Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 My theory is that if there is someone out there for everyone, then surely there must be someone out there for each person who has grown angry and bitter at the opposite gender (due to a string of bad dating experiences) too?
GI_Joy Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 the ones who are attracted to the bitter cynical people tend to be the ones who have a sort of "savior" complex where they want to change their views and outlook. 1
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 theres more bitter men than women. reason is women get in long lines for the hottest men leaving fewer for the rest. men at the bottom get nothing. according to studies the number of older virgins among men is far higher than among women. But bitterness must be attractive to someone out there right?
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 its especially unattractive to women. on the other hand many men don't care. but try being in my shoes, 40 and no sex or long term relationships ever and try not being bitter. But there are soo many people in the world, I know bitterness must be attractive to someone out there. There are over 7 billion people in the world after all!!
sillyanswer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 My theory is that if there is someone out there for everyone, then surely there must be someone out there for each person who has grown angry and bitter at the opposite gender (due to a string of bad dating experiences) too? Nice optimism, but I'm not convinced. I think a bitter man who recognises his condition and its cause will be more likely to be successful at attracting a woman if he works on his bitterness (and the other things, whatever they are).
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Nice optimism, but I'm not convinced. I think a bitter man who recognises his condition and its cause will be more likely to be successful at attracting a woman if he works on his bitterness (and the other things, whatever they are). But what if bitterness has become part of who you are? If its part of who you are, you can't change that, so you might as well embrace it and find someone who likes your bitterness?
sillyanswer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 But what if bitterness has become part of who you are? Such a man should already be used to being alone, and I don't expect that to change while he doesn't. 1
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 for every thousand bitter men just one woman will be all right with it. How many bitter men do you think there are in the world?
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Such a man should already be used to being alone, and I don't expect that to change while he doesn't. That's really depressing.
mahon451 Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I've not met a single girl who thinks bitterness is an attractive quality. Cynicism, maybe, especially if you're cynical in a sarcastic and/or humorous way, but even then... that will wear on a woman in the long-term. Look, bitter men- your best bet is to find a way to not be bitter. I know that's difficult, and believe me, I've been there, but seriously, you guys- y'all need to stop thinking that a woman is going to magically solve your insecurity/loneliness/anger/frustration problems. Here are some relatively easy solutions to your problems: - Meditation. I'm dead serious on this. There are books, online resources, and specialists who can help you out with this one. It's not a magic pill to cure what ails you, but it's pretty f-ing close. - Take up a musical instrument, and throw yourself into mastering it. - Therapy. If you're long-term bitter, there are some issues behind it, and talking to an unbiased professional can work wonders. - Healthy diet combined with daily vigourous exercise. Endorphins, yo. - Join a co-ed, non-professional sports team in your area. Great way to meet people. Or you can, you know, keep sitting around being bitter, comfortable in the knowledge that it won't ever change.
Divasu Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 A **little** is actually kind of cute and funny. A little. Too much of it, is better reserved for the movies, and is why Nicholas Cage in Honeymoon in Vegas is sheer comedic genius
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I've not met a single girl who thinks bitterness is an attractive quality. Cynicism, maybe, especially if you're cynical in a sarcastic and/or humorous way, but even then... that will wear on a woman in the long-term. Look, bitter men- your best bet is to find a way to not be bitter. I know that's difficult, and believe me, I've been there, but seriously, you guys- y'all need to stop thinking that a woman is going to magically solve your insecurity/loneliness/anger/frustration problems. Here are some relatively easy solutions to your problems: - Meditation. I'm dead serious on this. There are books, online resources, and specialists who can help you out with this one. It's not a magic pill to cure what ails you, but it's pretty f-ing close. - Take up a musical instrument, and throw yourself into mastering it. - Therapy. If you're long-term bitter, there are some issues behind it, and talking to an unbiased professional can work wonders. - Healthy diet combined with daily vigourous exercise. Endorphins, yo. - Join a co-ed, non-professional sports team in your area. Great way to meet people. Or you can, you know, keep sitting around being bitter, comfortable in the knowledge that it won't ever change. Are you female? The only thing that will help a bitter man get over his dating woes is dating success. Take up an instrument? I mean really. Hey Mr. CEO, I know your company went under and you lost all your money but here's a guitar. You can't use something else to plug a hole in your life. If you're lonely/desperate for love/sex, the only thing that will solve that is getting laid/getting a girlfriend. Instead of telling them how to cope with bitterness, give then advice on how they can better themselves so they can be more successful with women and lose the bitterness. 1
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Are you female? The only thing that will help a bitter man get over his dating woes is dating success. Take up an instrument? I mean really. Hey Mr. CEO, I know your company went under and you lost all your money but here's a guitar. You can't use something else to plug a hole in your life. If you're lonely/desperate for love/sex, the only thing that will solve that is getting laid/getting a girlfriend. Instead of telling them how to cope with bitterness, give then advice on how they can better themselves so they can be more successful with women and lose the bitterness. So bitterness can be attractive to some women then?
