Diesel Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 I have asked her when we were together in a bed , she said she can only allow me to touch everything except her Pussy. She said doesnt matter if you are using protection she just dont want anal sex. i have never ever hurt her feelings , i have always agreed what she says. I won't have sex until she gives me permission. She said i prefer sex after marriage. Do you think it is O.K ? I even told her , Having sex will increase our love for eachothers.
Papillon Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Uh...having sex will NOT increase your love for each other. You're 15, and you just want in her pants. Right? Right? I'm a dude...can't fool me. What about oral sex? She let you do that? The irony is is that she is NOT going to wait till marriage, that idea is just planted in her mind at the moment. One day she'll let go of it, but at this stage there's nothing you can do to force the issue. You're stuck with it, and you have to respect it. Just enjoy the intimacy you can have. You have your right hand.
Author Diesel Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 Originally posted by Papillon Uh...having sex will NOT increase your love for each other. You're 15, and you just want in her pants. Right? Right? I'm a dude...can't fool me. What about oral sex? She let you do that? The irony is is that she is NOT going to wait till marriage, that idea is just planted in her mind at the moment. One day she'll let go of it, but at this stage there's nothing you can do to force the issue. You're stuck with it, and you have to respect it. Just enjoy the intimacy you can have. You have your right hand. I'm not trying to fool you. ( why would i ? ) anyways , i have never forced her i treat her kindly and respect her. but are you sure oneday she'll let me do it ? should i keep condoms with my self when i'll be with her in bed ? also is having sex at the age of 15 O.K ? I'm not a sex addict nor a porn addict , if its not fine having sex at the of 15 i wont.
Papillon Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Sex is a wonderful thing, but our society places other pressures on us that makes the psychology of sex dangerous, not to mention what would happen if she became pregant, and many of the other horror stories I could bore you with. With the enomous pleasure that sex delivers, along comes a lot of responsibility. I'm not going to prescribe to you...I wish I had had sex at that age (only kissed my first girl at 16 ) The physical act of bumping and grinding is not the issue here. She is already offering up her intimate self to you in other ways. It just doesn't include the physical act of screwing. In a big sense, she is not a virgin anymore, and neither are you (assuming she's the first). It's all psychology, but the saving grace of it is that her reluctance to engage in sex will keep you both out of trouble. Think of other ways to pleasure her. Don't be just another hyper-sexed dude. You seem sensitive to her desires, so focus on what she wants instead of what your hormones are tellin ya. Gawd...that's the hardest advice ever to follow . Just be cool, and focus on your friendship with this girl.
Author Diesel Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 I will remember your advice and will do what you said I dont have much info about sex. My and my Gf have been together for more than 2 years and we havent even touched eachothers 'stuff' but i have kissed her many times. also what does this means ? Last time my GF called me and told me She is on her period she told me to stay away from her for a month ? like not kissing her ect But any valid reoson why ? Thank you for the time
Papillon Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Some girls feel "dirty" when they are on their period. I suspect this is another bad seed planted in her mind by religion or her grandmaw or whatever.
FolderWife Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 She's not ready to have sex. Don't pressure her. I had sex the first time at 19, and I still feel that I was too young, and I wish I had waited til marriage. If you "love" her, you'll respect her, and not make her feel badly about her decision to wait.
tiki Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Don't pressure her. Respect her wishes. Chances are, there will be handfuls of women before you find the one you want to wed anyway. I first lost my virginity at age....err....14? I'd take it back if I could. At 15, your brain should be equipped to think of other things. Sports, video games, friends and hanging out. Do not focus on sex. Love her for who she is. And respect her for her choices. Sad thing is, as Pap said, she may feel this way now, but she may be giving it up to the entire football team in three years. But respect while she feels this way. That's the best thing you can do.
