lamaga Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) ... and we haven't talked about it. Every time it comes up, we quickly try to change the subject. This is both of our faults. I think we both don't want to be confronted with the sad reality that this is might be the end of our relationship (but does it have to be?) (He was supposed to stay a few months longer but his visa wasn't approved). (We are in Germany, he is going back to US East Coast). We are together for 2 months. We haven't talked about love but he has said things like "I care about you a lot" "I like you a lot" "You are very dear to me" "You are very special" "You are quite something" We've been lying in bed just staring at each other so many times, teary eyes and eskimo kissing in denial about our sad fate. Yes, I think we both have a lot of feelings for each other but have been hesitant to put it in words because of knowing that he would leave again. He told me yesterday that he applied for a job here that would have him start in January. OF COURSE MY EYES STARTING SHINING. The chances are ok, I think, although it is a very desirable position, I think he might have good chances, since he has a very admirable resume. I wonder why he would apply for a job here if he could get a much better job in his hometown (best job he could get, to be honest). He didn't say it was because of me, but I feel like he could also see us together in the future. I want an LDR but I don't want to force it on him. I don't want to force anything, since I can tell he feels pressured quickly due to his time/nerve-consuming job. What should I do? Should I tell him that I am falling in love with him? That I would like to stay in touch? That I want an LDR? That I can see myself with him in a happy future? or... Do I let him go? He's the man of my dreams. I could see myself having a family with him one day and all that stuff. i just wish we'd have more time. What would you do in my situation? I KNOW WE HAVE A COMMUNICATION PROBLEM! I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW THAT. I WANT TO CHANGE THAT. So, I KNOW I have to be open with him, but the approach... the approach... I am really bad at this. I hope you guys have some advice. I will see him again in 2 days. Edited June 21, 2013 by lamaga
Star Gazer Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 He's the man of my dreams. It's been 2 months, and your relationship has already had its problems. I suspect that once he's gone, and your rose colored glasses are taken off, you'll feel differently than you do now.
Drseussgrrl Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Honey you don't do anything, unfortch. If he sees a future with you as well and he's in love with you, he'll make it happen somehow. Men always do. I hate to say this but it sounds to me as though you're WAY ahead of him emotionally. Only knowing someone two months is hardly a solid foundation to base an intercontinental relationship on. You're in a very tough situation, and I'm sorry for that. But if I were you I'd let him go. It's a big red flag to me that he hasn't mentioned at all what he wants when he leaves.
MidwestUSA Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 If you can't talk about this while lying next to each other in bed, it doesn't bode well for communicating LD, sorry to say.
Author lamaga Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 So hes choosing to apply elsewhere? Its not mandatory, he could find work where you are He was going to apply for a job at his university in his city in his country. He now has applied for a job that is not as prestigious but also very good, in my hometown in my country. He told me very proud about this.
Author lamaga Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 So why is he leaving then? He is doing his doctor right now. He was here for research, supposed to be for 6 months but he didn't get his visa approved so he has to go back early (and it's really stressing him out because he didn't get all the work done now he was supposed to). He is done with his doctor in December and then starts a job in January, which he is applying for now. When we met he said he wanted to work at the university he is at now, but now he told me he applied for a job in my town. He also looked for job offers at my university (but there was nothing).
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