MrJay10 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) I know this sounds silly, but I wasn't even looking and I met this girl online. She messaged me cause she thought I was cute or whatever, and we get to become friends. Then I find out she lives in Ohio. (me being in GA) After a while of talking over the phone and everything, we finally want to meet each other. And of all this time talking, I seriously had never met anyone like her before. We just connected on so many levels. I finally go to meet her face to face, and we hit it off instantly. I can't really describe it, but she just was so perfect it was almost hard to put into words. We were seriously both so into each other it's not funny. So as time passes by we keep meeting up on and off during the rest of the year. But long distance relationships we find out get tough really quick. Now I'm 21 and shes 22 so we're not exactly rolling in the Benjamins to where it's like we can just move in with each other just like that. We both also have some goals we want to try and reach in life, and sometimes moving across the country doesn't help that. It's tough because I seriously think I was falling for her. But I don't want her to feel lonely all the time without me, and make her life miserable until we're able to. Now I rarely talk to her, maybe email once every couple months and it's tough trying to move on. We kind of agreed to end it so we don't have to go through the torment of not being together, however we're still friends. My question would be how do I mentally move on from her? I've gone on a couple dates since then, but I always end up comparing her to all the girls, it's like I can't get her out of my mind. She's always going to be that special one to me, so it's tough man. Edited June 21, 2013 by MrJay10
HeavenOrHell Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Aw, this is sad Is there no way you can keep things going, enjoy what you have in the here and now? I've been with my partner over 3 years, we meet every other month, we have no end to the distance in sight, we've split up twice because of difficulties with the distance, but can't let go of each other. What's worse, not being with her at all, or having a r/ship with her which may not be perfect but you have an amazing time when you see her, and you can also enjoy the closeness and communication you have when you're not together? I know this sounds silly, but I wasn't even looking and I met this girl online. She messaged me cause she thought I was cute or whatever, and we get to become friends. Then I find out she lives in Ohio. (me being in GA) After a while of talking over the phone and everything, we finally want to meet each other. And of all this time talking, I seriously had never met anyone like her before. We just connected on so many levels. I finally go to meet her face to face, and we hit it off instantly. I can't really describe it, but she just was so perfect it was almost hard to put into words. We were seriously both so into each other it's not funny. So as time passes by we keep meeting up on and off during the rest of the year. But long distance relationships we find out get tough really quick. Now I'm 21 and shes 22 so we're not exactly rolling in the Benjamins to where it's like we can just move in with each other just like that. We both also have some goals we want to try and reach in life, and sometimes moving across the country doesn't help that. It's tough because I seriously think I was falling for her. But I don't want her to feel lonely all the time without me, and make her life miserable until we're able to. Now I rarely talk to her, maybe email once every couple months and it's tough trying to move on. We kind of agreed to end it so we don't have to go through the torment of not being together, however we're still friends. My question would be how do I mentally move on from her? I've gone on a couple dates since then, but I always end up comparing her to all the girls, it's like I can't get her out of my mind. She's always going to be that special one to me, so it's tough man. 1
justwhoiam Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I always end up comparing her to all the girls, it's like I can't get her out of my mind. She's always going to be that special one to me, so it's tough man. Maybe she really was? At times, there's something like a bad decision. You realize about that like 10 or 20 years later. Just a possibility you need to consider, among all the other scenarios. Anyway, it's too fresh I think. Time will make the memories less vivid. Not the idea you built of her. That might remain unchanged over the years. Keep dating. Eventually, you'll find someone who's more your fit.
Author MrJay10 Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 Aw, this is sad What's worse, not being with her at all, or having a r/ship with her which may not be perfect but you have an amazing time when you see her, and you can also enjoy the closeness and communication you have when you're not together? That's the way I would have it, but I don't think she could take it. She's not really used to being in a long-distance relationship before.
amkxoxo Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I understand your pain. After a long discussion with my long distance guy I was dating, we also decided we couldn't do a relationship and were just coasting. Its so hard to think "I'm single" but I could have been with him/her. As time goes on the memories do fade, I agree. But it hurts now and you have to decide to focus completely on yourself or go after her. Whats worth more? Will you both be happy together if your not exactly where you are in life? If its meant to be, it will be, maybe not now, but in the future. Thats what me and my guy are going for. We talked and decided to not do a full blown relationship right now because he is trying to get his life together and can't give me 100%. We are waiting for a better time to be boyfriend/girlfriend. It could be next month, or a year from now. If you have the patience to wait it out. Life takes us through journeys and we have so many paths. Good Luck
umirano Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Rarely anyone ever is. The only way to find out... is to find out! But since you mutually agreed on breaking it off... you should go ahead with that. Like justwhoiam said, it takes time to get over someone. There's no shortcut. Otherwise the whole breakup and coping sub forums were unnecessary Are you NC?
HeavenOrHell Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Have you talked about it? That's the way I would have it, but I don't think she could take it. She's not really used to being in a long-distance relationship before.
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