Author Diesel Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 Ah Thank you soo much for your professional advices I have learnt alot from you guys
dyermaker Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 If it makes you feel any better, you probably wouldn't be very good at it anyway.
innocent Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 I am still a virgin at 19! I don't know why I didn't go ahead and do it with my first boyfriends b/c i didn't really care about myself and then I saw all of my friends lose theirs to guys I saw how badly it hurt them when they broke up. I saw that they didn't respect them and it just tore up my friends. I am not saying sex is bad, I wouldn't know. there are plenty of times that I just wanted to just do it with my man. But be careful about what reasons you do it for. If this girl really cares about you and truely trusts you and sees you as a friend as well as a boyfriend. Them it will tear her up inside if you mostly just want to have sex with her. I am not saying that you are like that but, if you are you could really hurt her and/or change her if you do have sex with her. If you don't want to wait. You should, and I am not saying this because I am but because I sasw all of my friends girls get their hearts broken, and guys just turn into horny machines. I want it to not just be pleasure I want it to be love. I want to share the most I could give anyone to someone I truely love and care about. I want them to feel the same way about me. I am too trying to wait until marriage (although I don't know if I will make it) But hopefully I can help you see it from her point of view. Now when I was her age hormones were raging so much more than now and I didn't care who or what, I just never got the chance. I hope that you will wait a while at least and respect her. because you both are so young, and I am still to young for sex people say so just don't rush it when the time is right you will know it!
arcadia Posted October 15, 2004 Posted October 15, 2004 i am really, REALLY glad i didnt give it up to my first boyfriend. i was one of those girls who insisted that i wanted to wait until marriage... well, that didnt happen and i dont regret it. but i sure didnt make that decision when i was 15.. it took me a while to decide. but for me, after having sex for the first time, i realized it wasnt as big a deal as i was making it when i was young...
Please wait Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 I am much older than you and have been married for almost 20 years. My wife and I are still suffering the consequences of a highschool boyfriend of hers who would not take no for an answer. Please Please do not do this. It will case nothing but problems for you and her and both of your future spouses. If you really love her YOU should be willing to wait. This is something that can never be taken back. I know many on this forum will disagree with me but I know what I am talking about.
bluetuesday Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 i waited until i was deeply in love and in a long term relationship (i was 22) and i'm happy i did. i made up for lost time soon enough, i'm sure you'll do the same. there are no rules to govern when people feel ready for sex. if she says she wants to wait until marriage that's an honourable intention (even if she goes back on it later) and loving someone means encouraging them in any direction that helps them to be the best version of themself. much of our self-esteem is tied up to other's acceptance of us sexually. your girlfriend will hold this opinion on virginity for a reason. maybe it's religious, maybe she feels she's not ready yet and has said a long-term 'no' to avoid the scenario where she feels you may ask 'can we do it yet?' every so often. or maybe she just wants to give her husband a gift she's given to no-one else. that means her decision is precious to her and it needs to be valued. hold back and get to really know her. spend time cherishing her, caring for her, loving all those idiosyncrasies only you know about. believe me, this is the good stuff.
Katie-Lou Posted October 17, 2004 Posted October 17, 2004 Hello, I am almost 17, and i'm still a virgin. I was in a long-term realtionship for 3 years and even within that time i didn't want to have sex.. not that i didn't want to.. i just didn't feel ready. Maybe you're girlfriend doesn't feel comfortable with the whole sex thing and maybe isn't ready to loose her virginity yet.. and is maybe saying about the sex after marriage thing because she doesn't want to seem 'fridged'. However, i'm sure that if you love your girlfriend, you will hopefully respect her discissions and wait until she's ready. I am now in another relationship.. and i haven't slept with my new boyfriend either. Guys probably wouldn't understand properley, but to a girl (well most girls that is) loosing her virginity is something that many girls regret. That's why i'm waiting until i find the right person.. i'm pretty sure i have.. but i don't want to rush into things. My sister is only 15, and she is still a virgin.. and so are most her friends. You have your whole life in front of you.. i understand you have a girlfriend and i pressume you love her and want to share more things with her.. ie. sex.. but at the end of the day things like that shouldn't be rushed. How about asking her when you're next in bed together if you could finger her? Take it step by step, if you try and rush straight into sex she will probably think that's all you want her for. Anyway, good luck. Bye, Katie-Lou x
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