lulzatyourface Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Long story short: Met a guy seven months ago. Was friendly with him for one month, went on one date, then he said he had reconnected with his ex, and no longer wanted to move forward with me. We didn't talk for five months afterwards. Last week, he texted me apologizing and begging to explain himself. So, I let him call me, and he said the reason he disappeared was because he was falling in love with me, and that scared him. He didn't want to get hurt again. We talk for the next week, and things start going back to the way they were before. Then the issue of trust came up last night. I admitted to him that I don't trust him, and he doesn't want to start something again without my trust. So, he wants to start as friends, earn my trust, then be together. Do I think his reasoning is legitimate? Kind of, sort of. I do think that if we started something now, it would blow up in our faces because of my lack of faith in him. But, at the same time, there are so many red flags. He lied to me, his excuses don't match up, he isn't consistent, he said he has a few "personal issues" that have nothing to do with me, he said that he's afraid he's going to hurt me, etc. He even said that he feels comfortable talking to me "like I'm his therapist". (He sees one every month.) I REALLY like this guy, and he claims that he feels the same and wants a future with me. He doesn't want to give up on us. But, part of me thinks I'm wasting my time, and that I'm just going to get hurt anyway. What would you do if you were me? Would you give him a chance, or would you tell him that it's too late and move on?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Abandon ship Nothing good can come out of this, trust me.
Author lulzatyourface Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Abandon ship Nothing good can come out of this, trust me. That's what my gut is telling me. I just don't know why he's doing this to me. He keeps on telling me that he's going to try his best, that he wants to work back towards where we were, etc. And he does text me everyday and ask to call me. But otherwise, he's all words.
Author lulzatyourface Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Ah, the old 'I was afraid of my feelings for you', eh? Tried and true method of explaining the unexplainable. He wanted to get back with his ex, tried that, it didn't work so he calls up the next best thing -- you. End it now before it begins. That's what I don't get. And I told him that. I asked how he could so afraid if he was still willing to be with his ex. He just kept repeating, "I understand where you're coming from." He avoided an actual explanation, aside from the whole falling in love with me thing.
phineas Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) Ah, the old 'I was afraid of my feelings for you', eh? Tried and true method of explaining the unexplainable. He wanted to get back with his ex, tried that, it didn't work so he calls up the next best thing -- you. End it now before it begins. Yep That's what I don't get. And I told him that. I asked how he could so afraid if he was still willing to be with his ex. He just kept repeating, "I understand where you're coming from." He avoided an actual explanation, aside from the whole falling in love with me thing. Tell him to go to hell. He's feeding you a line. That's like the co-worker who asked me out then blew me of for 6 months, claimed her phone broke & she didn't have my number then asked me out again & blew me off again. Then 6 months later when that guy dumped her she texted me asking if I wanted to get some lunch. Then when I asked why I hadn't heard from her in a while she claimed her phone broke. Really? she must go through a lot of phones & if she didn't have my number how did she text me to ask me to lunch? LAWL!!! C'mon, we work in the same building. She could of called my desk, walked down to my desk, or send me an email at work. Attractive people seem to get away with this because dumb people allow them. Don't be dumb. Tell him not to contact you again. Edited June 21, 2013 by phineas 1
Vercetti Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I R yourz fri3ndz, U c4n trusts, cAn I ha$ headz? Seems the best way to express what I think of this.
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Long story short: Met a guy seven months ago. Was friendly with him for one month, went on one date, then he said he had reconnected with his ex, and no longer wanted to move forward with me. We didn't talk for five months afterwards. Last week, he texted me apologizing and begging to explain himself. So, I let him call me, and he said the reason he disappeared was because he was falling in love with me, and that scared him. He didn't want to get hurt again. .... But, at the same time, there are so many red flags. He lied to me, his excuses don't match up, he isn't consistent, he said he has a few "personal issues" that have nothing to do with me, he said that he's afraid he's going to hurt me, etc. He even said that he feels comfortable talking to me "like I'm his therapist". (He sees one every month.) I REALLY like this guy, and he claims that he feels the same and wants a future with me. He doesn't want to give up on us. But, part of me thinks I'm wasting my time, and that I'm just going to get hurt anyway. What would you do if you were me? Would you give him a chance, or would you tell him that it's too late and move on? LOL. He fell in love with you after one date, but was so afraid of being hurt again that he ran back to the ex who hurt him? Good lord! Five months to concoct an excuse, and that's the best he can do??? You know the answer. You just don't like it. 1
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