Frank13 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Long story short, she lost feelings for me. I ended things about 1.5 years ago because of that and went NC. It didn't end well because she didn't like me shutting her out of my life. She made about 3 half assed attempts to contact me the first week and then nothing. I never wanted to see her again. Of course I thought about her all the time but eventually things got better. About 11 months later I heard of a death in her family so reached out to her in case she needed anything (I later realized people never need anything from someone they don't care about). I actually met up with her for about 5 minutes and felt nothing for her. I felt it was good to see her because I felt nothing and got some closure. A month later she emailed me thanking me for being there for her. Not wanting to open up old wounds, I simply replied "you're welcome" and told her to take care. A week later I get a message from a mutual acquaintance who she told to tell me "Hi". She knows how to contact me by email, phone, and text so I though that was weird for her to do it that way. I sent a text telling her that I got her message and said "hi" back. She replied "Thanks". That was 5 months ago and we have been NC since. However, the past two months I find I am missing her more and more and I don't know why. I was finally getting better and when I saw her, felt nothing, and felt I got some closure, it was great. I didn't relapse and I was fine for months so can't figure out where this is coming from. Maybe I miss the friendship, but after 1.5 years I shouldn't. Some days I think of just texting her to say hello but I know there is no point. She made it clear she doesn't care about me. I guess I am just looking for someone who has gone through this who will tell me it gets better. I still care about her and want nothing but the best for her. I want her to be happy and I know that doesn't include me, but why the heck am I missing her now?
Author Frank13 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 So I run into another acquaintance last night who said she was talking about me. For some people, this might make them happy that their ex is thinking of them, but for me it does the opposite. In order to cope, I had to shut her out if my life. I can't and don't want to talk about her. To me she doesn't exist. The only time it feels like she exists is when someone talks about her and that sets me back. So for her to talk about me means she doesn't care about me or that we aren't in each other's lives. It doesn't hurt her or set her back to hear my name or know I exist. I'd rather she not talk about me at all. It just really hurts that she can talk about me like nothing when I don't even want to hear her name. It's been almost a year and a half since we split, but this set me back almost to day one for a good four hours. I am much better now but in the past I would only get set back for 2 hours and that was within months of the break up. Don't know hwy it is getting worse instead of better. I honestly would feel better if she didn't talk about me and I felt she had forgotten completely about me. Just venting .
chinacat sunflower Posted June 21, 2013 Posted June 21, 2013 I wouldn't go as far as saying she doesn't care. From what you posted, in my humble opinion, she very well may care for you. She is obviously thinking about you, hence, she told her friend to tell you hello. She emailed you, thanking you for being there for her. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have reached out at all. Just continue doing your own thing with no contact. It could always be much worse. My ex won't talk to me at all, and, well, it sucks. I hope you feel better soon
Author Frank13 Posted June 21, 2013 Author Posted June 21, 2013 Thank you for your thoughts Chinacat. I think she misses me as a friend, but she certainly doesn't care about me like I do her. Otherwise it would hurt her to hear about me. Instead she is the one bringing me up in conversations. If I lost someone who was just a friend, I would be able to talk about them without any problem. I guess that's what hurts.
Damaged23 Posted June 22, 2013 Posted June 22, 2013 Wow man! Sorry, i have no "advice" i just really feel for you.a year and a half? Thats a long time!! It's been 5 monts or so for me, and lately i've been missing him. It sucks!
Author Frank13 Posted June 24, 2013 Author Posted June 24, 2013 Five months after our break up was the worst for me. I got really depressed at that point but slowly got better. Then these past two months I miss her so much. Nothing î can do but move forward.
SuperGeek Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 (edited) My EX made a very poor attempt at coming back after banging a bunch of dudes. My view is that at that point it's so broken and the trust is so destroyed that you don't even want to go there again. It's too risky. Would you knowingly take the elevator up to the 55th floor of a building of which the foundation was about to completely crumble into pieces It's been almost three years for me and I'm now recovering from just the depressing dating scene. I'm indifferent about my ex now. You will get through it, just stay NC and keep busy. Edited June 24, 2013 by SuperGeek
igaveheraway Posted June 24, 2013 Posted June 24, 2013 I started missing my ex the other day and now i am going to try and get her back.
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