Ordinaryday Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Last night I got the most unexpected text, it said "Hi, you prob don't remember me but we went out last year and drifted apart after a few dates. Anyway, just wanted to say that I had fun on the dates and hope all is well with you. Jackie" even though it had a name to it, it took me a minute to work out who the text was from - it was from a woman I went out on two dates with in April 2012. After the second date, which I had a fun time on, she mentioned that she too had a fun time and that she would "be in touch in a few days" to arrange going out again. Never heard from her again... until last night. She completely blew me off, we only went out on two dates to begin with so why on earth would she send me that text? I am well aware of what "breadcrumbs" are but I don't think it is that because breadcrumbs implies there was a relationship and dumping... but there was neither, she simply blew me off after two dates! I have not responded to the text, I am not going to to... but why would she send me it after 14 months? Ever had something similar happen to you? what happened?
aloneinaz Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Very, very odd. I'd totally ignore her. Who texts someone a year plus later after disappearing after two dates. Be glad she did because her elevator obviously isn't reaching the top floor. 1
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I don't even know what to say. Drunk texting??? I would delete and move on. 1
NoLeafClover Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Last night I got the most unexpected text, it said "Hi, you prob don't remember me but we went out last year and drifted apart after a few dates. Anyway, just wanted to say that I had fun on the dates and hope all is well with you. Jackie" even though it had a name to it, it took me a minute to work out who the text was from - it was from a woman I went out on two dates with in April 2012. After the second date, which I had a fun time on, she mentioned that she too had a fun time and that she would "be in touch in a few days" to arrange going out again. Never heard from her again... until last night. She completely blew me off, we only went out on two dates to begin with so why on earth would she send me that text? I am well aware of what "breadcrumbs" are but I don't think it is that because breadcrumbs implies there was a relationship and dumping... but there was neither, she simply blew me off after two dates! I have not responded to the text, I am not going to to... but why would she send me it after 14 months? Ever had something similar happen to you? what happened? I've done this many times before when I had nothing better to do and was going through my phone and would text random girls I went out on dates with and just to catch up. Most of the time it starts with just playing games on the celphone and ends up to the contact list scrolling through names and so forth. I personally don't think you should treat this as any-type of breadcrumb as there has been no relationship to start off with. Simply a lonely woman looking for attention or perhaps she is newly single looking for a new man to hang out with. 2
aloneinaz Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 When I'm dating and get the girls phone number, I put it on my contacts. As soon as Ive meet her and didn't see a connection, I delete the number. Same goes if I dated them for a week or two or month. Once it's over, I see no need to keep the number on my phone.
melodymatters Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 A likely scenario is that she picked bachelor #2 at the time and it didn't work out. No crime there, as that is what dating is for. Another possibility is she wasn't ready for anything at the time. Perhaps she shouldn't be dating then, but I think a lot of us at some point THINK we are, go on a few dates and THEN realize we aren't. Also not horrible. If she kept your number, AND called you, you obviously weren't easily forgettable. I have had both scenario one and two happen, and thought " Ordinary day is a cool guy, too bad about the timing". If anything, be flattered, and if you are single and liked her a year ago, I don't see what the harm would be to text back. " Wow, nice to hear from you, how are you doing ?" and if she replies in a flirty manner, meet her for a drink or something casual.
Imajerk17 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Contact her back and see what is up if you are curious. People on LS--including myself from time to time--advocate "standing on principle" (by ignoring her) too much on here IMO. She probably ghosted due to stuff going on in her life--another guy an ex resurfaced work issues. Not at all cool for her to vanish without saying something. As you and she only went out a few times though it's not like she seriously wronged you.
Chi townD Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I'm shocked she knew and still had your number after 14 months! I barely remember what I had for breakfast!
mortensorchid Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 She went with someone else and then it didn't work. She held onto your number and then thought she'd try it again with you. I wouldn't respond if I were you, she'll blow you off again. This happened to me before. I had met this guy on Match and we had arranged to meet, then he canceled as he wanted to watch a game on TV. I said ok, he kept badgering me for another photo via text. After a few days, I finally sent him one of me. It was not provocative in any way, it was a headshot of me in the mirror after a haircut. He texted back "Thanks". And then I didn't hear anything from him, and I expected him to set up another get together if he really wanted to meet me, but since I didn't hear anything I just assumed Next! He called on Memorial Day weekend, then again on July 4th weekend. I picked up and he asked if I wanted to meet, I said "No thank you" and hung up.
Mr.Mango Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 She went with someone else and then it didn't work. She held onto your number and then thought she'd try it again with you. I wouldn't respond if I were you, she'll blow you off again. Could be multiple scenarios, though I agree she'll probably blow you off again. In my opinion it's hard to take someone seriously when they flake, don't explain, don't apologize and then feel like they can contact you out of the blue. She probably doesn't take you seriously either. I like how optimistic melodymatters is, though I suppose I'll have to be the bummer here. Not once in my experience has a girl had such a turn around for me. On the rare occasion I would text back or even meet up they would always repeat what happened last time. One time I even got really offended, she told me she blew me off because I didn't have sex with her right away and then promptly went on to ask me if I would have sex with her now, a whopping 6 months later. In your situation I would leave it alone. Just my opinion based on experience.
Lansing Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I wouldn't be so serious about it... Why not re-connect with her? Maybe she waited a week to respond and maybe she got nervous about contacting you again because she waited. Maybe she was hoping that you would re-initiate contact and you didn't? If you called her a few times and she didn't return your call that is one thing (and yeah, no need to contact her again). But, if she said "I will be in touch" and just didn't get back in touch maybe she got nervous/scared or other stuff came up. Personally, if I was attracted to her when I met her I would probably respond and see where things went. Not in a desperate way but in a "curious to see what is up" sort of way.
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 If she was that into you, she wouldn't have let you get away the first time. Honestly, I'm surprised she still remembered you.
phineas Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 If it were me i'd say "I haven't heard from you in over yr. why are you contacting me now" Two dates isn't enough investment to piss me off when they *poof*. However, she is low priority until she shows me she isn't just bored and looking for some attention. In fact i'd probably put her in the "i'm gonna at X with friends sat night if you want to come out category" I wouldn't even schedule an actual date until I saw something from her that showed genuine interest.
Estate Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Last night I got the most unexpected text, it said "Hi, you prob don't remember me but we went out last year and drifted apart after a few dates. Anyway, just wanted to say that I had fun on the dates and hope all is well with you. Jackie" even though it had a name to it, it took me a minute to work out who the text was from - it was from a woman I went out on two dates with in April 2012. After the second date, which I had a fun time on, she mentioned that she too had a fun time and that she would "be in touch in a few days" to arrange going out again. Never heard from her again... until last night. She completely blew me off, we only went out on two dates to begin with so why on earth would she send me that text? I am well aware of what "breadcrumbs" are but I don't think it is that because breadcrumbs implies there was a relationship and dumping... but there was neither, she simply blew me off after two dates! I have not responded to the text, I am not going to to... but why would she send me it after 14 months? Ever had something similar happen to you? what happened? I'd say most likely she's on the rebound and grasping for something.
Ripnet Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 I'd say most likely she's on the rebound and grasping for something. I'm thinking same thing. My ex did that. She broke up with a guy again and then she said she loved me. I don't make the same mistake twice. Sure enough a few months later she was dating another guy and marry her. I dislike being the rebound person.
shexy Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 She was probably dating someone else at the same time she dated you, decided that person was "better" (in her mind), and went with that option. Then he turned out to be a dooosh bag, so now she wants to see if you're still single.
TheFinalWord Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Would let it go. As the saying goes: Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me
Recommended Posts