to each other that we should have never done. I got really upset back then and said things that I deeply regret un until now. It was a long distance relationship (15K km). I tried to apologise to her about a year later in a letter once but she sent it back unopened. I happen to be in her country and city right now on business for a while now but leaving in 2 days back to Europe. In the last few days, I have been toying with the idea to tell her that I have been living here for a while and I would like to see her. In the same time, I really don't want to mess her around. The relationship was very special when we were together but it ended in a way that probably poisoned all the memories that we ever had together (travels, special moments with the family, lifetime holidays). I am not expecting anything from her. I only want to say sorry and to give a chance to remember each other in a way that we always should have. The one thing I really regret is never having the chance to say goodbye in person as the breakup happened in an email. I only have 1 more full day here, so any advice is appreciated.
CC12 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 So you've been living in her city for a while now, and only two days before you move away are you seriously considering contacting her? What's the point now? Surely not friendship, if you put it off for this long? If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't really appreciate you contacting me like that. I'd be wondering why someone from my past is interested in meeting in person once or twice before leaving town, when we currently aren't friends in the first place, and have not been for the better part of a decade. I only want to say sorry and to give a chance to remember each other in a way that we always should have. You want this. It's not for her at all, because you don't even know her anymore. You might be able to convince yourself that she also deserves a chance to say sorry and remember whatever, but I bet she hasn't been waiting for you to come around so you can "remember each other in a way that we always should have." She likely has her very own life now, and you're not part of it. People move on. You should move on, too. 3
Ordinaryday Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 don't contact her. it's purely selfish and runs the risk of bringing up old wounds. if an ex contacted me to do what you are suggesting I would be furious at them.
Author tomblanco123 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 So you've been living in her city for a while now, and only two days before you move away are you seriously considering contacting her? What's the point now? Surely not friendship, if you put it off for this long? If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't really appreciate you contacting me like that. I'd be wondering why someone from my past is interested in meeting in person once or twice before leaving town, when we currently aren't friends in the first place, and have not been for the better part of a decade. You want this. It's not for her at all, because you don't even know her anymore. You might be able to convince yourself that she also deserves a chance to say sorry and remember whatever, but I bet she hasn't been waiting for you to come around so you can "remember each other in a way that we always should have." She likely has her very own life now, and you're not part of it. People move on. You should move on, too. Well, I always wanted to see her from the second I knew that I was going to be there. The only reason I put it off is the fact that we ended up with bad feelings after the breakup. Now, when the time is coming to go home - the "urge" to see her got stronger in the last few days... I know it is stupid but I am just not sure if I will ever have the chance to come back here as it is really the other part of the world for me. I know, we are never going to settle this in emails, etc. if we haven't done it so far. I can't say how she feels about the whole mess that happened between us - I can only say that I really feel bad about it since it happened. I know she knows how to contact me (the same way I do as well), however regardless the urge to do so in the last few years, I didn't "bothered" her either.
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