lonelyone2 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) So my ex wanted space to see how things go. He wasnt really in touch maybe texting hey, how is your day going. I told him being distant isn't really helping the relationship. He said he wanted to work on our relationship but the number of his texts kept going down. I acted like its all cool until today. I was on a vacation for a week. Today I texted him if he wanted to hang out today or tomorrow night. He didnt text me anything for 3-4 hours then saying sorry he is working anyways. He could say we could hang out after work. Asked him if he wanted to meet up tomorrow; no answer. I told him it's not working out and he texts me in a heartbeat it is not. Told him not to call me and I didn't want to stay as friends. This has been like this for 2 months and I told him last week he either wants to be with me or not. He said he loved me but didnt know what he wanted. Today he told me it wasn't working for him.. I'm feeling very lonely after believing him telling me he loved me. I'm literally in pain and he kept letting this linger for 2 months.. I need advice and if you went through this how did you get over it? I live away from my family and dont have many friends here which doesn't help. Don't you think 2 months is enough time for a man to decide what he wants and treats the lady normal? Every time we hung out he seemed upset and even sometimes he pushed me away physically when I tired to give him a hug. I'm educated, pretty, have great parents and background. I don't know why I wasn't good enough! Edited June 22, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
aloneinaz Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Sorry you're in pain over this but understand YOU let this linger for over two months as well. Reading what your wrote, there's not been much of anything from him to support maintaining any contact. If I was you, I'd got NC and move forward in healing from this person until your ready to try again w/someone else. 3
Author lonelyone2 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 He did wanted to see me on the weekends etc until last weekend but first things would go ok then he would get upset and break up even. The broke up with me 3 times already. Then telling me he wanted things to work, lets have space to see how things work. It's my mistake to love him and keep being nice and giving thinking he would change. I'm trying to move on. Told him not to contact me ever again:/
Leigh 87 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 My recent ex said the same thing to me. He wanted space to see if things could work out, rather than allowing me to move on. He initiated consistent contact too. He said he loved me but was not sure if we could work out, for reasons I will not get into on this thread, since it is about you. Look. In almost ALL cases, a guy who REALLY is in love with you and REALLY wants to be with you, WILL. Through anything. Through thick and thin. So. There is a very small chance that some men are madly in love with you and have legitimate reasoning for pulling away. It is just SO RARE though! Look, I know it is hard to move on when the last thing your ex sais is that he loves you still.. MY ex said THE SAME thing. I am moving on and accepting dates from new people. Almost 2 months post break up. Nothing physical, just seeing what is out there really. Looking for friends and flirting. You have no reason to wait around for him. It is VERY unlikely that he will EVER realise that you were the love of his life, and therefore he wants you back. I know how hard it is. Please know that TIME and No Contact will heal you. And letting go of the notion of a future with your ex. Throwing yourself into your own life, and the above things I mentioned WILL heal you in time. This pain WILL dissipate. Seriously. It is TEMPORARY. Do not break No Contact and risk setting yourself BACK. The real question is: do you want to feel pain for longer? Or would you like to take the necessary steps to end the pain sooner, rather than later? 2
Author lonelyone2 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Thank you so much for the response. You're so right. I haven't slept well the last two months. It's been hot and cold. I delete him on Facebook, Instagram etc and told him not to contact me and i didnt want to stay as friends, He was surprised but he didn't treat me well as a friend, playing with my feelings like its nothing... I can't believe how easily they get rid of people... I would make him breakfast, wash his dishes, cook... He kept making me feel bad about things like its all my mistake. Called me even a crazy math teacher. I cannot believe I still love him.
aloneinaz Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Thank you so much for the response. You're so right. I haven't slept well the last two months. It's been hot and cold. I delete him on Facebook, Instagram etc and told him not to contact me and i didnt want to stay as friends, He was surprised but he didn't treat me well as a friend, playing with my feelings like its nothing... I can't believe how easily they get rid of people... I would make him breakfast, wash his dishes, cook... He kept making me feel bad about things like its all my mistake. Called me even a crazy math teacher. I cannot believe I still love him. You will feel SOO much better once you go NC. As a guy, if I'm in love with girl, I'm NOT GOING to NOT want to be with my girl. I'd move mountains to spend time with her. He clearly wants you around as an option, and that's it. That's not love, thats not respect. When you go NC you regain the power over the relationship, especially if he still trys to contact you and you IGNORE him. Trust me, NC works to help YOU heal and move forward with your life. 1
Author lonelyone2 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 He blocked me on Instagram.. Basically when I asked him if he wanted to meet up today he didn't answer me back after texting me all week, acting like he wanted to be with me. Def he didn't know what he wanted and didn't care about me being hurt in the process. His loss!!!
aloneinaz Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 He blocked me on Instagram.. Basically when I asked him if he wanted to meet up today he didn't answer me back after texting me all week, acting like he wanted to be with me. Def he didn't know what he wanted and didn't care about me being hurt in the process. His loss!!! Make this the LAST time you contact him. Put him on ignore now moving forward. You're never going to heal and move on if you let him dick you around. NC will help you.
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