sillyanswer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 If it all hinges on luck then what is the point in doing anything? Sounds like it would all be a waste of time. I nearly wrote this in response to one of your earlier posts... but it fits here too: Are you hoping someone will say that you don't have to do anything and the right woman will turn up? I don't think that works if bitterness is your problem.
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 I nearly wrote this in response to one of your earlier posts... but it fits here too: Are you hoping someone will say that you don't have to do anything and the right woman will turn up? I don't think that works if bitterness is your problem. But that is pretty much what MrCastle said.
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I don't know how else to explain this. Just because you're bitter, doesn't mean you give up. Or else the cycle will never be broken. When I was unsuccessful, I was bitter. That didn't stop me from working out, dressing well, improving areas about myself that I could--in preparation for the turn around in luck. I didn't say "well I'm unsuccessful and it will be this way forever." I said "i'm not doing great right now, but let me keep at it, keep improving myself, so that when the opportunity comes, I'll be ready." When I went out, I would go out with a smile on my face, I'd be personable, friendly, etc -- dying inside because I had no girls, but never showing that side of me to anyone. Eventually I got the hang of things, but that's because I put myself in a position to succeed. You can be down about your dating life. Just don't let it consume other areas of your life. Bitterness didn't affect other areas of my life, only the dating aspect. Just because you're bitter doesn't mean you give up on life altogether.
ThaWholigan Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Nothing wrong with a little cynicism IMO. But overall bitterness and anger at the world will either get tiresome or straight up be a turn off. You might be able to find a girl who responds to that somehow so you can both be angry at the world together . I don't think that's something that will be easy though - best bet is working on that bitterness and restoring some balance. 1
sillyanswer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 lol at how little people get it Well I did wonder if the whole thread was a parody of something... but I'm giving the OP the benefit of the doubt. The thread topic is a good one.
Ripnet Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I don't know how else to explain this. Just because you're bitter, doesn't mean you give up. Or else the cycle will never be broken. When I was unsuccessful, I was bitter. That didn't stop me from working out, dressing well, improving areas about myself that I could--in preparation for the turn around in luck. I didn't say "well I'm unsuccessful and it will be this way forever." I said "i'm not doing great right now, but let me keep at it, keep improving myself, so that when the opportunity comes, I'll be ready." When I went out, I would go out with a smile on my face, I'd be personable, friendly, etc -- dying inside because I had no girls, but never showing that side of me to anyone. Eventually I got the hang of things, but that's because I put myself in a position to succeed. You can be down about your dating life. Just don't let it consume other areas of your life. Bitterness didn't affect other areas of my life, only the dating aspect. Just because you're bitter doesn't mean you give up on life altogether. When I was younger my bitterness wasn't not having a girlfriend or succeeding in dating. I was bitter that my own mother rejected me and even my step mom. Then I felt bitter because women were more critical with me. Now with more confidence it doesn't matter if I have a girlfriend or not or even if I'm not successful in dating. I guess reading a book helped me later on. Rejection is part of life.
mahon451 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Are you female? The only thing that will help a bitter man get over his dating woes is dating success. Take up an instrument? I mean really. Hey Mr. CEO, I know your company went under and you lost all your money but here's a guitar. You can't use something else to plug a hole in your life. If you're lonely/desperate for love/sex, the only thing that will solve that is getting laid/getting a girlfriend. Instead of telling them how to cope with bitterness, give then advice on how they can better themselves so they can be more successful with women and lose the bitterness. Whoa. Slow your roll, buddy. I've been through some bitterness, and these are things that helped distract me from it, ultimately making me less bitter, which paradoxically made me more attractive to women, thus ending the cycle. And yes, you can short-circuit the blue-ball bitters by going out and getting laid. Done that one too. It sounds like a couple of the dudes here are having trouble with that, though... thereby necessitating a different method. If you're stuck in a rut, the only way to get out is to do things differently. We'd agree on that, yes?
William Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Quotes without attribution are due to a banned troll. Thanks.
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 I don't know how else to explain this. Just because you're bitter, doesn't mean you give up. Or else the cycle will never be broken. When I was unsuccessful, I was bitter. That didn't stop me from working out, dressing well, improving areas about myself that I could--in preparation for the turn around in luck. I didn't say "well I'm unsuccessful and it will be this way forever." I said "i'm not doing great right now, but let me keep at it, keep improving myself, so that when the opportunity comes, I'll be ready." When I went out, I would go out with a smile on my face, I'd be personable, friendly, etc -- dying inside because I had no girls, but never showing that side of me to anyone. Eventually I got the hang of things, but that's because I put myself in a position to succeed. You can be down about your dating life. Just don't let it consume other areas of your life. Bitterness didn't affect other areas of my life, only the dating aspect. Just because you're bitter doesn't mean you give up on life altogether. So you mean, fake it til you make it? That might work. But how do you change the luck of the dating draw? If bitterness has become a part of who you are.
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