caitlin1 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Well to start things off, it's kind of a long story. I don't really know what to make of it but I need some advice on how to proceed. Or to proceed at all. An ex of mine from months ago contacted me out of the blue. Completely random and totally took me off guard. I was moving on and kinda seeing someone else. I really didn't ever think I would hear from him again because of the way things ended. When he ended things with me he remained on my Facebook but I always ignored the urge to talk to him. I checked my Facebook one day and I find that he unfriended me and blocked me as well. I didn't know what to think of that, I was pretty hurt. But I did see that it was a blessing in disguise because I wouldn't be tempted to message him or creep him. We had a pretty good relationship. It was kind of long distance. He lived about an hour away from me and we saw each other as much as we could. I didn't have a car at the time so when we did get together he would come see me, come pick me up to go to his place or I would get a ride to see him. We dated for approx. 6 months. Towards November I could see things weren't really working for him. I had told him around month 3 that I had loved him. I could tell that scared him. As a result of him being scared there was a change in him. We still saw each other but didn't speak as much as we did. And it changed me too, I was scared that he was going to run and I would be afraid to talk to him. He mentioned a few times that things weren't different with me. In November he messaged me one evening after a few days of not talking. He told me that he couldn't do what we were doing anymore. That it just wasn't working. And the distance was hard on him. I kind of understood where he was coming from but at the same time I felt so hurt. I truly loved this guy. I would have done anything for him. There was talk of me moving closer but it never happened. I didn't talk with him for a whole month after that. I didn't want to. I was so hurt and wallowed all day long. One day I decided to call him up. It took a lot of courage but I did it. I told him that I still was in love with him and had been having a really difficult time getting over him. He said that he hadn't hear from me in a month and had some time to move on. He mentioned that he met someone else. That he needed a relationship with a solid future and it just didn't work out between him and I. Then he said goodbye to me and sorry. That was the last I spoke to him. Two weeks ago, I was going through old messages and saw an old message from him. I saw that his name and his profile picture showed up. And photos he had me tagged in all of a sudden showed up. That meant that he unblocked me. I didn't take it as anything and thought that he just didn't see me as a threat anymore. A day later, I got a very random message from him. He said that he had dreamt of me the other night and wanted to tell me. I thought that was weird. I didn't say much other that I thought that is was random and a bit strange. I waited a week and messaged him back and asked why he was messaging me after such a long time. He said that he didn't know, and that he thought that he shouldn't have and apologized. It's confusing me to as to why he is trying to talk to me all of a sudden?
orionboxing Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 He's having second thoughts...or remembering what he liked about you. Him blocking you was probably a result of strong emotions tied to you...or he might have just deleted his Facebook profile and reactivated it for whatever reason. I've deactivated my page a couple times because I didn't want potential employers looking at my personal life before making a judgement on whether or not they were going to hire me. How serious are you with the new guy? You obviously have feelings for the ex otherwise you wouldn't have posted here. If you didn't care, you would have proceeded with the guy you are seeing and never given a crap about your ex. So, talk to the ex...NOW. Ask him what he wants. If he makes his intentions clear in a follow up with you...ask yourself if you want to give it another shot with him if he does and you want this to happen, then you should leave the guy you are "seeing".
Author caitlin1 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Do you think he is? I don't want to get myself into a period of wishful thinking. I do know that he did block me from Facebook because one evening I logged into a friends' Facebook account and saw that he indeed have an account. And unfortunately I did creep him. I caused my own hurt there. I do still have feelings for him. Trying to ignore them as much as I can because I don't want to get myself hurt again.
Author caitlin1 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 As for the new guy, not serious at all. Just seeing each other.
orionboxing Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Do you think he is? I don't want to get myself into a period of wishful thinking. I do know that he did block me from Facebook because one evening I logged into a friends' Facebook account and saw that he indeed have an account. And unfortunately I did creep him. I caused my own hurt there. I do still have feelings for him. Trying to ignore them as much as I can because I don't want to get myself hurt again. I would act upon what you feel. Going through life without taking some risks and thinking "what if" is not a way to live...at least in my opinion. As a precaution, I would prepare myself mentally for rejection before reaching out to him. Go in thinking the odds aren't in your favor in order to soften the blow. Are you strong enough to do this? If you feel that you are not, I wouldn't get involved. Are you sleeping with the guy you are "seeing"? This may or may not hurt him depending on his character if you all of sudden up and leave for the ex because he might have developed some emotional ties to you. But if you do have feelings for the x, it is not fair for the guy you are seeing to be strung along. Good luck at post back if you get the chance.
Author caitlin1 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 There is certainly nothing worse than constantly feelings the what ifs. Or the I should ofs. I've been making small messages not really implying anything, neither showing emotion. I gathered the balls to ask him what this dream he had entailed? I didn't expect to hear for him. He messaged me back saying that it would probably be best if he didn't get into it. That FOR SURE confused me. As for the new man, I have slept with him. But I really don't see it going anywhere. Unless he proves that he really wants me.
orionboxing Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 There is certainly nothing worse than constantly feelings the what ifs. Or the I should ofs. I've been making small messages not really implying anything, neither showing emotion. I gathered the balls to ask him what this dream he had entailed? I didn't expect to hear for him. He messaged me back saying that it would probably be best if he didn't get into it. That FOR SURE confused me. As for the new man, I have slept with him. But I really don't see it going anywhere. Unless he proves that he really wants me. Just ask him what he wants and be direct in what you want. You are not married to this guy, you are not even his girlfriend, so you have nothing to lose by hitting him up and proceeding. Let me tell you, you are doing him a favor by being direct with him. Nothing is worse than an indecisive partner. It doesn't seem like you care about the guy you are currently seeing. I would ditch him immediately since it seems like you are into your ex. It's not fair to him to have you pursuing someone else behind his back when he's getting used to your affection... 1
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