Mrlonelyone Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 So I met someone from OLD Sunday before last. The date went great I thought, though afterwards I wasn't feeling that great about it ( http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/400476-great-date-but-still-feel-heartbreak-bad-omen ). I was wiereded out by the similarity between this person and someone I have written about much here "M". She wanted to meet up a couple days latter but I could not. Since the week after that I was going into intensive preparation for my Masters Thesis defense and the commencement and such I could not. So we made a date for the Tuesday after that. Then she was busy on that day and we made a date for Thursday. Then when she flaked on that day I asked if she was having second thoughts. So she went from being attracted enough to meet and even take me to her job (near where we met) and show me off... to nothing at all that quick? She still wanted to meet up as friends, the thing is I know real friendship only happens organically not through OLD. Further I know relationships built on real true friendship happen organically and take time to grow... like a tree or crops in the field. I am not distraught as even I said here, I really wasn't feeling that feeling. I have never fallen for someone on meeting once or twice, usually I make friends with a set of people, then over time I either grow more attached to one of them or I don't. Maybe the whole dating and falling right away without getting to know the person first thing just isn't for me. Since that is the way people do it when they are out of college perhaps I am just screwed when it comes to anything more than trolling for NSA hookups or something? The worst part is that I feel so let down. I have graduated from a MS program, gotten into a PhD program, have great job prospects ... I should be on cloud 9 or at least cloud 7... yet I feel so depressed. Strange as it may sound it does make me happy to think that at least I had about 9 good months (ups and downs and drama but good overall) with M.
Sunshine87 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 First of all, well done on your accomplishments! Fantastic future ahead of you. Second, you should consider changing your name from "Mrlonelyone" to something more positive. Not sure if this is possible. Third, ensure that you try and make out time for your social life. Don't become too preoccupied with your studies because after all, a health social life is important to your overall well being. Fourth, I really don't know what to say because I have not read your other threads. But I believe that with such a good heart and head, you will find someone soon. I feel it.
clia Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Since she's OLD, I suspect she met someone else and they have taken precedent over you. I understand that you were busy and haven't been able to see her, but that can happen when you don't keep the momentum going with a new OLD person. Don't take it personally -- it happens.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Since she's OLD, I suspect she met someone else and they have taken precedent over you. I understand that you were busy and haven't been able to see her, but that can happen when you don't keep the momentum going with a new OLD person. Don't take it personally -- it happens. Yeah that's probably all that was. I mean she was wanting to go on date #2 after only a couple of days and on date #1 intro'd me to her coworkers. To me that's way, WAY too fast to move. Then she's the most sane best person I had found on OLD so far. Perhaps OLD just isn't for me. At the very least it affirms that my issue really isn't looks. I have plenty of good long time friends so it's not social skills. I just haven't had good luck or I have picked the wrong people so far.
Mr.Mango Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Yeah that's probably all that was. I mean she was wanting to go on date #2 after only a couple of days and on date #1 intro'd me to her coworkers. To me that's way, WAY too fast to move. Then she's the most sane best person I had found on OLD so far. Perhaps OLD just isn't for me. At the very least it affirms that my issue really isn't looks. I have plenty of good long time friends so it's not social skills. I just haven't had good luck or I have picked the wrong people so far. I wouldn't be too worried. Never concern yourself with people doing 180's, that's 100% them, not you. If you just be yourself then things are fine. More than half of the time I've been on dates girls have either stood me up or flaked, even after a successful previous one. I doubt in that small time I suddenly became unattractive/uninteresting, so there's no point doubting yourself. If anything it's a good indicator of how not seriously they are taking it, or how insecure they might be. Better to just take it and move on, don't let it affect your self esteem.
spiderowl Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 It sounded like you were the one putting her off at first so maybe she figured it was safer not to get involved and just to be friends with you. I think I would be wary if a guy was unavailable for three weeks like that.
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 It sounded like you were the one putting her off at first so maybe she figured it was safer not to get involved and just to be friends with you. I think I would be wary if a guy was unavailable for three weeks like that. It wasn't three weeks. We met one sunday and I simply wasn't available to anyone at all for ten days. Getting a MS is lots of work, especially right at the end. In hindsight I could have been in a stable long term relationship and gone almost totally Jack Nicholson in "the shining" on someone trying to interrupt me while I'm working at that level of intensity.
BradJacobs Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 She had a timeline that you didn't fit into due to your prior commitments. There will be others. Keep your chin up!
Author Mrlonelyone Posted June 22, 2013 Author Posted June 22, 2013 She had a timeline that you didn't fit into due to your prior commitments. There will be others. Keep your chin up! Yeah apparently she wants to be practically married within a month or two. I'm sure there will be others. I just have no idea where I will ever meet them.
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