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 So bitterness can be attractive to some women then? Bitterness is not attractive at all. How can you be successful and form relationships with the opposite sex if you secretly despise them? You're not opening yourself up for love. You need to sit back, look at yourself honestly and introspectively, figure out what you can fix about yourself, and put yourself in the dating world. When you start making gains, you'll start losing the bitterness.
TouchedByViolet Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 I'm a guy and do find a little bitterness attractive in all people. I also like dark comedies, and gallows humor. My friends and I often laugh at ourselves.
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Bitterness is not attractive at all. How can you be successful and form relationships with the opposite sex if you secretly despise them? You're not opening yourself up for love. You need to sit back, look at yourself honestly and introspectively, figure out what you can fix about yourself, and put yourself in the dating world. When you start making gains, you'll start losing the bitterness. But if dating success is whats going to get rid of the bitterness, and you have to be unbitter to have that dating success, how can you get rid of the bitterness to have the dating success in the first place? Its a catch 22 situation.
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 But if dating success is whats going to get rid of the bitterness, and you have to be unbitter to have that dating success, how can you get rid of the bitterness to have the dating success in the first place? Its a catch 22 situation. It definitely is. A lot of dating success hinders on luck. I know some don't want to believe it, but it's true. There is a well known poster on this forum. Well known for being mostly negative and bitter. He's had recent success. Not because he changed his approach, but because finally, something went his way. He didn't say "well let me focus on something else," he harped on it and continued to tell us that he wasn't gonna let it go until he got what he wanted, and he got it. I'm not advocating doing nothing, as I said before, look at yourself and be the best you can be, put yourself out there, and that's all you can really do on your end. The rest is luck. This semester in school, every single girl I went after in my classes (about 8 of them, the ones I really wanted) all had boyfriends. That's just me drawing the short straw. Sometimes you're the pigeon, sometimes you're the statue.
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 It definitely is. A lot of dating success hinders on luck. I know some don't want to believe it, but it's true. There is a well known poster on this forum. Well known for being mostly negative and bitter. He's had recent success. Not because he changed his approach, but because finally, something went his way. He didn't say "well let me focus on something else," he harped on it and continued to tell us that he wasn't gonna let it go until he got what he wanted, and he got it. I'm not advocating doing nothing, as I said before, look at yourself and be the best you can be, put yourself out there, and that's all you can really do on your end. The rest is luck. This semester in school, every single girl I went after in my classes (about 8 of them, the ones I really wanted) all had boyfriends. That's just me drawing the short straw. Sometimes you're the pigeon, sometimes you're the statue. If it all hinges on luck then what is the point in doing anything? Sounds like it would all be a waste of time.
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 If it all hinges on luck then what is the point in doing anything? Sounds like it would all be a waste of time. Luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity. If you're not prepared, you'll miss out on the opportunity.
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Luck occurs when preparation meets opportunity. If you're not prepared, you'll miss out on the opportunity. How can you be prepared though? If bitterness is all you know
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 How can you be prepared though? If bitterness is all you know Like I said before, work on yourself. Personality, body, fashion sense, etc. Max yourself out. When the time comes for one of those girls to break up with her boyfriend, who is she gonna rebound with? The guy who looks and acts presentable, or the guy who's given up on improving himself?
Author Neveki Posted June 20, 2013 Author Posted June 20, 2013 Like I said before, work on yourself. Personality, body, fashion sense, etc. Max yourself out. When the time comes for one of those girls to break up with her boyfriend, who is she gonna rebound with? The guy who looks and acts presentable, or the guy who's given up on improving himself? But its bitterness that makes you unattractive right? And you can't get rid of that unless you get lucky? So unless you get lucky with someone who finds bitterness attractive, how is that going to work? Might as well just wait for the luck to arrive.
Star Gazer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 Bitterness is one of the most disgusting traits a man can demonstrate while dating.
Star Gazer Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 EDITED. Please. READ. "ONE OF the most disgusting traits."
MrCastle Posted June 20, 2013 Posted June 20, 2013 But its bitterness that makes you unattractive right? And you can't get rid of that unless you get lucky? So unless you get lucky with someone who finds bitterness attractive, how is that going to work? Might as well just wait for the luck to arrive. 1 - You work on yourself. Be your best self. 2 - Be as optimistic as possible (although I believe no one will ever be happy until they truly get what they want--that doesn't mean you openly show your bitterness; use this site as many do to vent your frustrations, but put a phony smile on when in public and dealing with the opposite sex) 3 - Wait for results to start showing
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