seanmathews3 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 How do i get over my anxiety and nervousness when approaching and talking to women? Obviously some women are more open, friendly, and approachable so it doesnt happen ALL the time, i am a pretty attractive guy, but when i see an attractive girl i want to approach, most of the time i freeze up. Quick story, at a coffee shop the other day, very attractive lady walks in, early 20's, around the same age, we exchange eye contact a handful of times, possibly a few smiles (cant remember), and she sits down across the way. Im telling myself i need to approach her or say something but i spend so much time over thinking it and thinking about the perfect thing to say, next thing i know one of her lady friends sits down with her and starts chatting, so now im even more hesitant because i dont want to go and just interrupt them. She'll look at me everytime i walk by or get up, so i get this idea and write a little note that says how i think she's pretty and i like her smile and that maybe her and i can chat after her friend. I spend even more time thinking of a way and time to give it to her, next thing i know they are getting up to leave, with more eye contact on her way out. And now im kicking myself for not approaching her and going through with it. Two questions i have from this.. How do i get over my anxiety and nervousness when approaching and talking to women? Say after i do approach and the conversation goes well, what is a good close to have? as far as saying we should get together or exchange numbers? Any help is appreciated, thank you!
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 In daytime situations like that, you have to be SUPER smooth for it to work. You were right not to approach her and her friend. It's hard to do this even for the most confident of men. Next time this happens and you're getting clear signs, walk up to her and say "I'm about to leave but since I'm assuming you like coffee, can I meet you here for some another time?" That will do the trick. Then ask for her number. THEN LEAVE. The leaving is key. The worst thing is for you to approach, ask for her number, and then have to sit awkwardly across the coffee shop from her. Get out of her space and let her think about you and get excited about seeing you again! 1
Bito Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Stop being afraid of failing. Just talk to her. If you fail you are no worse off than if you did nothing. The irrational feeling of rejection is what is holding you back. If you have to strive to fail.
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