pasteurization Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 So, after more than a month of NC, my ex sends me a text that says: "I hope this doesn't make you upset-- just wanted to let you know that I'm going on a work trip to India-- want me to bring you anything?" I responded by sending her an email that basically said that I wasn't really ready for contact yet, and although I'm getting on with my life, I still need to stay away until I'm completely through with the relationship. I would like her back in my life, and I realize that I probably shouldn't have written back at all in order to make her more intrigued, etc., I was simply honest in my response. Was that the wrong move?
BC1980 Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I think it only matters if it was the right or wrong move for you, not in relation to her. For example, did it set you back to see her email and reply? It doesn't matter if it was the right or wrong move for her. I think you did the right thing by telling her you basically can't talk to her right now.
Archanaart Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I would like her back in my life, and I realize that I probably shouldn't have written back at all in order to make her more intrigued, etc., I was simply honest in my response. Was that the wrong move? Wait, why do you want to make her intrigued? Do you still want to be with her? Or do you want to toy with her or something?
Author pasteurization Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 It felt like the right thing to do at the moment, but now I'm second guessing whether this was her reaching out to start things up again. Ugh-- my brain hurts. I suppose I should just keep thinking that if she wanted to get back together she could just say so directly.
aloneinaz Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 Only you can decide if it was the right thing for YOU. It looks like bread crumbs and she hadn't heard from you and was probably curious if you'd reply to her. I see both sides to NC. I agree that unless they contact saying 'I missing you and want to try again', then what's the point in replying to them. I also think it's kind of rude to ignore someone who was once such a huge part of your life. Then, the bad side of me speaks out. It says "I don't owe her any consideration to reply". She left me saying she didn't want me in her life anymore and wanted to find someone else. I don't owe her the consideration of a reply. Tough call either way.
simplyamazing Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I don't necessarily think it was a bad thing that you broke NC explaining you aren't ready for contact. If she contacts you again though, I would suggest ignoring it completely if it's a breadcrumb.
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