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Need Her Back...please help!


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Posted

Two weeks ago I was told by my girlfriend of 5 years that she wants a "break". She says shes tierd of me not having enough time for her. And she has been ignoring my calls and won't talk to me.

 

We're both busy people, we both have part time jobs and also are full time students in college.

 

Aside from her saying I Don't have enough time for her, she also says that i'm over protective. I know that I have been busy latly and overprotactive and I told her that I want to change for her and everything will be the way it should, I told her I would spend so much more time with her and give her more attention. She says that my overprotctiveness is just part who i am and I can't change it, but I feel that I can change.

 

She is still ignoring every call, email, and attept i make to contact her. I've been trying a lot. After trying everything I can over the past 2 weeks like bringing her a dozen roses and a teddy bear at her work, appologizing 100 times on her voicemail, sending sorry e-mails, and telling her how much she means to me she still ignors me and its driving me insane.

 

I do love this girl very much, and i know she still has love for me. I DO NOT want to lose her now after 5 years.

 

What do I do to get her back?

Posted

You get her back when the ice glaciers melt in Siberia....You get her back when the sun stops shining its hot rays on your back....You get her back : NEVER ! Because she wants something different now.

 

STOP STOP ALL CONTACT with HER ! No mails, no phone calls,..no stalking...no textmessages....not ANYTHING! As horrid as that sounds its the best thing for you emotionally.....WHY ? Because it gives you time to get a clear head and heal and she may possibly regret what she did.

 

WOrk on YOUUUUUUU! Go out and take a bike ride, a photography class., join a church, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Join a Gym. take a cooking class...take 4 days and drive out of town . GET MOVING And make yourself unavailable to this person who is NOT FEEELING YOUR PAIN !!!!!!!!!!

 

Please dont look like a desperate whiny sap....it didnt work anyway crying and begging did it ???? Now stand up , dust your boots off and carry whats left of pride in your pocket.

 

GOOOOOD LUCK !!

Posted

Remember: it's offensive to the woman if, now that she's left you, you have all the time in the world for her. Just something to think about. You'll need to do a lot of thinking about your relationship during your time apart ... but don't let it destroy you. Let it help you realize what you want from a potential renewed relationship with her, and let it help you grow in maturity and experience.

 

Give her some space right now. Go to a close friend or confidant or counselor if you need to talk. Your crying, neediness, etc. are damaging your chances of getting back together right now so for now I'd take some alone time and give her some as well. Thankfully she's NOT taking you back, because you don't want her to take you back because she feels bad for you, or because she wants you to stop crying -- you want it to be because you love each other.

 

We are all going through similar experiences and we have been through what you're feeling. (Six weeks ago I was almost exactly where you are.) Be assured it does get better, and there is a chance for renewed love and a relationship with this woman that you obviously love so much.

 

Get some much-needed rest, and save pouring your heart out for a scheduled time where you can write in your journal, talk with a trusted friend, or something similar. My ex and I are both in college, and I work part-time as well. It helps me to put my energy into those things, and hanging out with new friends, rather than moping in my room. Put your energy into those things right now. You've already proven that you love her with your grand display of affection, now give her some time. Stand on your own feet and gain some perspective. Reading other people's experiences here helps a lot, actually ... but don't let it consume all your time.

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Posted

Thanks Mary... I have sumthing to add.... She said she would be willing to be friends for right now and that after being friends if it turns into more than we'll go with it.

 

Should I take her up on the friends offer or just ignor her back and see if she comes back to me??

Posted
Originally posted by Mary3

You get her back when the ice glaciers melt in Siberia....You get her back when the sun stops shining its hot rays on your back....You get her back : NEVER ! Because she wants something different now.

 

STOP STOP ALL CONTACT with HER ! No mails, no phone calls,..no stalking...no textmessages....not ANYTHING! As horrid as that sounds its the best thing for you emotionally.....WHY ? Because it gives you time to get a clear head and heal and she may possibly regret what she did.

 

WOrk on YOUUUUUUU! Go out and take a bike ride, a photography class., join a church, volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Join a Gym. take a cooking class...take 4 days and drive out of town . GET MOVING And make yourself unavailable to this person who is NOT FEEELING YOUR PAIN !!!!!!!!!!

 

Please dont look like a desperate whiny sap....it didnt work anyway crying and begging did it ???? Now stand up , dust your boots off and carry whats left of pride in your pocket.

 

GOOOOOD LUCK !!

 

Do exactly what Mary says. It's tough - really tough, in fact, but this is the best option. This will give her time to think and perhaps regret dumping you. Don't try and be the better man and remain friends like I did should she start contacting you, as she will likely keep you on a string for an ego boost. My ex tried to remain friendly after the breakup, as I suspect she thought that would make up for everything she did to me. Take away that control and leave her be. She will need time to think, perhaps quite a bit of time. When you feel like you just have to call or write her, talk to some friends or come on here for a nudge back in the right direction. Remember, she dumped you, and even if it was on "good" terms, it's still her responsibility to come clean with you and try and work things out. She will have to prove that she respects you, and she won't be able to do that until she starts to miss you a lot.

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