tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 my ex bf was struggling so i helped him out a lot financially that is before we broke up, i found out he was cheating, only when his cheating becomes public people think we were just friends because he told them we not together, he even told my friend that, and she didn't tell me anything she thought we had an understanding because she had known about the girl before. can i sue him for my money back? Because he was faking with me just to create a relationship with someone else and yet wanted me to help him out so much. is there any legality in this?
Balzac Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Sure you can sue, it's winning and collecting that are the issue. 2
CarrieT Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 is there any legality in this? You gave the money willingly with no promissory note of an expected repayment? You probably have no recourse.
thefooloftheyear Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 If you have ever watched the show "Judge Judy", practically every case is like this...What it boils down to is... -Judge will ask you if you shared a bed while this "loan" took place. -Then he'll ask you if you had a written "contract" for this "loan" Hell likely then tell you to move along as you cant call it a "gift" when you are together then call it a "loan" when you break up. Unless there was a contract drawn up or you have some history(cancelled checks) of him repaying the "loan" You'll likely lose...Forget it and move on... TFY
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 If you have ever watched the show "Judge Judy", practically every case is like this...What it boils down to is... "They don't keep me here because I'm beautiful" Love JJ 1
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 My point is my ex says he was not with me. that is what he told people, he was not in a relationship with me and he let me think we were together while continue to help him out.
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 he said we didn't have a relationship.
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 when someone was sick battling cancer you can't really think of relationship you are trying to survive.
HopelessRomantick Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 You'd have to prove it to a judge. I was left with a 5 year debt as well that I only just started paying off. It seems that there is no sympathy here for being a generous fool. what it boils down to is: Love is blind. As for me, she told me she will pay me back. I believe her, we'll see. Good luck to you Tears...
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 i give it cause i thought we were in a relationship only to hear we were not that takes a new turn right there. 1
Balzac Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Collect your documentation, file your suit, if he fails to show up, eventually you'll get a judgement and can then collect by wage garnishment. You'd feel better about yourself. It's what courts are for.
thefooloftheyear Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 i give it cause i thought we were in a relationship only to hear we were not that takes a new turn right there. Im really sorry.... But when you are talking about sueing someone, then you need proof..Just him saying it wasnt a relationship doesnt amount to anything...I give people that I know money all the time. I dont have a relationship with them, they are just people I know. Sometimes they pay back, sometimes they dont..I dont have a contract, so frankly if they dont pay back then I am S.O.L.. TFY
CarrieT Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 My point is my ex says he was not with me. that is what he told people, he was not in a relationship with me and he let me think we were together while continue to help him out. A classic He Said/She Said... I don't think it will go very far in court and the more both of you contradict each other (regardless of who is right or wrong), the more it will drive you nuts. Chalk it up to experience and move on. 1
Arabella Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 It sounds to me like you're not worried about the money, you just want to get back at him for pretending to others that he wasn't with you, while continuing to take your money. I have a similar situation with my ex. The difference is I DID make him sign a notarized loan agreement when we were still together, so he's actually paying me back. You should have thought about it carefully. Never give money you can't afford to lose, and if you do... at least cover your butt! As others have said, you have little recourse at this point. Move on and learn the lesson.
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 before my ex and I broke up, he went in my bank a/c and steal money from me, i said i will not press charges and let him off, he said he will pay me back, its been 2yrs and we just broke up about 6 mths ago. He haven't attempt to pay me back yet, he have a new gf which he cheat on me with, riding out and all that. he took everything from me my love, my money. now i am struggling and asks him what is going on about my money and he and his woman is living happy with my money, he gets mad and told my friends i am harassing him. He still haven't return that was borrowed from me. all he told me thanks for reminding him and he will not return anything, it is making me very mad because the amt of the money is 30 grand, that was unlawfully taken. we were having regular conversation before all this happen after we broke up, he will still call me if something is wrong with him and all that and not his girlfriend. But as soon as i ask for my money there will be arguments, till he told me no contact again. i want to get my stuff back so how do i do it? i don't want to take him to courts either it hurts me doing it, but lately it leaving all drained and stressed out and to go and have a court case will stressed me out even more. i had cancer but stress is a contributing factor of it coming back so the doc told me. so i trying to take it easy, but the pain the hurt the betrayal its taking a tool on me. i love that man so much. and i miss us. all he can tell me is sorry only when he get to a low point like when he took sick, he will call and say i mess up your life and we used to be so good together, or he fear something gonna happen to him. or if he hears i am sick he will call and say what he can do to change that and me not stressing so much. acting like he all concern. all he do is think about himself no one else. he ask me back for a simple dvd he left by me. i gave it back so when it came to him returning my stuff he don't, i know he is using my transformer but i want it back cause its not my concern what he want to use anymore that between he and his gf. i told him, he and his gf suppose to be struggling now not me have to wait on him cause it seems as if i now struggling with them as well. he suppose to get my money and how he and his gf want to struggle that's there affairs not mine, cause i used to struggle with him just as well. don't you guys agree with me. i am fed up my finances are so low i keep taken out of my savings a/c when there is none to put back. its getting to me. he don't want to pay me back he don't want to return anything. i had to end up call him a douche bag that's why he told me no contact. he need to take care of his unfinished business and be responsible.
Balzac Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Sad story but you still have not detailed HOW he accessed your bank account. Was your account in your name only?
thefooloftheyear Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) before my ex and I broke up, he went in my bank a/c and steal money from me, i said i will not press charges and let him off, he said he will pay me back, its been 2yrs and we just broke up about 6 mths ago. He haven't attempt to pay me back yet, he have a new gf which he cheat on me with, riding out and all that. he took everything from me my love, my money. now i am struggling and asks him what is going on about my money and he and his woman is living happy with my money, he gets mad and told my friends i am harassing him. He still haven't return that was borrowed from me. all he told me thanks for reminding him and he will not return anything, it is making me very mad because the amt of the money is 30 grand, that was unlawfully taken. <snip> See bolded.... What does it mean? Did he crack open your safe and take the dough? Did he hold you up at gunpoint? Im being facetious here a bit, but if you gave it to him and there was no written contract, then it wont matter...He likely wont be obligated to pay you back a single cent.. If you were still together, would you want the money back? I am guessing no..So you cannot change the rules midstream, just because the dynamics change... I know you are frustrated. It sucks..Frankly, I would have paid you back the money if I broke up with you, but thats me..Not everyone is going to be that virtuous...especially if they have an out...Take it as an expensive lesson learned... I wish you well.. TFY Edited June 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author tearsinthedark Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 No when i had cancer i couldn't move about that much so i told him to take the card get me some money and whenever i needed any money i will call him and he will get it for me, its only about a month after when i able to move round i went to the bank to deposit some money that i get the shock of my life of what he did. now i wish i had involve the police. but i told the teller no i will take care of it. the point is i didn't give it to him he stole it.
Trimmer Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 (edited) My thought is that if you are really serious about going after him for the money, you should be talking to a lawyer, not getting advice on a message board. Nothing we say here is really useful, and you will eventually need to get a lawyer's advice and assistance anyway, so why don't you go educate yourself right from the start and cut to the chase. An attorney will ask all the right questions and tell you what you need to know. Anything you get here is just a shot in the dark. Edited June 22, 2013 by Trimmer missing apostrophe 2
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